Chapter 100 – Florida Man Cleans His Internal Organ Using High-Pressure Water, Suffers Brain Damage
Taxi faintly heard Leo's shout. Although he was interested in an easy job, he was reluctant to get close to the nasty sweet dream mushroom forest.
"Smash D:"
Leo didn't hear the pony's voice, but he took it as a yes. He looked up and calculated his jump. Then, he parkoured out of the hallowed hall and jumped three kiloters.
A second later, Leo appeared in front of Taxi. He grabbed the horn and swung his body on the horseback.
"Whew. I finally get the hang of it. Vertical jump is a lot easier than Spiderman jumps."
However, Leo forgot about one fact. First, his clothes were all burnt, and he was naked. Secondly, his entire body was on fire.
Taxi sensed sothing warm on his back. Although the gasoline fire was nothing to Taxi, he still got annoyed.
"Smash!"
"Yeah, I know. I know. Sorry about the fire. I'll put that out."
Leo patted his head, arms, and legs. As he put his mind to it, a layer of his slightly tanned skin ca off, and a fresh skin layer was regenerated. Still, one part was on fire.
He looked down and found his dangling shlong in super saiyan mode. Seeing the burning chicken, Leo laughed and patted the fire. After it was doused, Leo left a slightly darkened "olo" mark on Taxi's back.
"Hoh, boy. I wish I could show my old friends on Earth. I wish I had a phone to take that picture. It would have been viral on the internet."
Leo laughed as he thought of opening an OnlyFan account to post his videos and pics, such as his thing on fire, on a hot grill, under burning charcoal, and wild stuff. He wondered if those would sell.
"…Smash? >_>"
Taxi's voice woke Leo from his silly daydream. He sighed and stood up. Then, he purchased a new set of clothes so that he wouldn't get ramd by this perverted horse.
After putting on his clothes, Leo asked Taxi again.
"Before you teach how to fly, teach how to use Qi and use the spatial rings in my hand first."
Taxi scoffed, thinking that Leo was joking.
"…Smash?"
"I ain't trolling you. I'm serious."
"Smash?"
"Yes, I can't use Qi or essence whatsoever."
"SMASH?! D::D"
"I see."
Their conversation also didn't make any sense, but they understood each other. Leo took a deep breath and sat cross-legged on Taxi's back. Then, he paced his breaths and closed his eyes.
Taxi respected Leo. He remained quiet and stood still, allowing Leo to ditate and feel the body and the world around him with the sixth sense.
.
"Hmm."
Five minutes later, Leo opened his eyes. He tilted his head in confusion and looked at his fingertip.
From Taxi's instruction, he simply needed to feel the energy flow inside his body, aka the mild electricity in his body first. Then, he could start manipulating them.
This thod always increased one's tabolism and burned one's excess fat. However, it also exhausted the cultivator as it depleted the person's calories at a rapid rate.
However, Leo's physique was different from ordinary humans and cultivators. He was a living embodint of evolved cancer cells. Each singular cell in his body collected a vast amount of elent essence that surpassed what a quasi-immortal could do.
Leo raised his index finger up and commanded his cancer cells to send the smallest amount of their Qi to his fingertip.
PIKII think you should take a look at
An electric spark ca out from Leo's fingertip. However, unexpected things happened.
VROOM
A fiery fla shot out from Leo's fingertip. Then, water splashed ca out. When the fire and water t, they evaporated each other, causing a thick white smoke. The index finger also hardened as a rock while his fingernail transford into a tal plate, growing and extending one ter at once. Leaves and tree branches also grew from the tal fingernail and released poison gas from the leaves.
Looking at the chaos, Leo deeply sighed. It was difficult to adjust the power output as his blood cells had a mind of their own. He felt like he was trying to order feral cats to give him a paw.
"I guess I have to COMMUNICATE with my damn cancer cells. Haiya. My life is so complicated. My blood cells don't really listen to ."
Leo pulled the tal nail off his finger. Then, he tried again. This ti, he ordered the blood cells not to release any elent Qi or essence. Instead, he wanted them to use their unwanted Qi or impure Qi.
The decision was a mistake.
RUMBLE
Leo's aura turned black. He began sweating, releasing dark fluid from his orifices and pores.
"SMASH?!!"
Taxi was shocked. He shook his back and kicked Leo away from him. His hind legs smacked Leo's face and chest.
Leo was unhard. The panicking kick of a 9th-rank monster was harmless to him.
While being covered in black fluid from his body, Leo sniffed his armpits. His face distorted in disgust as the sll was worse than wet rotten corpses.
"What the hell?"
His cancer cells didn't stop releasing the black Qi and the impurity in his body. His overall muscle mass decreased by 10%, and he lost a lot of fluid in his body.
BOOM
Leo safely landed on the ground after a long fall. He grumbled and pointed his finger into his mouth.
"Cancer cells, create so water. I'm thirsty as hell."
*SPLASH*
Because of the excessive water essence and power, Leo ended up creating a high-pressure water jet. The strong force of water sent a bullet-like stream into his mouth.
Leo pointed his finger away and coughed. So of the water got into his lungs and got pushed back to his nostrils, burning his nasal passages.
The body instantly digested the water and washed his blood cells. Leo's muscles were slightly bloated, reverting back to his usual size. A few seconds later, they shrunk as the cancer cells continued to remove the impurity from his body.
Leo gritted his teeth and ordered his finger to decrease the water pressure. He then pointed his fingertip at his mouth, drinking more water.
As if Leo was cleaning himself with a water pressure machine, small streams of dark water ca out from a thousand of his arms, legs, torso, and even his ears.
After circulating enough water, the dirty fluid got lighter, and his aura brightened.
Leo stopped drinking water as overdrinking made him dizzy. He had a headache as too much water entered his brain. He rubbed his forehead and sat on the wet mud. Then, he looked at the mushroom forest around him.
SIZZLE
Strangely, the mushrooms around Leo turned black and died. When the black fluid of Leo entered the soil and touched the underground roots of the other mushrooms, they also withered and died.
In seconds, all mushrooms in a square kiloter turned black and stopped multiplying.
Leo quietly looked at the carnage that he had caused. He scratched his head.
"Welp. I guess my damn sweat is too toxic for zombie mushrooms. But damn! My sweat slls!"
Leo sighed and removed the dirty wet clothes. Since it cost only 3 years of lifespan, Leo didn't mind discarding them. He purchased a clean towel to clean himself.
After drying his body, Leo reattempted the cultivation thod. He tried again.
"Use less force, my cells. No, only one cell should be using your force. No one else interferes or joins in! USE THE TINIEST AMOUNT IF YOU CAN!"
One of Leo's cancer cells reacted while the others were busy absorbing fresh Qi from the environnt around him that the mushrooms had released.
This ti, Leo sensed a strand of invisible energy, running through the palm of his left hand to his index finger. The energy exited his finger through the nail and ca out, but the string was still attached to the body.
Leo moved his finger around. He felt like he had a parasite worm coming out from his fingertip, but he couldn't see it. However, he knew it was there.
"Is this Qi that those cultivators work so hard to get?"
Leo was amused. He opened his right hand, where he had kept five spatial rings of Situ Nantian. Then, he tried injecting the Qi string into one of the rings.
As soon as the Qi string entered the ring's jewel, Leo received feedback from the energy string. He vaguely sensed a maze, made from water. It shot water energy at his Qi string.
When the Qi string was soaked in the water, it devoured them as it still had the characteristics of Leo's cancer cells. The thread got bigger, and it transferred so of the energy back to Leo's body.
Sensing the energy entering his body, Leo raised his eyebrows.
"Oh, is this how they cultivate? Do cultivators absorb Qi like this?"
Obviously, cultivators never attempted this thod. Taxi also never practiced this. Only Leo's cancer cells could do it.
CLICK
When the water Qi in the ring was emptied, it was unlocked. The Qi string Leo got inside the massive cubic room of the spatial ring, and Leo could vaguely sense countless objects in the cube.
"OOOOHHH!! THIS IS IT!"
Finally, Leo managed to access a spatial ring for the first ti.
One small step for a cultivator, one giant leap for Florida Man!
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