Chapter 639: Love Bleeds
RETH
For a mont he only stroked her hair and stared into her eyes. She'd turned her head to face him, her eyes shining with unshed tears. But they cleared as she reached for him, her hand, weak and trembling, curled into his chest.
"Always so strong," she whispered, because in the end she was the braver of the two of them.
Reth put his hand to her face and tried to morize the softness of her skin, the particular way her jaw fit into the heel of his palm. "I was about to say the sa thing," he murmured back.
Elia rolled her eyes, and it was such a normal thing to do, sothing he'd seen from her countless tis… for a mont his mind scread at him that this was all a joke. That nothing was wrong. That she couldn't possibly be dying. But then she locked eyes with him, and all pretense fell away. He could see everything, because she bared herself to him, as she always had—allowing him, and only him, to see the truest pieces of her heart: Her fears. And her love.
"Reth… I'm scared," she said with a trembling smile.
"Don't be. I will be right here. I will not leave you."
"I know. But I don't want you to go through this either. I want you smiling, and laughing, and strong. It's my favorite sound in the world—in any world—Reth. The sound of your laugh."
"Mine is your sigh, right when I enter you," he said, his voice gravel. "There is… nothing better."
They stared into each other's eyes and her tears tumbled over her lashes to wet her cheek, then the fur beneath it.
"I didn't know it was possible to love soone like this," she whispered. "I never even hoped for it."
He shook his head. " either. I… you are… Elia, I would give anything—"
"I know, I know. too," she said, her voice higher. "But I think… I think this is a ti to just be grateful. To know what we have, not to fight for what we've lost."
Pain hit him like a spear in the chest and for a mont he couldn't breathe. But he didn't want to frighten her, so he put his forehead to hers and whispered against her lips. "My favorite of everything is you, Elia. Absolutely everything."
" too," she whimpered. "Everything, Reth. I would always choose you."
They both breathed for a mont, making room for their love, and their pain.
Reth swallowed. "Tell the best mont for you. Tell so I can rember it and… and think about it tomorrow."
Elia tried to laugh, but it ca out half-sob, half-wince against the pain. But when his fingers tightened on her face, she only put her hand up to thread her fingers into his and hold him there.
"There are so many," she whispered. "I can't pick one. But… but I can tell you that whenever I ache for you I rember the night… the night I offered myself and you took and… and the pride adopted . It was the best night of my life. Dancing with you, Reth. Being in your arms, making love later, it was all amazing. But the best part…" she blew out a breath. "The best part was the look in your eyes when you realized what was happening. The way you stood over and stared at like… like I was a prize. Like you couldn't believe it was happening. Like… like I'd made your dreams co true. I've never felt more loved in my life, Reth."
He leaned in and kissed her softly, their lips lingering. He thumbed the tears from her cheeks even as his own began to flow. "Elia, you cannot be more loved, except by the Creator himself," he said hoarsely.
She nodded. "I know. Now… tell yours. I want to rember it and… and dream about it," she said, her voice hitching.
Reth's stomach flipped over and for a mont he had to grit his teeth against a wave of grief so intense he feared he might lose his grip.
But Elia's fingers tightened on his, and despite the sick pit of dread in his stomach, he wanted to give her this gift. To let her dream of him, even if only… only for a short ti.
Swallowing the lump in his throat he shifted so she curled against him. Their fingers were still laced where he cupped her face, but he could feel the chill in her skin, so he curled around her as best he could to share his warmth.
"My favorite mory," he rasped, his thumb drifting across her cheek, "is the day you made it to the top of the ladder." Her brows pinched in as if she was going to argue with him, but he hurried on. "It was the day I knew you were a lion. You were so strong and proud that day, Elia. And I was so terrified. I thought… I thought I was losing you.
"When we made love up there after that, you were… so open to . You didn't hide yourself, or your desire for . You surrendered and I was… so humbled. Your love that day made feel like I could conquer mountains—and it made feel small, so small, in the mirror of you. I would relive that day for as many days as I draw breath," he said honestly. "Because… because you always give the best of you. I wish I had the words to tell you what that does to my heart, Love."
"But that's exactly how I feel about you," she cried.
"Then my heart can rest tonight," Reth said, swallowing more tears. "Because I've only ever wanted you to be certain of my love, Elia. Not questioning. Never doubting. You are mine. Forever. My heart is yours. Forever. Be certain of that—utterly certain."
"Mine too!" Her lip trembled, then crumpled and she pulled him closer to bury her face in his neck. "Reth!"
"Shhhhhh, Love. Please. Don't cry."
"Reth, I can't… I can't leave you… I can't!"
"You won't, Elia," he whispered into her hair as she sobbed against his chest. "Don't you see? Mated, claid, and offered. You are my Pair. I carry you with …" And then he recited the first of the vows he'd given her—the night he claid her. "Wherever you are, no matter what you face, I go with you. My body for yours, my blood for yours, my life for yours. You're mine, and I'll die to protect you." The words rang so hollow as he lay there, waiting for her to die, unable to do anything to stop this disaster hurtling down upon them, he wanted to spit and snarl and scream.
But Elia sobbed and pulled him closer, and he refused to let anger steal this mont. So he curled his arms around her and held her, kissing her hair and shushing her tears. Because he loved her. And in that mont, it was the only thing he could do to show it.
But as she began to cry in earnest, Reth made it clear to the Creator that there would be words to speak when this was done.
Many, many words.
*****
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