I finally burst through the last line of screaming trees and skidded into a wide clearing, still cackling like the unhinged nace I proudly was.
And there, dead centre, stood Annalise.
For a brief, stupid mont, I actually thought:
Oh hey, good, soone I know! Soone who is actually competent! Soone who might be fun to annoy!
Then she looked at .
Made eye contact.
And imdiately flipped off.
Both hands.
Like she’d been waiting for the opportunity.
I stopped laughing.
"...wow," I muttered. "Rude."
Honestly, I was kind of impressed. She didn’t even hesitate. Not a flinch. Not a blink. Just pure, concentrated middle finger energy launched directly at my soul. Annalise was giving pure ’Born to be a maiden, forced to be soone who gave others rude hand gestures’.
Truly, this went to show how good her manipulation abilities were.
Anyway, the horde of giant monkey abominations behind was getting louder, so I tore my gaze away from her... two fingers only to freeze again.
Because the hundreds of blue strings filling the air pulsed.
Twisted.
Braided.
And in less than a heartbeat of pure suspense, they condensed into a gleaming blue sword the size of my entire childhood trauma.
She raised it slowly.
Calmly.
Like she was about to perform a gentle operation instead of what I knew knew, was going to be a violent, skull-cracking assault.
I had exactly one thought:
Nope.
I also had exactly one strategy:
Scream for backup.
Lucky for , my D-rank senses had already pinged Nora and Kent barreling in our direction. They weren’t close enough to see yet, but close enough to hear the absolute desperation in my voice.
So I inhaled and scread.
"NORA!! KENT!!"
Not even a second passed before...
BOOM.
FLASH.
Two people teleported directly into the clearing beside Annalise like I’d just summoned them with a friendship-based ergency beacon. It truly looked like a scene from a shitty ani where the power of friendship saved the day.
Nora almost fell over from the sudden arrival.
Kent looked like he wanted to file a complaint with the universe.
Annalise?
She turned toward them.
And smiled.
Sweetly.
Softly.
Gently.
Like a loving, benevolent mother greeting her children.
I felt a shiver crawl up my spine.
Because even from 500 ters away, yes, I checked, even with branches whipping my face and giant ass monkey monsters screaming behind , I could feel the existential dread radiating off those two.
Kent’s soul visibly left his body.
Nora’s knees buckled for half a second.
They were both re-evaluating their life choices.
Probably their past choices.
Definitely their future ones.
Honestly? I couldn’t bla them.
If Annalise smiled at like that, I’d start confessing cris I hadn’t even committed yet. Remind to never offend her again.
I slowed down just enough to shout across the clearing:
"I told you she was rude!"
Annalise slowly raised her blue sword.
Her smile didn’t fade.
The forest behind roared.
And for the first ti since the exam started, I thought about how this might have been a slightly bad idea...
I didn’t wait for Annalise to finish deciding whether she wanted to murder or simply maim .
Nope.
I vanished.
One instant I was standing five hundred ters away, the next...
BOOM.
A shockwave blasted outward from where I had been standing.
The ground cracked open like a waterlon breaking apart, caved in like the dent in your head, and turned into a smoking crater. I don’t know how to describe a smoking crater, but I’m sure you can guess.
And I reappeared right in front of the group in a single, stupidly dramatic leap.
I landed with enough force to send leaves fluttering and Kent stumbling a half-step back and the grace of a man spider hybrid superhero.
"Hi," I said cheerfully. "Miss ?"
They in fact did not miss .
Not even a little.
They hurt the poor old .
The thunder of the charging horde grew louder five seconds away.
Maybe four.
Perfect.
I grinned, pointed behind with all the pride of a man unveiling a masterpiece, and announced:
"Look at the gift I brought you."
Silence.
Complete, judgnt-heavy silence.
All three of them stared at like I’d just told them I collect toenails for fun.
Then Kent’s expression shifted.
Slowly.
Unnaturally.
And he smiled.
A smile even more deranged than mine.
He summoned his reaper scythe in a crack of violet mana, the curved blade glowing with malicious joy and silver depression.
"Oh," he whispered, "I like your gift."
I blinked. "Oh gods, you’re worse than ."
Nora sighed like a disappointed mother, summoned her immaculate silver rapier, and flicked a monster’s blood off the blade even though there was none on it yet.
How does that work?
"Why," she groaned, "why are my friends like this?"
"Because the universe loves you enough that it starts hating you?" I said helpfully.
Nora didn’t respond.
Annalise still hadn’t moved.
She was frozen in that perfect stance, blue strings swirling around her, sword raised delicately like she was rehearsing the best way to concuss .
Three seconds left.
A tree exploded sowhere behind .
Two seconds.
Kent spun his scythe and started giggling.
One second.
Nora muttered sothing about regretting every decision she’d ever made that led her to eting us.
I love her too.
Then Annalise inhaled, exhaled, and finally spoke.
"Go out, they said," she muttered in the deadpan voice of a woman utterly done with existence. "You’ll et new people, they said. And what do I get? A lunatic,"...she pointed her sword at ", an idiot" she flicked her eyes at Kent, who waved cheerfully "...and a fangirl princess."
Nora gasped. "Hey—!"
I burst into laughter.
Loud, unrestrained, absolutely feral laughter.
"Oh gods," I wheezed, "I love you guys."
The forest behind us erupted as the horde finally reached the clearing.
The world went chaotic.
And the monsters descended upon us.
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