Ethan held onto Samuels body, which was gradually turning cold, and his heart was filled with a type of hollow pain.
Yet again, he lost soone important to him.
His ties to this world were shrinking, and these bonds were breaking off one by one, making him feel as if he was in a dream.
The sound of burning fire, explosions, the slithering sound of the humanoid worms approaching him, and the screams of the Lord Graces Associations believers all beca aningless echoes in his ears. It was as if he was separated by a thick layer of cotton, and nothing could attract his attention.
He felt very sad.
He didnt even know why Samuel entered the Forbidden City. Although they were friends, he knew almost nothing about Samuel.
He never asked Samuel any questions about his childhood life, his boxing experiences, what music he liked to listen to, or who he admired most. Similarly, Samuel did not ask him these questions either. This seems to be an unwritten rule in the Forbidden City. People would not get to know each other and beco friends like ordinary people outside the city, as if they were afraid to connect life inside the city to life outside the city. Ethan also always thought that such things were personal, it was impolite to ask, and that they would always have a chance to get to know each other in the future.
As a result, though they lived together in the city, had gone through life and death together, and had experienced despair and pain together, he still knew nothing about him in the end.
Ethan gently placed Samuel on the ground. In the midst of the crowd running around him, the hot air blew against his hair. He closed Samuels eyes gently and wiped the dirt off his cheek with pity. This Oga had it tough all his life. He didnt want to bow to anyone or yield to fate. No Alpha had ever dominated his destiny, and no one had ever seen his inner despair and vulnerability. Even Ethan never saw it. Therefore, he never realized Samuels heart was eroded by hatred and pain and didnt see his soul slowly fragnt.
Ethan leaned down and printed a kiss on Samuels forehead. Then, he slowly stood up. He saw Little Rafael gently cuddle up to Samuel with so attachnt. Its body curled up, surrounding Samuels body as it protected him like a wall. Ethan didnt know whether it was the male giant worms natural desire to protect the giant worm queen who was about to be born from Samuels corpse, or Schneiders soul, which continued its life in the worms body, was taking care of his forr lover tenderly and sadly.
Tanisiel stood, looking at him through the hazy smoke, and placed a hand on his shoulder. Ethan grabbed the hand and murmured, Youre all I have.
Tanisiel did not speak but pressed his hand down slightly on his shoulder.
When Chen Zeng died, the over 1000 n who gathered fell apart. They rushed about like headless flies into the ruins of the city, into the black tide of the humanoid worms. So of them were paralyzed in despair and kept on chanting their prayers, praying for Gods forgiveness. Ethan looked at all of them and felt very tired. Now, in this universe, apart from Tanisiel, there was nothing he missed.
He turned and left the city in a daze. Behind him, Little Rafael let out a long cry, as if to say goodbye to him. He was about to take the newly born queen underground and create their new kingdom in the depths of the earth.
Countless humanoid worms wriggled beside him and Tanisiel. They seed to be floating in a black ocean and were unconsciously rushed to the other side of the unknown. He arrived at a tall sand dune. At his feet, countless bloated black insects were worshiping him. The sky was dark, and only a golden dawn appeared on the distant horizon.
Ethan looked at the barren planet and the countless insects crawling at his feet and suddenly did not know where he was.
Co with , Tanisiel said, I have a spaceship. Lets get out of here and go to Moania.
Moania, the distant paradise without any scruples of secularism.
Could he really go there? Could he really forget what happened here and go there with Tanisiel? He looked back, green eyes filled with a trace of hesitation. The priest lifted his hand from his shoulder and placed his palm on the back of his head, gently rubbing it. He tilted his forehead forward slightly until it was resting against Ethans and said, Let the Earth Union and the gods of Disorder scram, and we can live together there.
Could he really do that?
Could he really be happy?
ButIm a monster Ethan closed his eyes, and his voice trembled.
Being a monster is subjective. In my opinion, they are the ones who are monsters.
The year he spent in sleep was like a flick of a finger. When Ethan was awoken by the mainfra, he was not even sure whether he had just fallen asleep or woken up. He was slowly awoken by the mainfras gentle voice, and a chanical arm extended to massage his limbs that had not been used for a year, making him sigh comfortably. He put on his bathrobe and saw that the sleeping capsule next to him was empty. An ominous fear suddenly caused a chill to spread all over him. He ran out of the sleeping capsule in a panic and barefoot, not taking the ti to put on his shoes.
He yelled Tanisiels na in the empty corridor, his heart beating wildly in his chest. He felt helpless and afraid, not appearing like the man who was feared by the entire Earth Union at all. His hands and feet were cold and shaking as he looked from room to room. Just when he was aware that he had entered the lounge, he heard a familiar voice, Ethan? Whats the matter with you?
He turned his head and saw Tanisiel, who seed to have just taken a bath, with a bath towel around his neck and a cup of coffee in his hand.
Ethan suddenly experienced the entire process of reincarnation, from death to rebirth. He rushed over and hugged the priest, nearly knocking the coffee cup out of his hands. The priest held his body in a hurry and looked at Ethan, who suddenly threw himself into his arms with such enthusiasm. However, he seed to understand sothing and gently rubbed Ethans hair. Alright, arent I here?
Ethan sniffed him, waiting for his disobedient heartbeat to gradually ease down. His body was still shaking, and he didnt know if it was because of the cold. He forced himself to let go of the priest, but Tanisiel refused to let him go. Why are you shaking? Is it cold? It seed that Tanisiel wanted to warm Ethan with his own body temperature, and his gentle touches made Ethan sigh contentedly.
Im fine, Ethan whispered.
Tanisiel let him go, taking off his robe and placing it on Ethans shoulder before asking him, Do you feel uncomfortable?
Ethan shook his head.
Hungry?
I dont seem to feel hungry anymore
You might not be hungry, but do you want to eat raw at?
It doesnt matter. I already guessed that it would happen, so Ive got so on the ship. Tanisiel shrugged unconcernedly, and suddenly, with an air of grace, he made a gentlemans salute to Ethan with one hand in front and the other in the back. So, Mr. Eldridge, would you like to have dinner with ?
Ethan couldnt help laughing. He sniggered, unable to rember the last ti he laughed in this way.
For the next few days, Ethan experienced the happiest ti of his life.
They were the only two in the spaceship, and they were just like lovers who had just fallen in love. They cooked together, watched movies together, and gazed at the vast starry space outside. He told the priest about his childhood, treated his mories of being locked in the closet by his father as a joke, and humd his mothers favorite tune. Tanisiel would hold him from behind, chin on his shoulder, and listen carefully, occasionally touching his arm as if pitying him.
The ship landed at the port in Moania. It was a very primitive and beautiful planet and was strikingly similar to Earth in its early years. It was covered with lush plants everywhere, and the water was still an unpolluted indigo. People there were still on wheels, and strange-looking animals often appeared in the roadside forest.
Tanisiel took him to the seaside, where there was a small house with a red roof. In the distance, the peacock blue sea swayed its plain white skirt, and the seagulls were flying and singing in the sky. In the distance, where the edge of the sea sat, a huge red sun was slowly sinking, and the purple clouds in the sky rolled forward like gossar, forming an extrely beautiful sight.
Ethan stood in front of the hut in a daze.
This is our new ho, Tanisiel said with a smile, Do you like it?
Ethan didnt move, as if he was stunned. After a long ti, he finally murmured, I like
Tanisiel took the lead and opened the snow-white door. He looked back at Ethan, and his smile was as moving as the sunset. Co.
But Ethan shook his head.
Tanisiel was stunned. Whats the matter?
Ethan looked at him with an absent-minded look, as if he had lost his soul.
Tanisiel frowned slightly. Dont you like it?
I like it Ethans voice was filled with despair for so reason, Butits not real
Tanisiels expression beca a little stiff at this mont. He blinked in confusion and looked at Ethan.
Did you know that when I was younger, I once imagined that I had a house built on the seashore, just like this one, and it also had a red roof and white walls.
Tanisiel was more confused. Isnt this great, then?
All this is what I wantwhat I imagined.but Ethan closed his eyes in agony and despair. Moania has no seagulls.
After he said that, all of a sudden, all the sounds from the sky and the earth went silent.
In front of him, Tanisiel suddenly stopped moving. He seed to have beco a doll and looked at him with a sort of dull look in his eyes.
Then, everything began to lt.
Tanisiel, his Tanisiel, lted like a wax figure in front of him into a pool of indistinguishable flesh-colored matter. And the house, seemingly built by frost, suddenly shattered and collapsed.
Everything between the sky and earth beca as false as the setting of a movie. Ethan felt that it was hard to breathe. He covered his throat with his hands and struggled to stabilize his breathing.
How could it be, how could it be? For so many days, the vivid tis of them leaning on each other, the carefree talks and laughter, clearly felt so real.
He turned around and saw everything.
In the misty fog, a huge and ugly monster seed to support the whole world. Where a head should have been, a very terrifying hideous red tentacle waved in the sky.
Nyarlathotep, whom he had been searching for for a long ti, finally appeared.
My stupid child, an old and sinister voice resounded in his mind, Didnt you like the dream I weaved for you?
Everything in that illusion was sothing he had dread about previously. It was made up of the wishes buried in his subconscious mind, and everything he saw happened in his head. He spent a year in his consciousness.
At this mont, Ethan was facing too large of a setback. There wasnt anything more cruel than making Ethans dreams co true, making him feel happy, and then telling him that everything was fake. He lost the courage to fight with his so-called biological father.
He slumped to the ground, black tears sliding down and forming tear tracks across his face. Whywhy
I wanted to make it easier for you to stay here forever with the people you love. The voice asked, Why struggle?
WhyI planned to promise youwhy!! Ethan yelled unwillingly. He wanted to release his tentacles, but he found that he couldnt move.
The voice said in his mind, Silly boy, do you think everything will be fine if you agree? There is still hope in your heart. Under such circumstances, if you let the core of the universe descend upon you, your spirit will be torn to pieces, and your death will be extrely painful. Therefore, I wanted to weave a beautiful dream for you, so that your spirit could hibernate here forever and live the life you dread of. You could be with the people you wanted, while at the sa ti, the core of the universe would occupy your body.
He seed to be disappointed with his child, but this turned Ethans original despair into anger. He struggled to stand up and yelled at the huge ancient god, You bastard!!! You took Tanisiel away!!! You give him back to !!!
Ethan faced the silence of the Crawling Chaos, who acted as if he did not hear Ethans shout.
Ethan clenched his fist and said, As long as you let him co back, Im willing to accept the core of the universe!
A sigh ca from the distant sky.
A sigh crossing ti and space.
My poor child. Tanisiel is not in my hands. Hes disappeared into the universe, and theres nothing I can do. Your only chance to et him again is after the fall of Azathoth. But at that ti, you will no longer be able to feel his existence.
Ethan was stunned, but he refused to believe it. He knew that Nyarlathotep was the god of trickery, and he did not believe his words.
You lied to ! I saw it! I saw those hands take Tanisiel away!!!!
If I had him in my hands, would it be necessary to deceive you with those illusions? The giant figure began to fade away, but his regretful voice still shook Ethan.
My child, you have rejected the path of hope that I gave you. Now, there is only despair left. Whats the point of living like this if you dont care about this world anymore?
As the sound dissipated, Ethan opened his eyes.
He was still standing on the sand dune. At his feet, countless bloated black insects were worshipping him. The sky was dark, and only a golden dawn appeared on the distant horizon.
Ti had not passed.
He turned his head. There was no Tanisiel behind him.
Tanisiel would never be there again.
At last, he had nothing.
The author has sothing to say:
Finally, I temporarily finished my howork. I hope I wont be too sick this week
So, there are about 10000 words to the end of the novel~ thank you for supporting all the ti. Although this novel is very cold, I dont feel cold with all of you. Id like to dedicate my heart to you guys again~~~
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