Yuhi doesn't bother glancing over her way, knowing what sort of expression she's pulling right now.
His gaze remained fixed on the ocean as the snow continued to fall heavily, "Just like a little kid, how childish my behavior is. A brief declaration on a plain piece of paper. Relying on such things to keep our relationship together renders everything worthless and empty."
To propose for such a reason, he knows now that he's told her the reason she will feel nothing but guilt now. He doesn't want to see that expression on her face anymore; he doesn't want to be the reason why she's suffering.
"You know I fell in love with your voice; the first ti I heard it, I was completely srized. Whenever you sang, it felt like everything was coming to life. All the bleak and mundane things suddenly held a aning. I fell in love with your voice and wanted you to keep on singing no matter what happens. Yet, at the sa ti, I wanted to stop you from singing. That way, you would remain by my side all the ti and only think about . That's all I wanted."
Yuhi continued. "If you don't sing, then you won't be able to express your feelings for other n. Like that, you would stay by my side and be with always. You wouldn't be able to convey your feelings." He trails off, catching a glimpse of her remove her scarf. "Lately, I've thought that I want to kill you. I feel that if I do that, then I'll be able to make her mine forever. It's dangerous like this."
He is a beast disguised in human skin.
Even if he pretends to be an average person, Yuhi knew that side of himself is sothing he cannot erase. "These ugly feelings will only hurt you."
Sumire wrapped the scarf around his neck, and he imdiately pulled her into a deep embrace.
"I might fall into hell soday; what would you do?"
"I'd be going with you. It's already too late to change everything now. No matter what I say or do, it doesn't change our situation."
"It was never your fault. Sorry, I love it whenever you sing your heart out, and yet these dark feelings won't go away."
No matter what he does, such dark and ugly feelings sprout inside of him every single ti.
"I know. I'll sing Yuhi. For you, so listen carefully, okay?"
..
A few hours later.
So he doubts that the press would bother tailing them out here. He doesn't know whether the English dia thinks they are big enough of a group to spy on. But Yuhi knew since the festival they've been paying more and more attention to Sumires personal life. 'How can she sing like that?' Indeed it would be better to dig into her personal life to find that answer.
Even then, this place is too far away for anybody to care. This is one of the reasons why he bought this palace. In the years since he beca popular, nobody has followed him here. But Yuhi recalled that dia guy who hard Sumire; it was an incident that happened so ti ago, but it left a scar whenever he thought of it.
Yuhi didn't know what he was doing. But since he exposed such an ugly side of him earlier, the lock on his desires leaked out. It started with him kissing her when they closed the door, but he carried her to his room before long.
Quite so ti has passed since he last ca here, so the place was rather dusty. But he asked Hino to send sobody to at least clean the room.
"Y--"
"Are you nervous again?"
"Yes."
Why is she nervous? Even though it is cute. "I can't wait," He mumbled against her ear. "do you understand?
"Yuhi wait, the bed will get wet--"
"Sumire," Yuhi repeated. He didn't say anything, but he knew the girl would understand.
"Uh, I can't stop you, but Yuhi-san, I don't want you to catch a cold.
So foolish. Yuhi leaned forward and placed kisses on her neck, and slowly undid the buttons on her shirt.
"Uh--!"
"Your nervous, I get it, but you have to calm down."
"Yuhi, please…"
Yuhi gently kissed her lips. "You don't want to?"
'If she doesn't, he will have to use other ans to get rid of this feeling.'
His thoughts broke off when she hesitantly extended her hand out and caressed his cheek. "I understand you are hurt right now. But weren't you the one who told not to use such ans to cope?"
His gaze darkened at those words. Does she think this is the reason why he is doing this? But those thoughts broke off when he noticed how pale she was.
"Your cold, like ice." He mumbles.
"Aha, what's with that? But it's true, spending even a day here makes your body icy cold. Your warm Ren."
That sentence he's heard before, that's right, even in monts like this. The one she will think about the most is the guy she loves. Perhaps a part of him had already known that and had refused to acknowledge it.
He refused to acknowledge that because it would an admitting defeat. Even now, he isn't acknowledging it. But these past few days he spent even closer by his side have made him realize it even more.
"In a few days, Atushi will co here with your son and pick you up."
"Why?"
"I realized, no, I know I've been selfish recently. I shouldn't stop you from spending ti with your family. It isn't right..I don't regret touching you. But I have to start thinking properly about your happiness now. What do you really want to do?"
"It is hard for to be happy, Yuhi. I always thought I did not deserve happiness, but I changed my mind after I experienced it with Ru. I beca selfish and wanted it. I don't hate you, Yuhi, surely you know that. I believe you're important to . But I cannot get rid of the feelings I have for Ru, the feelings I never told him."
At first, he thought the only reason why she still cared for Mamoru was because she never said her feelings on ti. But now he sensed sothing different, even though she is saying this, surely she knew there was sothing else.
"I don't want you to take this as my answer."
She's blunt about it. "I understand. These monts where we can be close like this, is enough isn't it?"
"Yes."
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