Chapter 13 – Florida Man Claims He Deciphers Cat Language
Wu Buyi collected the grasses and trash bin into his spatial ring. Then, he flew away.
After the alchemist had left, Leo giggled as he managed to get 500 years richer. He rushed to the cabin and upgrade five slide-door refrigerator chests. He transferred the regular wolf at into one of them and stored the mutated one in another.
The at storage issue was resolved. Most freezers were now functional, and Leo could start displaying his goodies in the display fridges.
Leo couldn't stop smiling. He danced his way out of the store and returned to the butcher site. However, when Leo got outside, he saw sothing disturbing.
A walking chomper plant was eating one of the wolves.
"Cat" was here.
As soon as Cat noticed Leo's presence, it turned around to greet him.
"ow!"
Leo frowned at it since it was eating his food, "Yo, you silly cat. That's my food though."
"HISS!"
"…"
The chomper hissed as it protested. It continued chewing the wolf, savoring the taste of fresh blood.
Leo gazed at the plant and asured its size with his eyes. Its head was about one ter tall and the length was about the sa. It barely managed to eat the dire wolf whole, and it struggled to chew the hard bones as its teeth were still too soft.
Seeing how it struggled, Leo offered it a deal.
"Look. I know you're hungry, but you're not supposed to steal unprocessed food. If you let process it for you, I'll give you the blood and the soft innards, okay?"
"ow?"
Unable to understand Cat, Leo tried to use the shop domain function if it could translate the owing language.
DING
.
Na: Cat
Age: 0
Remaining Lifespan: 700 Years
.
The system displayed Cat's lifespan, and Leo almost coughed blood, envious of the monster.
"What the hell?! How is your lifespan so long?! Oh, wait. He's a plant, of course."
Leo suddenly had a sick idea. He wondered if he could extract Cat's lifespan, so he tried to steal it.
DING
"Tsk."
He failed. Unless Cat allowed Leo to take his lifespan, he couldn't steal it.
Thus, Leo tried to scam it.
"Hey, kitty cat. Look here."
Leo walked toward one of the wolf cages. He dragged the dog out and grabbed it with his bare hand, causing the dire wolf to swell. It stopped moving, and its soul was Isekaied to the afterworld.
While Cat was busy with the regular wolf, Leo hung the wolf upside down and slit its throat, draining its blood. He also cut its stomach and harvested the internal organs.
Looking at the black heart of the wolf, Leo pursed his lips, wondering why Wu Buyi overreacted because of these unusable parts.
'Co to think of it, what was his job again? He introduced himself as… what? Chemist? No, this is a Wuxia world. Chemists don't exist. What was the term again?'
A long ti passed since Leo last read a novel or watched movies. He tried hard to recall the word. Leo had a feeling that he almost got it, but it got stuck at the back of his head.
Unable to recall the word, Leo deeply sighed. He allocated the intestines to a new bucket, but he kept the fresh heart and liver in another container. Then, he showed Cat the container with the intestines.
"Kitty, those are too hard to chew. How about sothing softer? Oh, it won't be free, of course. I'll need to take so of your lifespans in exchange."
"ow?"
Cat stopped trying to chew a whole wolf. It sniffed and crawled toward the bucket of blood and innards. As soon as one of its roots touched the content, it spat the wolf out and chowed the intestines instead.
Leo shook his head. He walked toward the half-eaten wolf and spat on it.
A few seconds later, the corpse mutated and turned black. Although disgusting, Leo chopped it into smaller pieces for Cat to eat.
Cat finished the bucket of blood and intestine in seconds. It turned around to the half-eaten wolf and discovered the pleasant sll of salty and fishy at.
"OW!"
It humd and shoved the cut pieces into its mouth. Like a glutton cat, it owed while it chewed the precious food.
Not having anything else to do, Leo observed the man-eating plant. He wondered if this guy was worth raising as a lifespan farm.
DING
While staring at Cat, the creature's status changed.
.
Na: Cat
Age: 0
Remaining Lifespan: 2,300 Years
.
"What in the hell?"
Cat's lifespan sharply increased. Leo widened his eyes in astonishnt.
*BURP*
Cat let out so gas and smiled in satisfaction. It then turned to the hanging carcass of another mutated wolf and licked its lips. Then, it crawled toward it, hoping to get more at.
However, Leo stood in front of it. He crossed his arms.
"Kitty, you haven't paid for the al. You need to pay up."
"ow?" It tilted its head. It touched its lips with a big purple leaf.
"What do you an by paying? Of course, your lifespan. You need to transfer so of your lifespans to in exchange for the food. If you don't give lifespan, I can't keep feeding you."
"ow, ow? ow!"
The chomper suddenly smiled. Then, Leo received a ssage.
"OH… HOLD ON A SECOND!! That's too much!"
Instead of being overjoyed, Leo instantly noticed the problem - Cat just gave him all of its lifespans!
The plant rapidly withered. Cat looked exhausted, and its movent speed was as slow as a sloth.
"ow…"
Not allowing Cat to die, Leo grabbed the heart and liver in another bucket. He fed the liver to the plant. He also squeezed the heart like a lemon to give the chomper so more blood.
DING
.
Na: Cat
Age: 0
Remaining Lifespan: 200 Years
.
Cat's roots, leaves, and vines regained their luster. It swallowed the liver and blood as if it had never eaten anything for days.
The plant let out a long sigh of relief. It wearily purred and nudged its head against Leo's stomach.
"You dumb cat. I want your lifespan, but you don't have to give everything! Well, since you already gave a lot, I'll keep feeding you. You don't have to give anything anymore."
"ow?"I think you should take a look at
"Yes, I'm adopting you. You're my cat now."
"ow!" Cat licked Leo's face.
At that mont, Leo realized sothing horrible. Once again, Cat innocently made a huge mistake.
Leo's skin was radioactive and poisonous. Touching him ant instant death or rapid mutation!
'Did it just touch ? Oh, crap! NOOO!! It's going to mutate and die, dammit!''
Leo held in his head in panic and despair.
If Cat ran out of lifespan, Leo could simply replenish it by feeding it the mutated wolf's blood, at, or organs. However, he was helpless when it ca to mutation.
Leo shut his eyes in regret, not wanting to witness the torturous mont of his first pet in 50,000 years.
A minute later, Leo sensed a nudge at the back of his head. A soft head of a plant bonked him.
"ow!"
"…"
"ow, ow!"
"Huh?"
Leo turned around in shock. Then, he found the chomper plant, which looked the sa as he rembered him.
'He is unaffected?'
Leo's trembling hand reached for Cat's head. He gently touched it and slowly stroked it. Surprisingly, the chomper purred.
"…"
No mutation occurred. The chomper plant remained the sa.
"You, you're not affected by my radiation?"
"ow?"
"What is radiation? Dammit, it's poisonous air. If you touch , the radiation poisoning will change your DNA structure and disable your healing abilities! So of your cells will riot and try to French-Revolution you from the inside. In short, all nutrition you have in your blood cells will nourish cancer cells and mutated DNA, turning you into a disfigured monster!"
"ow, ow?"
"HOW DID I KNOW?! Listen here, you little shit. You're looking at the lottery winner from the Fallout world. My DNA structure got reconstructed seven freaking tis. I freaking died and ca back to life seven tis, okay? Let's not make you repeat the torture I went through."
"ow, ow-ow?"
The chomper plant licked Leo's face and nudged its head against his. The latter stopped talking and facepald.
"You're right. I'm an idiot. You're immune to my radiation now because you evolved… DAMMIT, how did I understand your freaking language even though every word sounds the sa?!"
"ow
Reviews
All reviews (0)