"Is this because he rejected you? You liked him at so point, didn't you?"
"Honestly, I only found him attractive because I thought he resembled Yuhi. I think Atsuro knew that, too, so he turned down. It's been awkward since then since I know he wanted to say yes. But he discarded his feelings just so I wouldn't make the wrong decision and have regrets. He is a good guy."
"So you avoid him because-"
"Because it's hard for to face him. Every ti we speak, I can see his love for , and that irritates . How can he still have so much love for such a selfish woman?"
"I don't think Atsuro thinks you are selfish," Shin mumbled. "He may act overbearing and controlling, but he has always had your best interests at heart. Moreover, I think he blas himself for what happened between you two."
"You're very kind, aren't you, Shin?"
Shin blinked, and Sumire laughed. "You don't have to act so surprised."
"It's just- how does that relate to what topic we were discussing?"
"It relates because I can see how much you care for Atsuro."
Shin averted his gaze. "Although things have been awkward, yes, I do still see him as a friend."
"Hmm, is it awkward between you two because you like ?"
At those words, his cheeks coloured, and Shin finally realized how close Sumire was standing.
Sumire was glancing over at him and laughed again. "You're too self-conscious. I won't bite."
"If-if you did, that wouldn't be right."
Sumire's gaze softened. "You know, I've been waiting for the right ti to apologize to you."
"Apologize?"
"About the way I handled your feelings towards ."
Shin briefly recalled what happened last year when they learned that Kuruga Asahi died.
"You don't have to apologize for that. You had a lot going on."
Because she did, Sumire was still grieving for Tsueno, and then Kuruga suddenly died. Naturally, that was not the best ti to confess. But seeing her so broken, those words naturally ca out.
"It was wrong of to dismiss you like that." Sumire paused. "I have had a lot of ti to think, and I'm sorry that I can't return your feelings, Shin."
A rejection, a proper rejection. A year later.
He already knew how she felt even without her properly turning him down. But, perhaps a part of him had a small glimr of hope that she may have changed her mind.
"You're a good guy, and there is no doubt that anybody who falls in love with you will be lucky. But unfortunately, I cannot be that girl. I truly appreciate that you have never tried to overstep your boundaries and respected and treated like a good friend. But, the two of us cannot be together that way."
Shin slumped to the ground, and Sumire crouched beside him.
"Is my wording still too strong?"
At her concerned tone, Shin shakes his head. The way she is wording this rejection is far too kind. He doesn't deserve such kindness.
"I should have told you about what Tsueno was planning, about everything else. I knew from the very start, had I told you-"
Sumire paused and shook her head. "Is that why you think you don't deserve ? Because you kept secrets from ?"
Shin doesn't say anything, and Sumire must have taken his silence as a yes.
"For sobody so smart, you act like an idiot sotis." Sumire shakes her head. "Listen up, Shin. It's not like I am rejecting you because you don't deserve or whatever. I'm not that great of a person anyway. So, I have no right to decide who deserves and who doesn't. As for those secrets you kept from ? That is normal. Even people who are really close to each other aren't one hundred percent truthful to one another."
Shin still didn't respond, but he was still listening to her.
"So don't bla yourself for that. Sotis lies are needed to protect others from getting hurt. With your personality, I knew you kept it a secret to avoid getting hurt."
"In the end, I caused you more pain."
"That may be the case, but that shouldn't be the reason why you don't think you deserve . You do deserve , Shin. But I'm so selfish. The reason we won't work is because of this selfishness. From the very mont, I t Yuhi, I have only ever wanted him. I may have fallen in love with Ru and Toh along the way. I may have had other relationships. But, in the end, my heart would always go back to Yuhi. It's so selfish of when I know how much you and the others like ." Sumire laughed weakly. "I really am being cruel."
That's not true at all. It must have taken her a lot of courage to say this to him. For the past few days, it felt like she wanted to say sothing to him. This was the reason why she looked so troubled.
Shin extended his hand out and patted her head again. "Thank you."
Eventually, the two of them stood up. Sumire said she would return to the practice room, and he said he would be there soon. The mont Sumire disappeared, he sighed deeply. That caught him off guard. He didn't think she would talk about that.
__________
'I want to understand him. Soone told that doing that is fine, but soone also told to lay down the boundaries.
Sumire recalls the words she said to old man Nobucha. She had heard two pieces of advice, and in the end, the one she felt herself more drawn to was the understanding of him factor. Although it really should have been the other one.
After all, those words were from her fiance. Soujiro hadn't known she was a Yankee then, but he had often seen her with Yuhi upon seeing them together all the ti and discussing rather serious matters.
Soujiro told her directly not to get too involved. He told her, 'That man's a re dog. Even if you have to concern yourself with him, please draw a line and show your social statuses are different.'
Old Man Nobucha had told her sothing similar to, 'An elite is elite. A dog is a dog. A relationship where that's made clear is probably better for you'. But although he said that, Sumire saw the look in his eyes and understood that he was trying to convey a different ssage.
Reviews
All reviews (0)