"You could at least say that you were happy to see , you ugly piece of shit. No damn manners, I swear... I know dragons are angry by nature, but you don't have to take the fact that you look like that out on the rest of us."
A large vein bulged in Abaddon's forehead. The good mood Audrina had worked so hard to cultivate again was dead and gone.
Abaddon pointed a clawed finger at the monkey in a human disguise. "You aren't supposed to be here."
"What? I can't do so sightseeing!?" Wukong hurled another peach pit at Abaddon's chest.
He caught it and threw it back with devastating ease. "No you can't do any 'sightseeing' you ignorant fucking monkey. Have you any idea the kind of threat that's looming over our doorstep at this mont!?"
This ti, Wukong caught the peach pit, and he looked past Abaddon to stare at Audrina. He tipped his sunglasses down.
"Hey there, shadow queen. My, you're looking mighty- Ack!?"
Abaddon grabbed Wukong by the neck and lifted him above his head. He proceeded to shake the monkey like he was looking for spare coins to fall out.
"Why. Are. You. Here." Abaddon continued to shake the monkey.
"Gbbgabdbfbggdc....!" Foam began to spill from Wukong's mouth, and his glasses flew clear off his face. Audrina looked them over, decided she liked them, and stole them.
Because who was going to tell her she couldn't?
Suddenly, the wooden cane that had been lying dormant all this ti flew to Wukong's defense.
The weapon got right in between the two n and extended into a brilliant staff of iron and gold.
Upon extending, it smashed into Abaddon's jaw so hard that his head actually exploded.
He dropped Wukong while he waited for his head to regrow.
A few short seconds later, he was cracking his neck to make sure that everything was back in place.
anwhile, Wukong was trying to recover by holding himself up with his staff.
"You damned brute... No tact or patience with you, I swear it... All I did was complint the lady..!" Wukong snarled.
In fairness, Wukong is not necessarily a lascivious deity. He truly saw himself complinting Audrina as sothing harmless.
Abaddon didn't give a damn what he thought though.
"You should value your life a bit more. Never know what might happen to it." Abaddon murmured vaguely.
Wukong showed Abaddon his own dangerous glare. "No one else has managed to take it so far. Need I remind you that list includes yourself."
"You are mistaking my gesture of good faith for a sign of inability. A grave mistake of a craven fool."
Wukong smiled in amusent as he leaned against his staff. "Oh? I seem to recall it was mighty easy to knock your head off just now."
Abaddon actually laughed at him. "You want accolades for destroying my head with this body?? My children could have done that when they were in infancy."
Thrudd in particular was a big kicker.
"These all just sound like excuses to ." Wukong shrugged. " An age-old story of an old dragon completely unable to tell when his eyes are bigger than his stomach."
Abaddon's eyes beca pits of fire. "Even without all of my power, I could snap you in two with a thought."
"Fibs and wishes, dragon. They both hold the sa amount of weight if you ask ." Wukong threw the peach pit back.
This ti, Abaddon caught it and crushed it within his palm like it was nothing.
Wukong stared at him mockingly, almost like he was waiting for him to do sothing.
The longstanding rivalry between Sun Wukong and Abaddon Tathat goes back several thousand years.
One could say that the monkey king is directly antagonistic to the dragon, and others might say that they both share a set of beliefs and behaviors.
The truth is that it isn't that Wukong doesn't like Abaddon. He just enjoys getting under his skin.
Everywhere that he goes, he hears the constant prattle from all of the deities in the celestial court.
Abaddon is so handso.
His wives' beauty is unparalleled.
I heard one of them married that witch Izanami. Maybe the rest of us have a chance.
He was sick of it!
Everyone knew Wukong was the most handso being on two legs.
He felt that it was his Buddha-given duty to keep Abaddon humble and remind him of his place as second best.
Like Kendrick Lamar, Ronald Reagan, and whoever ca up with pay-to-win video gas, Wukong is a generational hater whose efforts alter the course of history.
"Most beautiful man, my ass. I've shot better-looking things into my chamber pot after a few bowls of mapo tofu. All you bastards with third eyes think you're hot shit and let tell you sothing, THAT is hot shit, my friend!"
"Wukong." Abaddon rubbed his temples.
"And another damn thing! Why the hell are you insisting I have to stay ho when you're letting that blue bastard Shiva run free!"
Abaddon was forming a titan-sized migraine. "…Shiva can handle himself. I'm less worried about him than I am anyone who ca for him."
Wukong folded his arms as he stared at Abaddon hard."…"
"…?"
"I'll whoop the shit out of Shiva."
"I would pay literal oceans of riches to see that."
"The hell does that an?! I'm no less mighty than that bastard!" Wukong pointed his staff at Abaddon's chin.
Abaddon smirked. "I know a little mountain that would beg to differ."
"Bitch."
"Enough, boys." Audrina stepped in between the two n and knocked Wukong's staff aside.
"You know why you should be in the heavens, Monkey." She glared at him. "If Percival gets his hands on your powers, then the threat he poses becos exponentially larger."
Wukong paused again. This ti for much longer.
"…?" Audrina tilted her head.
"…So you admit I'm nice with it." He winked.
"Jesus fucking Christ."
Abaddon reached to grab the Taoist deity by the neck again, but he flipped into the tree to avoid it.
The monkey hung upside down by his legs as he obnoxiously munched on a peach.
"Such short tempers you both have. I guess you are all a match made in the underworld, aren't you?"
Abaddon and Audrina paused and stared at each other tenderly.
"Gross." The fighting Buddha hurled another peach pit at them.
""…WHY ARE YOU HERE?!?"" The duo yelled again.
"For you!" Wukong pointed his staff at Abaddon. "The big man wants a word!"
Abaddon arched a brow. "Since when are you Buddha's errand dog, Wukong? I know your ti under the mountain made you docile, but-"
"You get one more jab like that before that jaw of yours goes flying, pretty boy."
"Ah, so you do know I'm not ugly."
"THAT'S IT!"
Wukong lunged at Abaddon wildly.
His staff barely ca within striking distance when a wall of shadows rose up from the ground and swallowed him whole.
Fixing her hair, Audrina sighed as she leaned against the tree trunk and took a peach for herself.
Generally, most food outside of Tehom was flavorless slop, but this, at the very least, was edible.
"So… Buddha wants to see you." Audrina finally said.
"I guess so." Abaddon murmured. "Though why he sent the monkey to co for is sothing I'm sure I don't understand…"
Audrina cut the peach into segnts and held a small piece in front of her husband's mouth.
"Their relationship is not so bad. Wukong only pretends to be obnoxious to elicit a reaction out of you."
"I know that." Abaddon rolled his eyes. "I just wish that it didn't work."
Audrina smirked as she wiped her husband's chin. "Well, that's up to you now, isn't it, honey?"
Abaddon's chewing beca slightly more aggressive.
"I don't know what he wants, but I don't have ti to find out either." said Abaddon.
"And why not?"
"Are you joking? Do you rember that-"
"I rember that you are not the only one of us on earth. We can preserve the rest of the temples while you go off to see what the jolly old man wants."
Abaddon smiled apologetically. "My love, I couldn't leave you all to-"
"I'm not really asking you for permission, darling. I'm telling you." Audrina said with a gentle firmness.
She placed her hand over his chest and gave him an unwavering look.
"I don't know what it is, but being down here is doing sothing to you this ti. You need distance. If for no other reason than to prevent yourself from going insane."
Abaddon opened his mouth to speak. Audrina pinched his lips closed before he could even get another syllable out.
"Unless you're going to say: 'I understand my darling wife and I will listen to you because you are the love of my life and mother of my children'... then maybe you should just nod instead."
Audrina released her husband's lips and waited.
Her smile was unfairly big. She knew she had won.
"...Kiss before I go?"
Audrina's smile only beca wider. "Oh, darling. As if you even needed to ask."
She wrapped her arms around Abaddon's neck sensually and brought her lips towards his own.
The kiss was lengthy and passionate. More playful and affirming than lustful.
It soothed the soul and chased away negative feelings and thoughts. Abaddon was so close to being sent off with a smile.
But then Audrina released Wukong from the shadows. And Abaddon rembered exactly why he was even irritated in the first place.
Wukong crashed face-first into the ground. He sat up while rubbing his nose and cursing at the duo. "What the hell! I was falling for six god damn hours, you monsters!!"
'And sohow it still doesn't feel long enough...' Abaddon sighed deeply.
Audrina noticed that her husband looked like he was in need of another pick--up, so she kissed him again before he suddenly acquired a new monkey fur coat.
"Gross." Wukong spat on the ground.
Both lovers slapped him on either side of his face without pulling away from each other.
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