"I can’t stand you young sons of bitches. You don’t fight, you don’t drink. Goddamn dust bunny, all you do is eat, shit, and roll around."
Odessa took a break from coloring on the floor and stared at Satan who lay right beside her.
He pointed at her as soon as she looked up.
"Y’see! That right there. I know you’re not as dumb as you’re pretending to be. You just like that everyone fawns all over you and acts like your shit don’t stink. Well, I got news for you, Missy. You-"
Odessa held up her drawing for Satan to see.
It was a very poorly drawn demon man swimming in so very questionable red water.
Satan’s brow twitched.
"...You know what? You’re okay after all, punk. Don’t tell anyone I said that, though. Can’t let my rep get run through the mud because a one-year-old can’t keep her mouth shut."
Odessa picked up a crayon and passed it to Satan.
"...Oh, right. You’re defective. My bad."
Satan took the crayon from the child and started to add his own personal touches to the drawing. But before he really got into it, he paused and pointed his crayon at the other interloper.
"You keep this to yourself when you start talking, red. No one likes blabbermouths and snitches get..." He turned back to Odie. "Tell your brother what they get, Great Niece."
Odessa patted Satan on one of the scars running down his arm.
The demon lord nodded like a proud father. "Damn right, pumpkin head."
K’ael seemingly paid neither of them any attention and instead kept trying to put his feet in his mouth. It was a ti-consuming endeavor, but soone had to do this important work.
Satan started drawing dismbered limbs and skulls in Odessa’s picture.
Just to make it feel a bit more like his own.
"I tell ya, you’re not so bad. Almost makes want kids of my own."
Odie stopped playing with crayons and stared at Satan.
"I said almost." He emphasized.
Odessa went back to playing with the colorful box.
At that mont, all three of them heard the sound of footsteps enter the room.
Mateo looked like he was looking for soone else, but when he saw what was taking place in the living room, he couldn’t get over to the trio faced sitting infro.
"What the hell is going on here...?"
Satan didn’t understand. "What? We’re hangin’ out."
If the demon lord thought that explanation was goin to make Mateo feel better, he was sorely mistaken.
"Who in their right mind left you alone with the children??"
"For your information, Mira was-"
"And suddenly everything makes sense." Mateo sighed.
"HEY!"
The vampire ignored Satan as he dropped to one knee.
He easily scooped up K’ael in one arm and held his other arm out for Odessa. "Co on, miss ma’am. Let’s try to find a responsible adult to watch you before your parents wake up."
Satan scoffed. Obviously, Odessa wasn’t going to go to Mateo and leave him behind.
They had built a bond! Beco forged in fire!
No one was going to take that from them-
"There she is!" Mateo lifted Odessa up and spun her around. Odessa couldn’t giggle, but she did show the happiest little gummy smile that she could muster.
Satan was understandably crushed.
"I’m back!"
Mira suddenly ca rushing into the room from down the hall.
When she saw her godfather standing in the room with her younger siblings, she imdiately turned around. "Op, gotta go..."
"Míja..."
Mira paused and slowly turned back with a gilty look on her face.
"...I swear, I was only going to leave them for just a couple of minutes while I took Entei to poop!"
Mateo sighed and shook his head. "That’s fine, but how many tis have we all told you, if your parents aren’t available, you’re supposed to go to-"
"Anyone but Grandma Karliah and Great Uncle Satan..." She finished.
"That’s right. Need I remind you of what happened when Darius decided it was a good idea to leave Courtney with him while he went to the bathroom?"
Mira shivered. Normally, it’s against the rules for family mbers to use their powers against each other, but they had to make an exception that day so that Courtney could grow a new toe and lose the mory of accidentally having it chopped off.
By now, Mira was almost used to seeing her dad upset, but she had never seen her mothers that upset over anything before. She thought for sure that they were going to murder Satan and anyone he ever breathed around.
"PLEASE DON’T TELL MOMS!" Mira squealed.
Mateo didn’t have his own children, so he was bad with tears and crying.
"Alright, alright, fine..!" He acqueised. "But you have to help your grandmother and I do sothing."
*Sniffle* "Okay... What?"
"First, go take these two to your grandmothers..." Mateo handed Mira her siblings one after the other.
"A-And then?"
"Then grab your daggers." Mateo pointed over his shoulder. "Today, we’re going to take a bit off your parents’ plate and go catch so horrors."
Mira was so shocked that she almost dropped both of her siblings on their faces.
- ???
"Are we rolling...? Good."
Tatiana put on a prize-winning smile that could have captured hearts far and wide.
"I’m Tatiana Tathat, and this is Restaurant Savior. Today, we’re visiting another unpopular restaurant on the outskirts of our beloved realm! I’m here to find out today if the problem is the food, the decor, or the hospitality- and if the owners are already too far gone for to fix."
A shimring light ca over Tatiana’s face and body, transforming her into soone completely different.
"To get the best look at the day-to-day operations as possible, I will be going undercover so that I can experience everything through an unbiased lens."
Even in her disguise, Tatiana was eye-catching and charming.
Her television personality, while sotis over the top, wasn’t that far removed from how she acted in her day-to-day life. It was that level of authenticity that made her television show such a massive hit.
"Oh! I almost forgot! Today, I’ve brought along two very special guests. My eldest son, Apophis, and my adorable daughter-in-law, Claire."
Two more people stepped into the cara’s view; both disguised.
On screen, a cookbook appeared with the faces of both dragons on it.
The book was titled, Soul & Sustenance. A Guide to Balancing the Nutritious & Delicious.
"Are you ready? Well, let’s go!"
The cara showed Tatiana and her guests entering the restaurant one after the other.
As soon as they entered, there was a surplus of dramatic music as the hidden cara cut to the corners of the shop, where the restaurant was noticeably not up to standard.
Cobwebs hanging in corners, unmopped floors, dirty kitchen counters, and worst of all, sticky tables.
"Just the four?"
An older dragon sauntered up to the party. He undoubtedly might have been a handso fellow once, but his lack of care in his clothing and appearance brought him down more than a few pegs.
"Erm, yes." Tatiana smiled as if nothing was wrong.
The man handed her four nus that hadn’t been properly wiped down and gestured to the dining room.
"Sit wherever you want...Basically got the place to yourselves."
As the owner walked away, Tataina couldn’t help but make perfect eye contact with her caraman’s hidden cara.
Once the four of them sat down, the man returned and placed a large pitcher on the table for everyone to share.
That was the last semi-pleasant experience the group had.
They ordered a total of eight dishes, mostly appetizers, to pass around the table.
The wait ti for the dishes was well over an hour, and Apophis wasn’t shy about voicing his disappointnt.
"With how long everything’s taking, you would think we ordered soufflés or wellingtons... I can’t tell if the chef is extrely slow or just trying to be a perfectionist."
Everyone at the table nodded in agreent.
Twenty-five minutes later, the first couple of dishes started coming out.
Tatiana was imdiately disappointed by what she saw. As was Claire.
"Already, it seems like we aren’t starting off on a good note..." She sighed. "The corn chips topping my chicken tortilla soup have already gone soggy, indicating that the dish must have been sat for quite a long ti."
Claire picked up a knife and fork. She grimaced as she started cutting into a chicken wing.
"It looks quite dry inside... but I’m hoping that the seasonings will save this."
She raised the fork to her mouth and started to chew. Dramatic music beca more and more intense as her chewing persisted for far longer than it should have.
"Ah... And it actually is quite dry. There doesn’t appear to be any seasoning in the batter either; all I’m tasting is flour and wing sauce."
Tatiana had reached a similar conclusion. No matter how many dishes she tried, they were all diocre or slightly underwhelming.
The only highlight of the al proved to be the onion rings. They were fried well, and the batter was slightly sweet with a crunchy texture.
Tatiana sighed as she looked towards the cara again.
"It seems we have a lot of work cut out for us- if the owner is open to change, that is.... What do you think, my love? Do you think he’ll be open to change?"
-
Abaddon awoke with a start.
When he sat up in his bed, the first thing he noticed was that the lamp lights were on.
The second was that his entire bedroom slled of food.
He looked at his bed and realized that his wives were holding plates that looked like they were pulled straight from his dream. Bekka was seemingly more happy about the current situation than anyone.
"I gotta say, babe... even when you’re ntally unstable, you know the way straight to my heart."
Abaddon was still having a hard ti wrapping his mind around everything that was going on.
Lisa gently took his hand and showed him a deliriously gentle smile.
"Honey... there’s sothing that we need to tell you."
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