Chapter 22 - His Decision Moving Forward
"Let go! You aren't even holding it right!"
Jerlina felt her wrist getting gripped hard and she couldn't hold on to the scissors anymore. With a clink, the scissors fell on the floor and she tried to struggle out of his grip. But she ended up tripping on his legs.
"You're such a..."
Jeremy held the back of her head with one hand to keep it from getting hit on the floor, and his other hand pushed against the floor to stop him from crashing into her petite body as both of them fell on the floor due to her struggle.
Her face was just inches from his face and her eyes that were red with anger and tears looked straight at his. This is the first ti he's gotten this close to her while he looked straight at his eyes, and it made his heartbeat go berserk.
His chest was pressed on hers and he could feel her heart pounding against his. And he had a feeling it is not for the sa reason as his.
He wanted to explain to her that he truly doesn't hate her and in fact, it is the opposite.
"I don't despise you," he said and she rolled her eyes with a mocking laugh. A gush of her breath fell on his lips making him feel all weird all over his body.
It hurt him to see her disbelief. He would do anything to prove to her that he loves her. His inability to express himself made him feel more despaired.
"And, I... couldn't take everything from you..."
Your heart...I'll never get it, will I?
No matter how much he tries, he fails... He failed in the past and even now after everything that happened between them, he knew it is next to impossible for her to give her heart to him.
"Do you want the company? I'll give it to you or your sister if you prefer. I won't even et Gerard ever again. I'll give up my love. Just let go. I'll beg on the streets to survive and you can laugh at with your sister all you want."
She grabbed his collar out of excitent. That is the only thing that she has left and she thought she can do a trade.
Otherwise, she didn't understand what else he could take from her. He shows himself as he wants to see her alive and suffering. She has already lost her baby and her boyfriend is already married and she is not stupid to pine for him even after that. It would hurt, but it is doable.
She wasn't even surprised by him professing his disappointnt that he hasn't taken everything from her yet. She knew he wants her to suffer.
So this should suffice, right?
The house she inherited from her mother's side is also there. She wondered if he investigated and found out about it already.
Should I add it to the table for negotiation?
"That guy... I won't let him near you even if you want to..." His voice went deep making Jerlina shudder in her heart.
Maybe I shouldn't talk about Gerard again.
Jeremy saw her widened eyes and imdiately cald himself down. He really didn't want to talk about that guy and spoil his mood.
"Your company?" Jeremy held her hand grabbing his collar. In his big coarse hands, her hands were so small and softer than his huskies' paws. And the position they were lying in was so intimate and her soft hands grazing his neck made him think another kind of fun stuff they could do.
He saw nothing but fear and resentnt in her eyes till then and now she looked excited. He couldn't understand why she thinks that his sister wants to see her suffer when all she wants is the safety of her old friend.
But she raises a good point... Her company... He didn't think about her little company till then.
Maybe I should..!
She says she has nothing to protect. He could see when she said that she would rather die on her feet that she has lost her will to live. He understood because he was in the sa place she is now, a little more than ten years ago when he t her.
'Don't kill, don't die. Live, Joel...' she said, sitting on the rock behind the pub, 'Live proudly and work hard. Don't bow your head unless you're in the wrong. Show the ones who patronize you and treat you with contempt that you are better than them - with your success.
Nothing will blacken their face better than your success. I promise you, you will see them acting sycophantic with you after you succeed as if they always knew you'd beco great, but they'll lt inside with jealousy. It would be worth it to bear every struggle you face now, knowing you'll watch them squirm in their heart in the future.'
He didn't know how soone had such wisdom at that young age. He told her his na and she insisted on calling him 'Joel'. He was besotted with her just at that mont she called her 'Joel' because his mother used to call him with his middle na too.
She was wearing thick makeup that didn't suit her, was wearing a tank top shirt, a mini-skirt, and boots. She got drunk as a skunk with just a bottle of beer. At first, he thought she was like the other girls around, but as he talked to her, he realized she is a gem.
He opened up to her and she listened to him. Then she advised him like an old grandpa, spilling beer all over her, holding the next bottle of beer.
And then... It happened.
He had never t a cute girl like her ever in his twenty-one years of living.
Cute, insanely smart, assertive, and strong!
That was the most amazing night of his life.
He did find her advice smart and feasible for him. Under the bright moonlight that night, the him who was struggling in the deep sea without direction found her brighter than the moon above as she guided him to the shore.
He followed her advice and worked the best as he could... And here he is... at the pinnacle of success.
But she... It was I who ruined her.
She was doing fine until I ca into her life again, wasn't she? But it is fine... Nothing is lost yet! She can do much better.
I'll help her just like she helped .
I ruined her and I'll help her rise above to shine like the moon among the stars.
His heart filled with relief as he ca to this decision. He held her hand and squeezed it on his cheek.
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