Chapter 2: 2
I don’t know what happened after I closed my eyes seeing Dad. I don’t know how I ended up coming ho. I don’t know in what situation dad brought
ho or what the reaction on Jace’s face was.
Was he worried about ?
Was he thinking about
with sincerity when I was closing my eyes, making them worried?
I don’t know about anything but the mont I opened my eyes I found myself in my bed while my hands were connected with syringes which gave
enough pain for
to scream loud but I endured. Maybe this must be the first ti I felt like a grown-up person.
After getting up from the bed, I removed the shots connecting my wrist. I went near the window and looked outside where all I could see were lights wherever I tried to look, but this is not what I wanted. I wanted to see the dark even if it was scary. Nothing is going the way I want, but I want to feel calm. Seeing everything moving smoothly with a bright smile as if there is no tomorrow makes
feel greedy.
My insides keep saying, is there anything I could say it is mine? There is nothing right? But I didn’t get a single answer.
I stood barefoot at the entrance of the window which could push
down if my feet trembled even for a second but still I got hold of myself trying to take my step forward to experience how it could be to feel the true physical pain? Would it be less than the ntal pain I’m having right now? I don’t know.
I closed my eyes but the mont I opened my eyes I was standing near the window, not on the verge of dying, which made
realize it was all my imagination seeing
dying, but when I again think of the mont, it keeps giving
goosebumps. I’m just too scared to kill myself.
I walked toward the downstairs thinking I may have a worried dad. I should have said sorry to him, but the mont I was standing at the upper stairs I found them laughing, giggling as if I didn’t exist. It was so loud which was making the entire hall echo their voice again and again making
laugh louder than them. Here I kept getting worried about them, but what about ? Do they ever think of having the worry I have for myself? Am I not their responsibility too?
I don’t know anything. I thought I could have little thought about my life, but all just ended up being an illusion I could never, ever erase.
I kept standing in the sa place where I saw Dad looking at .
"You woke up?" he asked, coming running toward , but I stopped waving my hand.
"What happened?" he asked again.
"Don’t co here?" I said in a low tone, which was barely audible.
"What did you say?" he asked
again.
"I said not to move," said looking toward the floor. I do not know what kind of response I will get, but still, I wanted to say until I can lift the heavyweight on my shoulder.
"But why?" he asked
again.
"As you know, you three are having a happy family dinner, so why would you bother coming here, interrupting the fun ti?" I said, bringing a forceful smile to my face, which I thought I would never be able to do, but sohow I learned.
"What do you an? Aren’t there four of us in the family?" dad said while my brother and mom kept looking at
without blinking their eyes.
"We? You sure dad?"
"Of course we are
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