Since childhood, I have possessed a sense that others lack or perhaps feel only faintly.
Being able to hear and see the exhaustion hidden beneath my parents' forced smiles, the grievances behind sibling argunts, the distance cloaked within neighbors' greetings...
To describe it more simply and understandably... I can comprehend the human heart.
Just like learning to speak, just like toddlers learning to walk... I naturally ca to understand how to use this "comprehension" as I grew older.
I learned to empathize, learned to deftly adjust, learned to beco the "good child" in everyone's eyes.
Thus, I made many friends and earned the admiration of adults.
— You will surely beco an exceptional cleric soday.
Once firmly believed in such a future.
However, as I grew older, eting more people, my understanding of the spirit also deepened and broadened.
The world is never entirely gentle; it is more constituted of complex and mottled emotions, compromising with one another, forming relatively soft colors.
Not everyone is kind, and not all kind people are worth associating with.
So approach you for your status in a circle, so outwardly friendly people secretly harbor jealousy, and so although pure, lack boundaries and are not suited for deep friendship.
The human heart is ever-changing; each encounter is an unknown challenge, sotis even instilling a hint of fear.
Thus, occasionally, one may feel tired.
But never disgusted.
Feeling joy when receiving kindness, happiness when getting reciprocation.
Confident that my actions are correct, my character is upright, reinforcing such beliefs each ti.
To use this strength to help soone, to improve oneself to save soone.
This world is filled with spirits that need .
Yet unknowingly, doubts arise within my heart.
Seeing my parents interacting, seeing couples on the streets, even seeing friends happily playing around...
After witnessing countless intimate monts of others, a sudden thought arises:
— Will I also encounter such a special existence?
At that ti, I could not distinguish what "special" truly ant, whether it was for myself or regarding the attributes of others.
Whether family or friends, they all have their own troubles, and I can help them in my own way...
Because I treat everyone equally, there is no need for special treatnt, nor is there anyone who rits special attention.
Everyone is a friend, yet there is no friend exclusively belonging to , none who regards as their most important friend.
No one is "unique" to , nor does anyone consider "unique."
I am like a gentle lubricant, becoming the bridge between others.
Although adored by everyone in small groups, maintaining the group's existence, it seems these people would scatter without .
But they can still find new friends, can still establish new groups.
The reason for gathering around was rely because I created a more comforting atmosphere than elsewhere.
But if I didn't intentionally do so?
If stripped of the "perceptive understanding," stripped of all comforting acts, even committing unsettling behavior... would anyone still regard as an indispensable friend?
There are many books in the church regarding spirit; adults often say it's too early for children to read these, but I have acquired the privilege.
And while reading these books, similar doubts always erge in my mind.
However, even if I ask these questions to the priest, I would probably only receive a warm gaze and responses like "You will understand when you grow up."
Irrespective of appearance, even unrelated to conduct, simply because "I" am "," regarded as the most treasured existence.
...If one acts with such intentions, perhaps it can "craft" such a person.
But that is not correct; my spirit does not acknowledge such behavior.
Also clear that if I act this way, I will no longer be myself.
Actually, I do understand this principle: human spirits are not independently existing entities.
Identity, relationships, actions, even appearance — only with these, can one be established as a person, gain a position in others' hearts.
Only discussing abstract self, craving a "love" that persists after everything is relinquished, is a child's delusion.
Thus, adults provide ambiguous answers, as it is unavoidable.
Yet these doubts, during each interaction, still surface in my heart, which perhaps is proof of my immaturity.
After all, I am not as strong as the "Saintess," and can only empathize, sharing so trivial troubles.
But being like this now, isn't it already abundant with happiness?
Until—that day, I t the girl.
It was just an ordinary encounter, strolling in different areas of the city, finding those who need help, that is her interest.
Thanks to the legendary Viscount, the city's public order is excellent.
The adults say there are areas children shouldn't enter, but after she secretly explored, she found it was really just like that.
Reportedly, once a rumor of wrongdoing spreads in this city, enforcent agents are unnecessary; the Viscount swiftly sends those people ten kiloters high.
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