Shen Zhiyi held the photograph as she returned to the main building, still sowhat unable to snap back to reality.
She had confird with the butler and other servants that the boy in the photo was indeed Pei Yu. At that ti, he had gone away with Father Pei for over a month. Upon returning, not only had he developed a rash from an allergy, but he also repeatedly resisted Father Pei’s arrangents. The father and son had many explosive argunts, to the extent that he was driven out of the main building and moved alone to another pavilion. Because of these events, the old servants who had been at Huating for several years still rembered them vividly.
Yet, Shen Zhiyi did not understand why Pei Yu, who had clearly visited her hotown and t her before, never told her about it.
Shen Zhiyi now understood Pei Yu very well. If he had concealed this from her, he must have thought there was a need to do so.
What was the reason?
Shen Zhiyi felt that this matter was also connected to the sudden souring of his relationship with Father Pei.
To figure this out, she first called Qin Fang to reconfirm that Pei Yu had indeed visited her hotown.
"You’ve known each other for a long ti?" Qin Fang was quite surprised, since not only had Pei Yu kept it a secret from Shen Zhiyi, but from them as well, "Brother Pei never ntioned it."
"That’s why I want to understand why he’s keeping it a secret from ," Shen Zhiyi said, seeing he was also oblivious, "Do you know the address of Father Pei’s sanatorium?"
Asking Pei Yu might not result in him telling her unreservedly, so Shen Zhiyi thought to ask Father Pei who was the most likely to know the reason.
The last ti she saw Father Pei, the other party had called for a car, so she did not know the exact address, only rembering the place was very remote and quiet.
"You want to see Uncle Pei?" Qin Fang hesitated, unsure if he should give her the address behind Pei Yu’s back, as Pei Yu really detested his father.
"If Brother Pei cos after ..."
Shen Zhiyi resignedly said, "I won’t let him do that."
After a mont of hesitation, Qin Fang still gave her the address and instructed her, "If Brother Pei asks, you just say that Songzhi told you, it has nothing to do with ."
Using the address, Shen Zhiyi found her way to the sanatorium.
Seeing this old man again, she felt he seed more haggard than the last ti they t, lacking so of his forr presence.
"Hello," Shen Zhiyi had been a bit intimidated the last ti she t him, but now she felt nothing. She just wanted an explanation, so her deanor was neither humble nor pushy, sowhat detached, "Did Pei Yu and I et a long ti ago?"
What she actually wanted to ask was whether the girl Pei Yu had liked, as Father Pei once ntioned, was her?
Faced with her inquiry, Father Pei confird her guess.
"I thought you would never know."
Shen Zhiyi pursed her lips, her emotions complex. She truly didn’t have much of an impression of Pei Yu from that ti. If it weren’t for that photograph, she indeed would have never known for her entire life.
"Why didn’t Pei Yu tell ?" Shen Zhiyi could not understand why this had to be concealed from her.
Because of her sudden visit, Father Pei perked up a little, "I’m very willing to explain it all to you."
He recounted the past events at a asured pace. "...He wanted to take you away with him, but I stopped him. Afterwards, he threw temper tantrums over this matter and often opposed . It’s just that his little sches were not ready for the big stage, and in the end, he still had to follow my arrangents."
Outside the window, the rain was pouring heavily, his words sowhat indistinct amidst the dense sound of rain.
Last ti she heard him ntion these things, it was impossible for Shen Zhiyi to say she didn’t mind. But this ti, realizing she was the protagonist of the story, she felt a flood of mixed emotions.
She didn’t know that at that ti Pei Yu wanted to take her away, nor that he had defied his father because of it.
"The reason I didn’t tell you is that he has always resented , resented himself. He hates the fact that he couldn’t take you out of the mountains, that he couldn’t resist ,"
Father Pei chuckled lightly, "A very twisted character, right? He’s a bit extre, in this he’s like his mother."
Shen Zhiyi remained silent for a long ti before his tone shifted, advising as a true elder, "Pei Yu is very much like his mother; they are both very obsessive people. Being with him isn’t an easy thing, and you will eventually find it tiring. It might be better to withdraw sooner rather than later."
Just as he had forced Pei Yu to give up Shen Zhiyi back then, now he intended to convince Shen Zhiyi to leave Pei Yu.
Shen Zhiyi remained silent for a long ti; she needed ti to digest his words, ti to contemplate what Pei Yu, who had kept these things hidden from her, must have been feeling.
Even though they had t long ago, he still constructed a false first eting for her. Even though he had loved her for many, many years, he was willing to give up those mories.
Did he hate his past weak self or the self that failed to take her away?
"He’s very good," Shen Zhiyi found it hard to pick an appropriate word to describe the Pei Yu in her eyes after knowing all this. In a hoarse voice, she said, "Pei Yu is very good."
Looking at the elderly man in front of her, Shen Zhiyi felt genuinely puzzled, "You say Pei Yu is extre and obsessive like his mother, but before his mother chose to end her life, did you think the sa? Did you believe you always loved an obsessive woman?"
Caught off-guard by her question, Father Pei fell silent for a mont.
He was fickle yet affectionate, having chosen to marry each of his wives out of love, especially Pei Yu’s mother. He disregarded the vast gap in their social status to bestow upon her the title of Mrs. Pei—how could that be without love?
He loved her gentleness, her acquiescence, her wisdom, and consideration. When he loved her, she was a perfect wife, without a trace of obsessiveness or extremism.
It was only after she chose suicide that her image in his mind changed drastically. The sweet mories vanished like fireworks, leaving him only with a gruesoly mangled corpse that made him feel as if her love was just as repulsive.
Shen Zhiyi answered for him, "It’s because you stopped loving her."
Everything was just because of the word "love."
Because of the lack of love, the woman who couldn’t get love beca extre; because of the lack of love, he forgot their past vows and only felt she was obsessive and terrifying.
"I won’t let Pei Yu beco the person you describe."
Shen Zhiyi spoke softly, "I will always love him."
Her understanding of Pei Yu was no less than Father Pei’s. Her love wasn’t born from ignorance of him; she knew of Pei Yu’s fierceness, what he feared, and what he was avoiding.
She loved such a Pei Yu, a sowhat despicable Pei Yu, a Pei Yu once decided to be together could never part, a Pei Yu who loved her enough to compromise unconditionally.
She bore Pei Yu’s abundant love and knew how to love him in return.
Pei Yu was a businessman who wasn’t smart in this respect, not considering personal benefits, not demanding she love him as much as he loved her, only asking that her love lasts long enough.
And Shen Zhiyi happened to be soone very nostalgic and persistent. She was willing to promise Pei Yu eternity.
After learning all this, Shen Zhiyi only felt gratitude. Because maintaining Pei Yu was simple—provide him with enduring love, and he wouldn’t beco like his mother, turning unrecognizable for love.
She had promised long ago to love him more with each passing day. Now, she wanted to add a qualifier to this promise—to the end of her life.
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