"Why is the world so complicated? Why can’t things be simpler? I just wanted to beco a businessman. It wasn’t even sothing totally illegal!
"Why did it have to involve so mysterious heavenly tribulation? Do the heavens hate ? No, it must be that scum author!"
Lanting his luck, Han Xuhan walked back to his hut sluggishly.
Right after the whole fiasco with Xuanyuan Zhou’s lecture had taken place, the heavenly phenonon attracted the attention of every living being in the sect. Sect master Xuan Zi himself had co running, panic written all over his usually serene face.
After being briefed by a dazed Han Xuhan about the situation, Xuan Zi had snatched the masked Xuanyuan Zhou away from the chaotic crowd, with the rest of the curious Elders following him in a rush.
Feeling numb and cold inside, Han Xuhan had to deal with being sward by the crowd of disciples. He managed to escape with great effort.
"On the bright side, that lecture was the most impressive display I’ve seen so far in this sect. Maybe that’ll actually boost the business...."
Han Xuhan consoled himself repeatedly this way and entered his hut with fresh trauma. In the world of cultivation, perhaps such days were a part of the routine.
Feeling hungry, he summoned Zhanxian again to cook for him. The minion began to blabber the mont he appeared.
"How did it go, master? The lecture, I an."
"Incredible!" Han Xuhan answered.
"...Impressive! I was expecting it to end up in so sort of a disaster, for so reason. Guess I was wrong, master."
"....Go cook."
Zhanxian gave a mock salute and added as an afterthought, "You might want to have a chat with your new minion. Have fun!"
Eyes narrowing in suspicion, Han Xuhan summoned the second skeleton soldier, the owl, for the first ti ever, as Zhanxian entered the kitchen and started rummaging through their stocks.
After a few seconds, the odd sound of bony wings flapping in the air behind him told him that the owl had appeared. Turning around, Han Xuhan found himself face to face with his latest creation.
The owl was about half a ter tall, with twice the wingspan. It was a mystery how this sack of bones could sohow fly despite the lack of feathers and skin.
It confird his suspicions of the fact that his minions were sohow exempted from regular laws of physics in this world. As the skeleton of a human, Zhanxian could move, see, and speak like living humans, and as the skeleton of an owl, Tun Shi Tian could fly.
That’s right. Han Xuhan had already decided what to call his second minion. After a lot of thinking, he had co up with this na based on so familiar buzzwords in this setting.
Tun Shi Tian, in certain interpretations, ant ’Heaven Devouring’. During his edgelord phase on Earth, the na would have seed pretty cool, a fact that embarrassed him to no end later on. Now though... now he felt no sha in using it on a minion.
Looking up at the ceiling, Han Xuhan let out a dry chuckle and t the flying owl’s empty eye sockets.
"Hello, there. Recognize ?"
The owl silently stared back at him for a good five seconds before answering.
"Trash."
"...."
Han Xuhan’s mouth twitched. This little owl did not understand who he was facing. He had to teach it who could be the bigger asshat between the two of them.
"Trash? Hahaha, how adorable! Guess what? You’ll be serving this trash from now on. Wonder what that makes you, Tiantian?!"
The owl let out an enraged screech and dived at Han Xuhan’s head like a bullet.
"Trash, watch your mouth or I’ll stitch it up for you!"
Just as its artificially sharpened claws were about to slash Han Xuhan’s face, he canceled its summoning, and then ran the summoning cycle once more in his ridians.
About seven seconds later, the owl reappeared behind him and crashed pathetically into the wall of the hut.
"Trash, you dare!" The owl scread. The scene would have been more perfect if it could vomit blood, but alas....
"Give up, weakling. My Jedi powers are beyond your imagination. I have the higher ground!" Han Xuhan laughed rcilessly as he towered over the owl crawling on the ground. It looked up in confusion as he took out his lightsabe-walking stick from its stylish sheath.
Twirling it in his hand, Han Xuhan pointed a finger at his minion and shouted, "Resist as much as you want. But we both know that I’m superior in every way. According to the biologists, the physique of birds isn’t as refined as the physique of humans. To top that off, you’re a dead bird. Why go against natural order? Why not submit?"
The owl slowly turned to look at its senior brother Zhanxian, who had been attracted back into the room by the commotion.
"Hey, you told that our summoner was a little crazy! Is this what you call ’a little crazy’? He seems insane!
"Jedi powers? Did cultivation change its na when I was asleep? And the rest... What is he even talking about?"
Zhanxian laughed in schadenfreude.
"Cry about it, Tiantian."
"HOW DARE YOU! I’LL NOT ACCEPT SUCH A CHILDISH NA! DIE FOR !"
The owl again flew at Han Xuhan with incredible speed, and the previous scene repeated itself. Again and again, Han Xuhan and Zhanxian took turns in rcilessly teasing the owl, driving the poor thing mad with fury and indignation.
"Hmph! Is that it? I hope you can take more. We’ve got the whole night ahead of us, and I’ve held myself back for a long ti. I have a lot of frustration to vent, hahaha!"
"...Master, I was enjoying this until you opened your mouth. Why did you have to make it sound so strange?"
Furious, Han Xuhan slapped Zhanxian on the back of his cranium.
"Damned degenerate, stop thinking with your di-wait, hehehe..."
"Did you have to rub that in, master?"
"Well, between the two of us, I’m the only one who can rub it in, in more ways than one, see?"
Leaving his snickering summoner behind, Zhanxian stomped out of the room back to the kitchen.
"Hmph, scamper back to the kitchen. That’s where you belong, coward!" Han Xuhan roared at him and focused back on the owl. It was now lying on the ground lifelessly, looking as devastated as a skeleton bird can.
"What about you? Still want to rebel against your master?"
"...For now, I’ll accept your tyranny, you demon!"
"Tch~ Broken so easily? Here I was, looking to have more fun..."
Hearing Han Xuhan’s regretful musing, Tun Shi Tian shivered.
The world of cultivation was a brutal place indeed. Even the undead were not exempt from its oppression!
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