Chapter 48 - The Reason
Jeremy reminisced that day. He didn't have strong feelings of guilt and fear anymore. His mom helped him get the necessary help. But he did feel grief...
The grief of losing a friend.
Alexei was a couple years older than him and he was very brave and smart. He hatched the escape plan by getting to the control room and inform soone through the radio that they were kidnapped. Mikhail was a couple years young and all he did was cry. The three boys escaped the containnt area sohow and they reached the control room.
They managed to barely escape... except Alexei.....
Jeremy fisted his hand. It was tough to deal with survivor's guilt. He couldn't even et Mikhail for years. Mikhail was affected greatly, but with the help of professionals and a lot of reflection, they got over it. The wound is healed, but still, the scar remains.
Jeremy heard the shaking voice of Jerlina and looked at her. He didn't know what he should do with her. Those eyes... She would be justified if those eyes carried happiness knowing that he suffered. But no... they were filled with care; genuine care.
He won't misunderstand. He knows she still hates him. But even so, she cannot get happy for his suffering.
This woman... How can I not fall for her?
"Ransom? No," he gave a wry smile, "They said my blue eyes will fetch more money... We were to be sold as slaves... s*x slaves to be precise..."
He said bluntly. Looking at her, he realized why he got a panic attack suddenly and he reached a decision.
Jerlina felt a shiver pass through her spine hearing him.
What kind of world am I living in?
She bowed her head. She really was glad he escaped that terrible fate. But that doesn't an others did. The world is cruel and filled with malice. Out of greed, humans hurt other humans although they have nothing against them.
"The world is not fair, Jerlina," he said and she looked at him. "You might think no one will want you dead because you can't find a reason, but sh!t happens. Most tis it happens for no reason at all. The threat to your life is real. In fact, it is so real, that Cooper had to break up with you," he stood up with a sigh.
He knew he needed to tell her the truth... For him and for her.
His sudden panic attack stemd from his grief. The grief of losing his friends. His mother, Alexei, Dave, others... They all were close to his heart. He lost them and was able to survive sohow.
But he didn't want to lose Jerlina who is his heart. He won't be able to function if it happens.
Yes, he can protect her. But if she doesn't even believe she is in danger and doesn't have the will to live, no one can help her.
So for his sake and hers, she should survive.
For that, he will do anything. Even if it ans he has to stay away. It doesn't matter if she warms up to him, what matters is her survival.
He can never stop loving her and wanting her, but he can step back like he did till so months ago.
She is his wife in his heart forever, no matter what the piece of governnt-issued paper says. But she doesn't have to be his, and she doesn't even have to know what he truly feels.
And he could ask one more person to reiterate the threat she faces. Even if she doesn't believe him, she will believe that person.
Jerlina gasped and looked at him and her heart raced. "What do you an?"
"Gerard Cooper ca to the day before I got you. In exchange for protecting you, he offered to marry Emma who was forced into an arranged marriage to a junkie by her parents. It is a contractual marriage between Emma and him. The reason I married you is that there is a deal among us gang-leaders not to hurt the families. Our marriage is your ultimate protection. Once the threat on you is taken care of..."
His head felt heavy and his throat went dry. Fisting his hands, he continued, clearing his throat.
"I will annul our marriage, so you won't be a divorcee. Cooper and Emma will file for divorce in a year and once that is settled, you can... you can be with him. So until then, bear with living here. There are a lot of people who love you and wish for your well-being. For their sake, don't give up on your life. Don't say you'd rather die. Live well, Jerlina. You have a lot to live for."
Jerlina watched him walking out and she was too stunned to say anything. He said everything as if he was reading a news article, but for her, there was a lot to process. Tears started dripping down her face and she buried her face in her knees hugging herself.
"I'll ask Bobby to fix a door chain for your bedroom door. You don't have to hide under the bed fearing I might enter your room," he stepped out of the room and closed the door softly.
His eyes clouded and his head felt so heavy, he felt like the world is spinning.
"Jerry!" he heard Bobby and he held his arm. "Are you okay..? Holy f*ck, you're burning!"
"I'll be fine after sleeping. Fix a door chain in her room, imdiately," he got his arm out of his grip and staggered towards his room.
"I'll get you pills, Jerry...wait!"
He ignored Bobby. He doesn't like pills anyway. The rug in his room had that woman's blood and he rolled it and threw it out. Getting out of his clothes, he plopped on the bed.
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Bobby rubbed his heart seeing the closed room to his side. When Jerry said he is married to Jerlina, he thought sohow he got the heart of the woman he longed for years. But to have a door chain to his wife's bedroom...
Ah, Jerry... When will you get the happiness you deserve?
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Jerlina was in deep thoughts. She was shocked at first with everything TJ said and it took so ti for her to register everything.
Gerard broke up with to leave with TJ? He knew how terrified I was of TJ. With no heads-up, he left with TJ?
Emma married Gerard to stop her arranged marriage? Then what about the threats she gave Gerard? And why did she co to and brag the day of her wedding if she entered the marriage with divorce in mind?
And TJ... Is he lying or is he actually believing that Emma had no way to stop her "arranged marriage" if it actually was forced on her, other than by marrying soone else's boyfriend? And why would Gerard break up with for TJ to protect ?
So Gerard agreed that TJ will have to marry to "protect" ?
It broke her heart. Even to protect her, how could he leave her and marry another woman and let another man marry her? She was with his child at that ti!
How could he even co up with this cringe-worthy plan? Who gave him that right to decide on my behalf?
Those two made a deal to "protect" ? Am I a thing? Do I not have my own free will? Did Gerard think that he owns ?
Why did no one tell anything about this till now? If Emma and Gerry is having a contractual marriage and I was held to be protected, why wasn't I told?
I lost my child! Had I known...
She was filled with anger. She knew the reason TJ told her is not the actual reason since it seed shallow and full of holes. But she started believing that her life might be in danger.
Her thoughts were disturbed by the noise at her door. She got up and walked to the door. Bobby was fixing the lock to her door and she was surprised TJ kept his word. She did think she'll be comfortable with that lock and she didn't stop him.
Suddenly she had an idea.
"Bobby...how long are you with TJ?" she asked.
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