Chapter 79: Chapter 12
December 31st (Thursday) – Ayase Saki
"It's a hard-packed floor…" I blurted out the first thing that ca to mind.
Asamura-kun's family's house (or Stepdad's family) was much bigger than I had imagined. Not to ntion that it was relatively old. Judging by the architecture, it was probably built in the early Showa period. It had tiles for a roof, with a tataki at the doma. After stepping into the doorway, the hallway shone brightly like ebony, making it obvious how well it had been looked after.
I really love these kinds of old, Japanese-style houses. Looking at buildings and furniture that has survived the passage of ti thanks to the care of the inhabitants tells the story they went through, and I like doing that. The hallway that was hidden by the covered storm shutter was illuminated up by the winter sun's shine. It was directly connected to the garden, and the covers of the storm shutters had faint signs of rain remaining on them.
But leaving that aside, I was feeling a bit… no, I was extrely nervous. To be perfectly honest, I was scared. I began to regret that I had so nonchalantly agreed to co with the others, but at the sa ti, I felt disgusted at myself for my unfriendliness, and I wanted to cry. I'm different from Maaya, who can open her heart to practically anybody within three minutes. Stepdad's mother seed like a genuinely nice person, and she was smiling throughout my introduction, but I still can't fight this sense of nervousness assaulting . From the sliding screen to the left of us, I heard loud banter.
"My, my, they're awfully lively today." Stepdad's mother said, opening the sliding screen.
There were several people sitting around a table in the large Japanese-style room. t with the pressure emitted by them, I took a step backward.
"Taichi is here."
"Oh! Finally! It must have been a long drive from Tokyo."
An elderly man with white hair responded and stood up. He's probably Stepdad's father. And to , he's my step-grandfather.
"It's been a while, Akiko-san. Are you doing well?"
"Yes. It's nice to see you again, Father-in-law." Mom lowered her head, which caused all of the gazes in the room to focus on her, and soon they moved to .
Since even I could tell it wasn't 100% welcoming feelings that were packed into this gaze, I felt my heart growing heavy. I don't think they hold any particular resentnt toward us, but it was more like they didn't know how to interact with us.
"Yes, yes. Let's leave the introductions for later. I'm sure they must be tired, so I'll show them to their rooms." Stepdad's grandmother said and let us escape.
She pushed the sliding screen shut again, cutting off all the gazes from the inside, which let breathe in peace again. The fists I had ford in fear started to relax, too. But still, they felt very sweaty. I was feeling sick, like I was about to throw up. Is this how every person feels when they et the family of their marriage partner, especially if it's a remarriage? Maybe my armant was a bit too much in a place like this. I took a deep breath and wondered if I should have dyed my hair black for at least these few days. Maybe I'm thinking about it too much.
In the end, high school students like us are allowed to act this way. The sa goes for university students. If you reach this sort of age, wearing makeup, accessories, and these sorts of things is perfectly normal. Since even Suisei High allows this, it should be normal in today's day and age—is what I would like to think, but the sheer pressure of everyone's gazes caused to falter. I took another deep breath. Calm down. I didn't co here to fight.
We would all be staying in a room of around 13 square ters in size. Seeing the four separate futons in the corner made realize that we'd all be sleeping in the sa room. Basically, Asamura-kun and I would be sleeping much closer than usual. I an, our parents will be with us, but still… Wait, that ans he'll see my sleeping face when I get up in the morning, and even my position when I sleep? Do they… really only have this room?
"I'm sorry we couldn't find more rooms for your children this year, the thing is—"
Yep, this was the only room. While I was thinking this, the sliding screen to our room was pushed to the side. A man and woman entered, both of them looking around 25 to 26 years old. I imdiately guessed that they were a couple. The woman was constantly looking at the man, after all. Asamura-kun called him "Kousuke-san." He is Asamura-kun's cousin and 8 years older… which ans he's 25. Yep, just as I guessed. And the woman standing next to him said that the two had gotten married recently.
"Oh, really?! Congratulations, Kousuke-kun!" Stepdad was beaming with joy.
anwhile, Asamura-kun stared at them in disbelief, his mouth open. He's definitely surprised by this. Maybe this is the first ti he even found out that his cousin was dating soone. anwhile, Stepdad introduced Mom to them, and I said my na s well.
"So, you've got a younger sister now, Yuuta?"
"Ah, yes."
"Oh, huh. I thought you'd gotten married, too." He spoke with a teasing tone, so he probably knew that I was Asamura-kun's step-sister the mont he stepped into the room.
"There's no way. I'm still in high school." Asamura-kun returned with a calm tone, but I could tell that deep inside, he was definitely panicking.
After we moved the luggage into the corner of the room, Stepdad and Mom went over to our other relatives. Left behind, Asamura-kun and I talked with the other two—Kousuke-san and Nagisa-san. They had gotten to know each other from the sa friend group in university. They started dating ages ago, but they're still as lively as newlyweds. They also explained the reason they had handed in the marriage form before holding a proper ceremony.
Naly, the fact that Kousuke-san will be moving overseas for his job. And Nagisa-san decided to follow him. That's why they wouldn't be having the ceremony yet. Or rather, that they wouldn't make it in ti before they left. Honestly, I realized I was underestimating what it ant to hold a marriage ceremony. To think you'd have to start looking for a venue half a year prior. Getting married in itself sounds like a lot of trouble.
Plus, I never would have imagined myself wanting to hold a marriage ceremony at one point. The man and woman in front of had begun walking the path of life only a few years earlier than I. It was definitely possible that my life could take a similar path to theirs. And although I wanted to ask a lot more questions, Asamura-kun's younger cousins arrived. They were a brother and sister, both in grade school. They had bright-colored hair and cute facial features. It felt like they could brighten up the room with just a smile. They seed fairly clingy with Asamura-kun, hanging off of him as they asked to play together, and Asamura-kun gladly accepted the offer.
It was decided that we'd be playing gas, so we moved to a room with a TV. Kousuke-san and Nagisa-san went back to the other adults, and we stayed here with the children. Watching all of this unfold, I had to admire Asamura-kun once more. Seeing him handle the young children so well made think of him like a young father. For a mont, I wondered if he'd be this kind of a father if he ever had children, but I then shook my head in a panic because I was clearly jumping the gun here. First of all, you can't beco a father all on your own. You can't have children as a single man. For that, you would need a wife, and—Wait. Again, I'm thinking too far into the future.
As it turns out, the two children were pretty good at playing gas. Since the last ti I had played any gas was back when Maaya ca to visit, it went pretty much how I would have expected, but I've got a pretty bad sense when it cos to gas. In the ga in question, we were small cooks who were grilling at, cutting vegetables, swinging around pots and frying pans and cleaning the dishes. In reality, I had repeated these simple acts over and over, but with a small controller, I couldn't get a good feeling for it. In the end, my at caught on fire and burned down the whole kitchen.
"Ahhhhh!"
"A-chan, are you bad at cooking?"
Words sharp like an arrow stabbed right where it hurt. I felt myself close to tearing up. I knew I shouldn't be so sensitive when it ca to what young children like them said. When I looked at Asamura-kun, he was just smiling and nodding.
"Hey, now, Mika. Ayase-san is a great cook. This is just because it's a ga. But we can clear it next ti. Right, Ayase-san?"
"You don't have to protect my pride like that. That just hurts even more."
Realizing that this was all because I couldn't deal with young children frustrated even more. But I just don't know what to do, so I can't help it. I'd have a much easier ti dealing with adults. I just can't handle kids. Sitting here made feel like I'd rather be going through another lecture by Assistant Professor Kudou. I reminisced about the ti I was the sa age as these two. At that ti, I thought that every adult other than my mother was an enemy. Just imagining how the past would think if she saw like this makes feel terrified.
Since I've seen the bad side of adults, I have no confidence that I actually seem like an adult in their eyes. Baseless assumptions that they hated and whatnot started to fill my mind instead. When we were called in for dinner, I was already ntally exhausted. And yet this was where the real fight would begin. When we're all sitting together, I'll have to introduce myself to our new relatives, alongside Mom. It made realize that marrying soone ans that you have to deal with their relatives and other children, sothing completely different from just studying or talking about fashion.
Sitting in the large banquet hall of the Asamura Family, I once again introduced myself. After that, all of the other relatives did the sa. But I'm sorry, I can't rember anything after that. By the ti I was getting sleepy because I had eaten too much—
"Should we head out now?" Stepdad's father said and everyone stood up at the sa ti.
They talked about visiting the shrine. Asamura-kun explained that it'd be fine for to stay here if I was feeling sleepy, but there was no way I'd stay in this huge of a house all by myself.
"…I'm going." I responded briefly and followed after Asamura-kun.
I'm glad he's here with . Mom is way too busy staying around Stepdad and the other relatives and has no ti to even look at . I don't want to drag her down just because I don't feel too secure here. If not for him, I probably would have holed myself up in my room. Really, I'm so glad he's here.
The shrine we headed to was located deep in the mountains. Or up the mountain, depending on how you'd like to phrase it. Not to ntion that it would take a whole two kiloters of walking to reach that place. Can you imagine how long that would take? But I also didn't want to wait for them to co back in the car. Plus—
"Well, let know if it gets too much. Next ti, we can let you wait."
He probably said it without aning too much by it, but I was happy. He was saying that we would co here again next year. I understand that he said that because he cared about , but he was ready to leave behind. I understood that two kiloters were nothing to scoff at, but once we actually started walking, it beca pretty fun. I've always enjoyed looking at antiques and older buildings. I may not be as passionate as so kind of history buff, but indulging in a building's past has always been interesting to . Not to ntion that the winter scenery at night and the various parts of the shrine made excited, too. Plus, talking with Asamura-kun about it helped cheer up.
"It's just like how you're interested in how an old building ended up in its current state, yeah?"
Being told that by Asamura-kun made gasp. I've never once looked at myself from such an objective perspective. Humans can't normally observe their own appearances. And maybe I never totally understood what kind of person I truly was. Maybe I could never truly see myself because of the armant I wore. If so, then keeping it at a moderate defensive level should be fine, right? How would I know if my armant hadn't turned into the skin of a hedgehog? I just don't want to get hurt. This doesn't an I'm fine hurting others.
I think it took us around 40 minutes of walking one way. On the way there, it passed midnight, and we were greeted by the new year. Reaching the offerings box, we threw our change inside and put our hands together. Closing my eyes, the mories of the past year flew around inside my head. The mories of the last few months were especially prominent. Back in June, Mom and I moved in with Asamura-kun and his father. After eting him, my way of life drastically changed. My father had left an imnsely negative impression on when it ca to n. I didn't want them to have any control over or my life. I did my best at school to be able to live independently and live on my own two feet, but I also didn't want people to see as so studying addict who could only do that.
Thinking back on it now, the offer of an exchange I made towards Asamura-kun was one of the most embarrassing things I had ever done, even if I did it in order to not have any debts I owe to other people, and to not have to rely on another man. That's why I made that bet with my body on the line. And yet Asamura-kun scolded . I think it started back then… I had begun chasing after his shadow.
I chose to work at the sa bookstore as Asamura-kun did, realized that I held romantic feelings for him, and still opted to lock these away and call him Nii-san. Standing here, it makes sense. It may have looked like I was choosing my own future for myself, but in the end, it all reverted back to him. On the day of the open campus when I t Kudou-sensei, she told that being too narrow with my field of view would be the enemy of all reason and wisdom. She argued that I should keep an eye open for other n—And yet, Asamura-kun suddenly confessed to .
That's why we both agreed to be friendly siblings who are on good terms. And that we would allow anything that would fall under that idea. We adjusted to each other and decided that we would suppress our feelings of wanting to cross that line.
After we finished our prayer, Asamura-kun spoke up. "What did you wish for?"
"I was too busy thinking about everything that happened this year. I didn't have ti to wish for anything."
"Sa here," Asamura-kun let out a snicker.
Looking at his eyes, he gave off the impression that he had organized his thoughts and feelings, the light in his eyes making it seem like he was feeling refreshed. When he shows that kind of expression, it makes realize… Realize that I like him.
Asamura-kun said that there would be a "next ti." So that's what I'll wish for. I hope that I can co here again with Asamura-kun next year.
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