Glass Hearts [BL] Chapter 164: It’s Really Dark In Here[June’s POV]

The second I got ho, I threw my backpack on the floor and collapsed onto my bed.

My mirror still had a smudge of mascara from this morning. My favorite blue sweater lay crumpled in the corner from yesterday, and for so reason it felt like the perfect taphor for ....wrinkled, ignored, and way too dramatic.

Okay so... what the actual hell is my life right now.

My brain wouldn’t shut up. It kept playing the sa disasters on loop.

Ren. Ian. Marcus.

A boy I can’t have. A boy I shouldn’t want. A boy who hates . Triple crown of disasters.

So, yeah. I’m a ss. A disaster. The definition of "girl who has lost the plot."

And now my brain still wouldn’t shut up about Ren.

Am I even allowed to check on him? Like... what’s the etiquette here? I don’t want it to look like I’m an ho wrecker.

I rolled over and grabbed my phone.

Ash already sent a ssage.

Ash: Juney, you checked up on Ian yet?

I groaned out loud, flopping onto my pillow.

"No. Absolutely not. Why would I check up on Ian?"

Then, Ian’s face flashed in my head, the way he looked at after the kiss. The way I moaned in his mouth. How he carried when we were making out.

No. Nope. Im not texting him. Not when Ren already has spiraling.

God. I wish I could be normal.

I grabbed my phone again, hovering over Ian’s na. My thumb was literally sweating.

Fine. Not because I want to. Not because I care. Only because Ash guilt-tripped .

I told myself I didn’t care. Which is exactly the kind of thing people say when they’re about to do sothing deeply, embarrassingly caring.

I typed, deleted the ssage, then typed again.

: hey, are you okay?

I stared at it for a while. Then I hit send before I could chicken out.

Instant regret.

I buried my face in my pillow and scread into it. "I hate myself. I actually hate myself."

Of course. No reply.

Why would he reply?

I sighed, tossing my phone onto the blanket...only for it to buzz again.

Ian: not bad. just a headache. Thanks for checking up on .

I exhaled, smiled at the ssage and my fingers moved again.

: I’m sorry about Liam. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling at the mont. Do u need anything?

The typing dots appeared, stopped, then appeared again.

Ian: Thanks June. Honestly, I’m not really okay. Do you mind coming over?

I stared at the screen, my heart started racing a little too fast.

It wasn’t a line, it didn’t feel like a joke. Just... him. Was he being honest about coming over?

Why would he want there?

I chewed my lip, staring at my closet.

Well, I could do that. Just show up, check in, make sure he’s okay. That’s all.

Before I left, I opened Marcus’ chat. My chest tightened as I typed.

: you still mad at ?

He read imdiately. Still, no reply.

The silence stung, but i tossed my phone on the bed anyway.

I got up, pulling on jeans and a top, telling myself this wasn’t about caring about Ian. It was about not leaving him alone in all this.

This wasn’t a date.

My face looked tired, my eyes were a little red. Ian wasn’t gonna care what I looked like.

I shoved my phone in my pocket, and told myself I wasn’t nervous. Except my hands were shaking just a little.

Still... when my phone buzzed, I snatched it up instantly, hoping it was Marcus.

It wasn’t.

Ian: you coming?

I sighed before replying.

: yeah. on my way.

By the ti the cab pulled up in front of Ian’s house, the windows had fogged with my breath.

My palm stung against the cold iron gate. I caught my reflection in the glossy black tal.

The streetlight hit just right, enough for to see the ss. My hair was frizzing out of the bun.

I pulled at my bun, tried smoothing it down, then tugged the top tighter.

And then I froze.

Why am I even doing this?

This is Ian.

The boy who drives insane every ti he opens his mouth. I shouldn’t care if I look like I just rolled out of bed. I shouldn’t even be here.

But the stupid part? I did care. My chest was buzzing like maybe he’d actually look at and... I don’t know. Notice.

I bit my lip, shook my head, muttering, "Get it together, June," under my breath.

Then I pressed the bell before I could chicken out.

The butler noticed right away, that calm little smile already on his face.

"Miss June," he said, polite as ever. "Are you here to work today?" or "Are you here to see Master Ian?"

I blinked. "Uh... no. Not today."

Sothing in his smile shifted, like he knew more than he was letting on...but he didn’t press. Just gave a small nod.

"If you’re here to see master Ian, he’s in his room."

Great. Now the butler thinks I’m sneaking up to Ian’s room for... whatever.

The butler gave that polite little smile, and stepped aside

The house was too quiet.

By the ti I made it to Ian’s door, my hands were sweating. I lifted my fist to knock, but the door cracked open first.

"Ian?"

I didn’t even get the rest out before his hand hooked around my wrist and tugged inside.

The door clicked shut behind us, and just like that, I was swallowed by the dark.

The curtains were pulled. The lights were off.

My eyes took a second to adjust, but I could make out the outline of him, slouched on the bed in a black t-shirt, hair ssy like he hadn’t bothered with anything all day.

"Sorry," he muttered. "Didn’t feel like turning the lights on."

"It’s okay," I whispered, softer than I ant to.

He didn’t let go of my wrist right away, just gave it a little squeeze before finally dropping it. I stood there awkwardly, trying not to stare at how his face was half in shadow.

I should’ve said sothing normal, like how’s your headache or I can leave if you’re tired.

Instead, all that ca out was, "It’s really dark in here."

"Yeah," he said, leaning back onto his elbows. "Makes it easier."

My stomach did this stupid little flip.

Easier for what?

His room was pitch-black, curtains drawn.

My brain instantly went to the worst nasty interpretation.

Did he an... easier to touch ? Easier to pull closer? Easier to kiss ?

I could feel my face heat up, and I hated myself for it. June, stop. You’re literally insane. He probably didn’t even an it like that.

Still, my voice ca out a little shaky. "Easier... for what?"

Ian tilted his head, and in the dark, I caught the outline of his smirk fading into sothing smaller. Sadder. "To pretend. To not think about Liam every ti I close my eyes."

Oh.

My chest tugged hard, guilt hitting for where my brain went. He wasn’t being a flirt. He was being real. Broken in a way I hadn’t seen before.

"Ian..." I whispered, softer now.

He shrugged, like it wasn’t a big deal, but the way his jaw clenched gave him away.

I sat down at the edge of his bed, careful, like I might break the mont if I was too loud. "I get it," I said, and my voice almost cracked.

For a while, it was just that....the two of us breathing in the dark.

Then he turned his head toward , eyes glinting in the little bit of moonlight leaking through the curtains. "Why’d you really co, June?"

My throat closed. I wanted to say Ash made , but the truth stuck in my chest. "Because... I wanted to."

His gaze lingered, softer than I’d ever seen it. "You’re lying."

I shook my head quickly. "I’m not. I an... yeah, Ash kind of pushed . But I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t care."

Sothing shifted in his expression then...not the cocky Ian everyone else knew, but a calr, gentler version. "You care?" he asked, like he didn’t believe it.

I exhaled a laugh. "Don’t make say it twice."

He smirked, just a little. "Good. ’Cause I kind of like it when you care."

"I don’t care," my voice cracked. "I only ca because... I wanted to check up on you. Because of Liam."

My palms were sweating.

Why am I this nervous? He’s just the sa Ian.

Ian tilted his head, watching in the dark.

He sighed, then pushed himself up off the bed. I froze.

What is he about to do?

Ian crossed the room, pulled the curtains open, and flicked on the lamp.

Soft light filled the space, and suddenly there was nowhere for to hide.

His eyes dragged over , as he chuckled.

"You’re shaking," he said quietly. "Like you’re not comfortable."

My breath caught. I wanted to say no, I’m fine, totally fine, but my body was snitching on .

My heart was sprinting, and my stupid hands wouldn’t stop fidgeting.

I bit my lip, forcing a shaky laugh. "I’m fine. Really. Just... I don’t know why I’m so nervous."