I stared at Ren’s ssage for a mont.
I didn’t want to bail on him. I really didn’t.
My hands were shaking, but I typed anyway.
: Hey... I don’t think I’ll be able to make it today. I’m really sorry. I’m just... not okay today.
I pressed send before I could overthink it.
A part of felt relieved. Another part of felt like a horrible person
I’d just disappointed the one person on Earth who doesn’t deserve my ss.
It didn’t take long before the three dots popped up.
Then his reply ca in:
Ren: Oh...
It’s okay, jellybean. I understand.
I’m sorry for pushing you. No pressure.
I understand if Ian doesn’t want us around each other.
Take care of yourself, okay?
No. I disappointed him.
I groaned into my pillow.
Why was he apologizing like he’s the problem?
Why was he assuming Ian gets to dictate what I do?
I wiped my face angrily.
"Ian doesn’t want us around each other?"
That line just kept replaying in my head.
He doesn’t want around Ren?
The sa he who was out there lying to , cheating, knocking other girls up, and calling babies "trash"?
I was furious.
My chest kept heaving from the bottled up anger.
And then, suddenly, every part of snapped into place.
"You know what?" I whispered into the room, sat up straight, wiped my face, and hissed:
"Screw Ian."
I stood from my bed, ignoring the cramps stabbing my waist, and walked to my mirror.
My face looked puffy, my eyes were red.
"Screw that stupid, lying sex freak."
I grabbed my phone again and sent Ren another text.
: Actually...
Can you co pick up from ho?
I left school early to sort out sothing.
I’m free now.
My thumb hovered for only one second.
Then I hit send.
I took a shaky breath, whispering to myself:
"I’m going to Ren’s."
I gathered the energy to stand, dragging myself toward the bathroom.
As I closed the door behind , Ian’s face popped into my head.... every lie, every smile, every touch I thought ant sothing.
I panicked instantly.
I turned on the tap and splashed cold water on my face. It didn’t help the burning in my eyes.
How could he look at like that...
And then go touch her?
"He lied to ," I whispered. "He lied straight to my face."
A tear slid down my chin.
I wrapped my arms around myself because I suddenly felt cold.
I thought of the night at the beach outhouse.
It was all lies. Everything he said, every sweet word, just so he could fuck , and then toss aside like I ant nothing.
My chest ached.
"I was so stupid," I whispered. "So stupid to trust him."
I walked out of the bathroom wincing in pain.
I reached for my phone on the bed.
A new ssage lit the screen.
Ren: Aii’t, I’m on my way.
Get ready in 10.
"Phew..."
Ten minutes.
I pressed a hand over my chest, trying to breathe...
"God... Ren is going to see like this. I can’t let see looking miserable."
I grabbed the nearest hoodie and pulled it over my head, the sleeve got stuck for a second.
I dragged it down, smoothed my hair, tied it back, untied it, tied it again.
"Get yourself together, June!"
Few minutes later.
Ren’s car pulled up in front of my house right on ti.
When I stepped outside, he was already waiting. Leaning against the car, with his hands tucked into the sleeves, looking calm in that soft, quiet way he always did.
When his eyes t mine, his shoulders relaxed a little, as he smiled softly.
He didn’t say a word.
He just opened the passenger door gently and gave a tiny nod.
The ride was peaceful.
Soft music played from the speakers.
The kind that made your chest loosen a little.
Halfway there, his voice broke the quiet.
"Earlier... you said you weren’t okay." He paused, for a mont. "Are... are you feeling any better?"
I shook my head slightly, biting the inside of my cheek. "Yeah. I’m fine," I whispered, knowing it was a lie.
When we reached his house, he walked ahead and held the door open for .
"Co in," he gestured softly. "Do you want sothing to drink? Water, tea... anything?"
"I’m fine," I shook my head. "Let’s just practice, and get it over with."
We started going through the song.
He sat at the piano and began to play gently, letting ease into the music without a word.
But when I tried singing, my voice cracked and trailed off.
At one point, I completely lost track of where we were in the song.
I just stared at the paper like it wasn’t blank, and didn’t move my lips.
Ren slowed the lody, then stopped playing entirely.
He stood and walked over, his hand lightly brushing mine as he took the sheet from . I didn’t fight it.
"June..." he said, softly. "You’re really not okay, are you?"
I shook my head, trying not to let my tears fall.
"You want... sothing to eat?" he asked again. "Even just a cookie or so water?"
"I... no. I’m okay," I shook my head, trying to keep it together.
"Really? Nothing?" he asked gently.
"No! I..." I flared up, louder than I ant to, "No! I already said i don’t want anything from you!" My voice cracked, and I imdiately buried my face in my hands. "I’m sorry. I didn’t an for it to co out like that..."
Ren paused, then slowly reached out, brushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear. His eyes softened so much it almost made lt.
"Hey..." he whispered. "It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize for being human. Yelling at ? That’s fine too. You can even scream if you want, just don’t lock it all in there. I promise I’ll still think you’re amazing."
After a mont, I sighed, and decided to ask the question that had been gnawing at . "Can I ask you sothing?"
He nodded, raising his eyebrows in curiosity.
"What... exactly do you also want from ?" I whispered.
His eyes widened, like he wasn’t expecting that. "Huh? I don’t understand," he said softly.
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