Chapter 181 Opening up
"How are you feeling?" Liam asked softly as he gave Ying Sheng a painkiller.
Ying Sheng looked up and shot him a grateful look.
"Hmm...okay." Ying Sheng sniffled as she mumbled.
"O-okay." Liam said as he rubbed the back of his neck. He didn't want to ask her questions since she just broke down. He was afraid he would trigger anything.
But he really wanted to know. Liam knew her parents had sothing to do with this.
What did they say to break her down like this?
"Do you want to take a shower and sleep?"
Liam asked as the silence between them was torturing.
Ying Sheng shook her head.
"I-I... don't you want to know why….I tried killing myself?"
Liam froze for a second before he nodded his head.
"I do want to know but I'm afraid... you would feel uncomfortable talking about it."
Ying Sheng shook head as she played with her fingers. Her shoulders slumped in defeat as she tried to fight the tears that were threatening to co.
"When I got to the restaurant my mother was there too. We had an argunt and I asked her why?"
Ying Sheng paused as she took a deep breath.
"I wanted to know why she hated . Why she was never around and couldn't look in the eyes."
Ying Sheng mumbled. Liam stared at her as he listened quietly to her. He knew every word she spoke was hard for her.
"I don't know why I'm telling you this Liam. I'm not soone to open up to soone. I'm afraid people would laugh at when they see my vulnerability. I don't want to be called weak."
Ying Sheng's lips stretched into a sad smile as she said.
"Maybe it's because you're the only friend I have. So I can trust you."
Liam flashed her a smile as he patted her hair.
"When I was young my parents were never around. I rember my dad used to take out for ice cream and to the park but one day it all stopped. My mother didn't even want to see . Anything she did, she would yell at and tell to go away.
I always wondered why my mom hates . I thought maybe she was going through adult stuff once she sorted it out. She would like . They say, when you criticize your children they don't stop loving you, they stop loving themselves.
I will always go to bed hating myself because I felt it's my fault my mother wasn't happy. Even though I was a kid I knew back then "
Ying Sheng said as her eyes once again began to well in tears.
"The people in the high society made it worse. They just wanted to be my friend because my parents were rich.
No one tried to know the real so I pushed them away. I began to keep to myself and avoided them. I bullied so too so that they would hate and not co close to .
I started getting into troubles, fighting with other kids in school because I knew the school would call my parents but funny they never ca.
It was my nanny who always ca anyti the school called ho. My parents felt I was destroying their reputation in City S so they sent away. I was only eleven at that ti.
They sent a kid alone to a foreign country. I had no one at that boarding school. I thought if I did well academically my parents would be proud and they would finally notice .
So I studied hard day and night, I rembered one day before our exams I collapsed due to how I was stressing my body."
Ying Sheng chuckled dryly. "The school called my mother that I had collapsed and I needed soone since they were worried about my ntal health. Both no one ca. I can still see the pitiful looks they were giving .
One day when I went to the school rooftop I saw a girl smoking. I was curious so I asked her why she was smoking?"
Liam couldn't help but swallow. He never knew she had suffered so much.
"She laughed and said it was a way of escaping from reality. The cigarette and beer healed her and survived every passing day. Then she removed the bandage wrapped around her wrist."
Ying Sheng's eyes darkened as she got lost in her story.
"To say I was shocked was understatent. Why would soone hurt herself? She said the feeling of the blood draining out of her makes her feel alive. It replaced the emptiness inside her. I thought she was crazy so I left her alone.
That was my biggest mistake. I realized she needed soone to just listen to her but I called her crazy and ran away. Ten minutes later…...news of soone jumping from the rooftop spread through the school."
Ying Sheng stopped talking and Liam froze.
"I...killed her. If- I had just listened to her. If I had not call her crazy maybe she wouldn't have—"
"For days I tried calling my parents. I just wanted soone to tell it wasn't my fault. That my harsh words didn't kill her. That there was nothing I could have done. No, no one was around. The guilt crawled inside my head slowly breaking .
Years went by and I didn't tell anyone. I beca the sa person I called crazy. I started drinking, smoking and cutting myself. I realized she wasn't crazy…...no. She was just a sad broken girl who needed love. Wanted soone to understand her.
I was suffocating alone in that foreign country so I ca back ho. My need for parental love made co back.
But nothing changed apart from . I changed. I dyed my hair red, went for a tattoo and started rebelling.
I didn't realize I was losing myself in the process. I was far gone."
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