The mont I heard that from Ysor herself, a cold pain tore through my chest.
There were not many tis I had seen Ysor so broken by anything. She was the one who held things together, who spoke too loudly and believed too fiercely, who dragged forward when I wanted to stop. Seeing her crumble like this felt wrong in a way I couldn’t articulate.
I pulled her towards with one arm, my other hand still holding the bowl of food. She leaned into and continued to sob, quietly, her shoulders shaking against my side. For that mont, I just sat there. There was nothing I could do besides hold her.
Ysor had a tendency to believe that everything that happened to , everything she was involved in, was her fault. But this wasn’t her fault at all.
It wasn’t her fault that I killed Desmond. It wasn’t her fault that Galahad had turned out to be a rotten Enforcer who wanted to sell for his own personal profit. Those were elents she couldn’t control.
They were my decisions and my fate... and secrets I was very hesitant to tell her.
Killing soone was not a weightless matter. I didn’t expect Ysor to side with on everything, and I was reluctant to let these things I had done drive a wedge between us. The thought of her looking at differently sat heavier than the guilt itself.
I exhaled and glanced at her untouched food.
"It’s getting cold... are you sure you don’t want to eat?"
She wiped her face and leaned away from slowly, sniffling once before straightening.
"Mommy, Auntie, Bishorel is crying..."
The little kid gave Ysoriel a look of pity that almost made laugh. He toddled over and offered her his bowl of porridge, holding it out with both hands with his childish voice serious and careful.
"Don’t cry..."
Ysor looked at the small bowl of leftover porridge and smiled fondly. "Look at you being nicer to than my own brother." She grappled the boy and playfully roughed his hair while he responded with jittery laughter, squirming in her arms.
I watched her for a mont, the tightness in my chest loosening slightly, then turned to my own bowl of porridge and started eating. One spoon after another.
The cooking had been astounding. The first taste hit so unexpectedly that my eyes froze wide for a mont. It had been so long since I’d eaten properly enriched food that the warmth and flavor caught off guard, and with it ca a mory I hadn’t reached for in a long ti.
My mother, standing over a pot. The sll of sothing good filling a small room.
I swallowed and continued eating, faster now. The mory itself was like a taste, and I didn’t want to linger on it.
It turned out Marcel was right. I didn’t think I would want to serve voluntarily, but if I could eat food like this every day, the thought had already started changing shape.
Even while eating, I was watching Marcel. He was seated on the other side of the bonfire, which served as the center of the round valley where the cooking happened. An in-ground furnace had been constructed there, with tal beams rigged into the earth to support a leveling structure over the flas.
I watched him through the gaps between the beams. He was laughing as he ate, discussing sothing with the n and won that surrounded him. He looked at ease in a way that didn’t seem perford.
Then I noticed sothing. One of the people near him shifted, and behind their covered neck, the wind briefly pushed the cloth aside. Underneath, the skin was charred and cracked, like sothing had burned through from the inside.
I glanced around more carefully. Not everyone was covering their skin, but those who were had chosen specific places. Their heads and arms, and wearing longer clothes to hide what lay beneath.
I exhaled and turned my head away.
’They really are Undefined...’
I had known, of course. But seeing it made realize the weight of what Marcel had built here. He had gathered people who fled to save their lives and brought them to a place where they could keep living. I couldn’t help but wonder how long he had been doing this. When it started. What had made him start.
I wondered why.
But these weren’t questions I was comfortable asking. I was curious, but Marcel’s words alone were not going to satisfy . It was his actions I needed to see.
’I’ll stay a few days and observe him before deciding if I can trust him.’
While I was watching him, he caught my gaze from across the fire. He smiled at , pleasant and unhurried, then turned back to his conversation.
I didn’t smile back.
By the ti dinner ended, the darkness of the night had spread across the valleys. The people had no issues walking in the dark. The only difference from our arrival a few hours ago was that nobody was walking on the rocks this ti. Everyone kept to the ground, even Marcel.
Ysor and I walked together in silence for a while before I broke it.
"Do you trust him?"
She glanced at .
"Who? Marcel?"
I nodded.
"Hm."
She went quiet, thinking it over.
’She’s thinking...’
If Ysor didn’t trust soone, she said so imdiately. The hesitation ant sothing.
"I think he’s okay?"
"Hm..."
She glanced around at the people walking ahead of us.
"All these people owe him their lives and yet he doesn’t lord it over them. Even though a better life would suit him, he stays here tending to these people. He’s been here for five years..."
I blinked.
"Five years?"
Ysor nodded.
"Yes. Ayesha, Astrid, Truman were the first people he helped. Ever since, he’s taken in more and never complained. He sotis hurts and never shows it. Ayesha knows because she tends to his personal needs, and it’s not because he asked her to. She said she just wanted to pay him back with service."
I squinted.
"Ysor... personal needs?"
I glanced toward Marcel, who was walking far ahead, blocked by the crowd.
"He really doesn’t look like that type of person from afar. I guess people really do have their preferences. He didn’t look like that type of person to ."
Ysor stared at with flat disappointnt and shook her head.
"You know that was not what I was talking about."
I scratched my neck, looking away.
"Really? It wasn’t? Oh my? I lack proper comprehension!"
Ysor shook her head again and walked forward faster.
"You always think everything is funny!"
I laughed and ran after her.
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