Zold took a deep breath, preventing his emotions from taking over him.
He raised his head and swept his gaze across everyone, eyes full of quiet despair.
Seeing their continuous sympathy, his lips curved into a smile.
A broken, pathetic smile.
"... Aren’t you angry?"
He asked, almost chuckling.
The countless figures exchanged a glance.
Then, they looked at Zold, tilting their heads as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world.
And yet, Zold couldn’t understand.
"Why...?!"
Zold clenched his teeth, almost shouting.
His voice broke through the mist, demanding an answer.
But the figures simply shook their heads, sighing quietly.
"..."
Zold lowered his gaze, falling silent.
He couldn’t understand why...
Why couldn’t they answer him?
Why couldn’t they speak to him?
In truth, they were already speaking.
They were already reaching out their feelings towards him.
It was him who couldn’t hear them.
It was him who couldn’t accept their feelings.
The reason was clear why.
Because accepting their feelings ant also accepting the one thing he could never accept... that it was okay for him to fail.
Their gazes landed on him, full of sympathy and concern.
The longer they stared, the more his thoughts turned disordered.
’... Is it really okay...’
Feeling a sense of despair, Zold’s heart crumbled softly.
It was as if he was back to the zoo.
His mind had long put past the rationality.
Quietly, his emotions surged, like a broken dam, flooding his soul.
Sorrow took over his numbness.
His heart devoured his mind.
Zold’s mouth opened.
The despairing feeling of wanting to know overca the stubborn feeling of self-hatred.
"... Why?"
And then, their feelings reached him.
’Why should they be angry?’
The figures opened their mouths, but no voice ca out.
Yet Zold understood.
All of them, with no exception, had trusted him with their lives, not just because they believed he would succeed, but also because they admired everything about him.
His courage, perseverance, and resolve.
He was their hero.
Zold hated himself because he believed he failed them, but in reality, they were the ones who failed him.
They promised to accompany him to the end, and yet they died in front of him, letting him cry while holding their corpse.
How could they be angry?
The figures all had different expressions. So were sad, so were ashad, so were happy, while so were lancholic.
To them, Zold was their hope and despair, their sadness and anger.
He was a terrifying, admirable human being who would never stop walking on his path, even if every bone in the body broke, every organ failed, and even if all hope was lost...
Zold would remain, looking at the Nine Apostles with silent fury.
"I rember you..."
Zold suddenly stopped on one figure, recognizing him.
"It’s been a while, huh?"
The figure smiled at his words, nodding slightly.
Zold hesitated for a mont, but then, possessed by nostalgia, his mouth opened by its own.
"After your death..."
The mont he talked, more and more figures manifested, and slowly they gathered towards him.
By the ti he realized it, he was already surrounded on all fronts.
"...!"
Zold was startled. But then, he couldn’t help but laugh sincerely, looking at every figure around him.
He closed his mouth...
Then opened it again.
He talked, and talked.
He recalled every mont and interaction with every figure, recalling all the treasured mories he kept deep in his heart.
Every figure simply smiled, listening to him express himself with childish joy.
There will co a point in ti when a person will face their own guilt.
But...
Don’t be afraid.
Sotis guilt wasn’t a bad thing, it ant one cared.
Zold quietly felt tears sliding down his cheeks, but he felt no sorrow.
No sadness.
Only now did he realize people could genuinely cry out of joy.
After a while, Zold stood up.
The figures looked at him, not stopping him.
"I’m going now."
He paused, then continued.
"... In this second chance, I’ll make sure to save all of you."
"I’ll end this cycle once and for all."
"I promise, my friends."
Zold’s gaze was distant, looking at the sky above.
His words were soft, drifting through the mist like a gentle whisper.
At that mont, he suddenly saw another figure manifest.
His gaze shifted in surprise.
Now she has appeared.
He was curious about why he didn’t see her earlier, but perhaps this trial knew to save the best for last.
With long brown hair, athyst eyes, and a gentle gaze that seed to see through his heart.
Maria, or her phantom, stopped in front of him.
Zold stared at her quietly.
"I’m sorry... Maria, but..."
"Shush."
Unlike the others, Maria’s phantom spoke. She put a finger on her lips, then put it over his.
Tap.
Surprised, Zold couldn’t help but be startled, stumbling back.
But Maria closed in on him, hugging him from the neck tightly.
"It’s okay, Zold."
Zold fell silent, hearing only his hushed breathing.
"... What’s okay? I told you to leave." He muttered with eyes cast downwards.
Maria’s hug only tightened.
"It’s okay, Zold."
"... You loved so much, yet..."
"It’s okay, Zold."
"I thought I was angry—"
"Shush."
Maria put her finger over his lips once more. She smiled softly.
"It’s okay, Zold. Tell her in person... next ti."
She paused, then held his cheeks, caressing them gently.
"It’s ti to go."
"..."
Zold fell silent, the words in his throat forcing themselves back in.
Maria did not speak, only showing a gentle smile. She put both of her arms around Zold’s neck once more, then burrowed her head deep in his chest.
"You know that Maria only wanted what’s best for you..."
"I do."
"She loves you."
"..."
Zold couldn’t answer.
Truth to be told, it was because he regained his human emotions that he was able to face all of them this calmly.
Sensing his thoughts, Maria pushed back, tiptoing as her face closed to his.
"Don’t hurt yourself, Zold."
"...!"
Zold’s mouth turned agape.
Then, under his gaze, Maria slowly vanished.
Before she vanished, her eyes t his, full of longing and sympathy.
"Go."
Zold’s lips shook slightly, and then he started once again.
The others also disappeared.
But like before, they simply watched his back move forward, unable to accompany him.
Step... step...
Zold didn’t know how long he had been walking.
His thoughts were disordered, sothing that rarely occurred.
Perhaps it was due to the effect of the monster’s proto-domain, but in here, he felt comfortable.
As if all the fears in his heart were released, allowing his mind to think freely.
But while his mind was free, his heart was crumbling slowly.
This was also another thing about guilt.
It made one see how much they did others wrong, but they completely fail to see how much they were doing themselves wrong.
Guilt could make a person see their own actions like an objective third party, dissecting their own mistakes and failures, yet not accounting for their own feelings.
In exchange for that clarity, they couldn’t see how much they were hurting, and perhaps they did, but they accepted it as part of their karma.
Even if others could sympathize with them, the person themselves could not.
For a brief mont, the 13th Demon Hunter Squad’s Captain, the strongest among regressors--One Without Equal--Zold Starks felt incredibly human.
By the ti the mist cleared, he knew that the trials were finished.
Yet that also ant it was ti to stop dreaming.
Reviews
All reviews (0)