DEMI
I spent the better part of my day scrolling through my phone, my thumb dragging across the screen. Photos. ssages. Call logs. A whole world and a whole life I don’t recognize. It’s insane how much a phone reveals about a person, but with every swipe or scroll, all I see is the fragnts of Demi’s life; the Demi everyone misses, not .
A part of has been fighting to accept the fact that I have lost a good dose of my mories, and that before that, I was a completely different woman from anything I could have ever pictured for my life.
I’ve been going crazy wondering how I went from being the determined teenager who planned a five-years long, watertight revenge plot in honor of her murdered folks to locking lips and sharing a last na with my sworn enemies.
How the hell did I get to that point? Who else, besides myself, do I have a right to bla for the huge disappointing change of plans?
I whip my head at the sound of the doorbell. Absentmindedly, my fingers turn to ice as they reach to tighten around the couch. Anna gets the door and when it swings open, a man is behind it.
I instantly register the familiar features of his face as being family; uncle Marcel. Yet, I feel no warmth or comfort even from the pitiful glance he throws my way.
Though Anna has been trying to convince that my uncle has been present in my life lately, even participated in so of the recent decisions I made before my accident, I can’t seem to shake off the awkwardness that cos with seeing a distant relative for the first ti in a long while, which is exactly where my mory is at.
"Demi?" He calls softly before taking cautious steps towards . His eyes bloom with equal parts pity and fear. I hate how everyone seems to have the sa reaction around , like I am as brittle as glass.
I let him wrap his steady arms around for a whole minute, while my own hands stay frozen at my sides. I don’t realize I am holding my breath until he eases back to get a good look at .
"How do you feel, my dear? Are you hurting anywhere?"
"No," I lie. The truth is, I feel everything and yet nothing all at once.
I don’t miss how his gaze flickers to Anna hovering by the door, both of them watching like I’m porcelain about to shatter. My teeth grind. "I’m fine," I repeat, harsher this ti even though I don’t believe it myself.
Unconsciously, I tuck my hands defensively across my chest and mumble in my head, I’d appreciate it if you guys start believing when I say that. It’s bad enough that I am having an existential crisis. The last thing I need is their doubtful gaze making feel like I belong in a hospital room.
I find my uncle’s face and our eyes hold. He proceeds to express his relief over my safety and to assure of full recovery in no ti. All the while, my rage simrs. Unable to hold back, the words finally spill from , sharp and trembling.
"Why didn’t you stop it? Why did you let marry into that family? You knew what they did to my parents. You knew who they were." My voice cracks, splintering into sothing ugly. "Yet, you watched betray my parents like that?"
Tears sting my eyes. "Why did you watch it all happen without bothering to talk so sense into your niece?"
He sinks into the nearest couch and sighs deeply. "Demi, regret won’t do you much good right now."
I can’t believe him. "What? Is that all you have to say to ?"
"No." His jaw tightens. "There’s so much more I could say to you right now, Demi. I could tell you how much I panicked and refused to believe it, how much I wanted to tear you away from them because I was terrified for you. That I—" He cuts himself short, his gaze dropping. "But none of that matters now. The truth is, you made choices. And whether you rember them or not, they weren’t all mistakes."
"Mistake?" My throat burns. "Forgiving the people who murdered my parents? Falling in love with their son? You’re right. It wasn’t a mistake; it was a sin!" I cradle my head in my hands as a wave of nausea and disgust hit . "I am so ashad of myself. I could never forgive myself for betraying my parents like that."
"Demi..."
"No." I stop him from touching with a blistering look. I need to endure this pain. I need to absorb this bla. This remorse is the only thing dissuading from running into an oncoming vehicle and ending it all. Lord knows death feels better than the guilt clogging my throat.
His lips press into a thin line, his eyes unreadable. "Look kid, you’ll understand everything in due ti but for now, please don’t let your anger devour you again. That’s where it started last ti. That’s what you were fighting against before—"
"Before I lost myself?" I snap. "Or before I lost my parents all over again?"
"You lost your parents when you started turning into a spun of Brett Rollins under the guise of revenge!" Anna blurts out to my face. My eyes narrow to slits at her rude intrusion in my family matter but she remains unfazed by my death stare, walking up to my face. "Yes, there were days when even I didn’t recognize the things you were willing to do just to exact your revenge. Your moral lines were starting to blur, Demi. Do you rember why I swore to help you expose your parents’ killers? Because you promised to do let justice take its course. You promised not to beco THEM!"
She dabs her eyes. "But slowly, you started becoming like them to the point where we weren’t sure who the true villain was anymore. That’s when you chose to pull the plug." She takes my hands. "You stopped before the hatred could consu you. You did it for your parents, because they wouldn’t have approved of the woman you were becoming in the na of revenge."
"She’s right." Uncle Marcel chirps in. "She never left your side." He thanks Anna with a subtle nod. "I am grateful that you t such a lovely friend in this town. I don’t know what would have beco of you if you didn’t have this human compass to steer you right."
I grit my teeth while struggling to digest everything. Hard as I try, the doubts continue to trickle in, dotting every word I hear. Did Anna really support my revenge or she talked into letting the Rollins family off the hook because of her crush on the quads?
I press my eyes shut and bite my lips. I have to get it together but I really don’t know what to believe. My head demands that I take everything they’re saying with a pinch of salt but a small part of my heart nudges to trust them.
I’m really scared. I don’t know what to make of this version of my reality, hence my distrust. I don’t want to play into the hands of my enemies. What if my mory loss is the universe giving a second shot at fulfilling the promise I made to my late parents, to correct the egregious sins I made in the past like marrying into the Rollins family?
Then my heart goes, what if it’s a fresh start to lead with love and forgiveness in spite of the pain and anger? What if this is the true test of character?
Anna’s gentle hand on my shoulder startles out of my chaotic thoughts. Her eyes are blurred with tears, and sad.
"We’ve been through so much together, Demi. We’re the sisters we never had, rember? I could NEVER..."
Her voice falters a mont, and in that crack, sothing familiar spurs to pull her in for a hug. Together, we cry on each other’s shoulders like little girls. I might not be sure of a lot of things but this mont right here feels pure. I know I can be my vulnerable self for the brief ti we spend wrapped in each other’s arms.
She pulls back and wipes my tears with her sleeves. "I wouldn’t betray you. That would be like betraying my own blood."
I bob my head in agreent.
"So, trust ...trust us" she corrects herself glancing at my uncle. "Things are way different than you rember right now. I’ll tell you everything you need to know about anyone you’re curious about. I’ll explain every article online, why so old friends turned foes and how old enemies beca friends...even lovers." Her eyes drift to the door and I follow them.
One of the Rollins quads is standing there.
***
Long after my uncle and Anna leave to give us so privacy, our guest lingers by the door for a heartbeat. Finally, he crosses the room, his steps deliberate but hesitant. We sit in silence while I anxiously dry my eyes to distract myself from a face I grew up loathing.
I keep rifling across my scanty mory to find sothing about this guy beyond what I rember but no matter how much his na bounces in my head, I still draw blanks.
"It’s okay," he says gently. "If this is too much, I can leave." The way he says it—soft, patient, like he’s handled broken before—pulls sothing in I can’t na. And as much as I wish the quads would give so space to figure myself out, I am equally as determined to know just what yesterday’s Demi saw that made her botch her perfect revenge plan.
"Wait." My voice cos out raw. "I’m fine. I swallow hard. "I was just having a mont."
Without looking up, I gesture him back to his seat which he drops back in. For the first ti, I look at his face properly.
I’d give it to them; the quads are a work of art but true pride blooms inside when the flicker of physical admiration disappears in seconds. I’d hate myself if I was srized.
"How do you feel?"
"Fine." I bite out, sharper than intended. Then hate myself for feeling a misplaced sense of guilt. "I ant...I feel much better."
"I’m glad to hear that."
"You’re.."
"Ashton." He supplies, pre-empting my question.
Great. The one I am supposed to be in love with. I draw in a sharp breath as the awkwardness sits in the air.
"What....what was the last thing we spoke about before...before my accident?" He goes still. I literally feel the tension radiating from him.
"Um...there were a couple things, like my brother, Ashal. We also talked about...us."
I don’t look up when he pauses after that admission but my head snaps at the next line. "We...we also spoke about your mother." I feel him struggling with that.
"What about my mother?"
He grinds his teeth. "We can discuss it in detail later but not before doctor Ezra examines you. I don’t want to tow any line that could potentially worsen your condition"
I swallow the burning questions on my tongue and dip my eyes. "So, what can you safely tell that I don’t rember?"
The silence is a tad thicker than the emotion that engulfs his eyes.
"How much I love you."
My eyes widen in their sockets. Dreadful of where this might go, I move to change the topic.
"Look, I know we are supposed to be..." the words feel like lead on my tongue. "I an, you and I..."
"Right."
"I just...I don’t rember any of that."
"I understand. It’s not your fault."
I exhale deeply. "I need ti...lots of it to piece my mory together." I tell him bluntly. "Your doctor, can he really help ?"
Ashton bobs his head. "Doctor Ezra doesn’t work miracles but he cos pretty damn close."
"Fine. I’ll see him."
"Thank you." Before he can stop himself, he surges to his feet and presses a simple kiss on my forehead. "I’ll make an appointnt." Then with eyes laden with hope, "Everything will be alright, Demi. We always manage to overco the curveballs life throws at us. This won’t be any different."
With a benign smile, he shuffles out, leaving my jaw hanging open. I stare at the door and feel a dull ache when the hum of his car grows distant.
Maybe I can sense that Ashton and I did have a connection before my accident caused a factory reset. But rather than feeling butterflies, or giddy, all I feel is fear.
Not the fear of falling for him again and repeating the sa sin I already committed. Not the fear of ruining sothing beautiful with Ashton like everyone around believes we had. No, the fear is a little different.
"Are you okay?" Uncle Marcel asks, cutting off my thought train.
I feign a smile and nod. "I agreed to see the doctor."
Anna lets out a sigh of relief while my uncle beams at .
"That’s really good." He tells . While they trade cheerful glances, I wring my hands and turn away to hide the stray tear rolling down my cheek. The fear stares right in the face.
What if I don’t want to regain my mories and beco the old Demi they all love? What if I am happy rewriting my story a little differently this ti, free from all their expectations? Will they be prepared to forget the old Demi and accept the new instead?
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