That was why he declared that to Touko before about proposing after reaching number one. It felt like such a long ti ago now. After eting her again, Yuhi confird that his feelings for Sumire were real.
He squeezed her hands. "Don't think that way. I love you so much."
Her gaze softened, and she nods. "I know, sorry." She trails off and laughs. "Even though I am like this, a complete ss and paranoid all the ti. Yuhi, you never once judged , nor did you leave no matter how tiring it got. You remained by my side. If you didn't do that, I would no longer be here."
Yuhi imdiately understood what she ant by those words. It seems like Sumire attempted it before, ways to end her life, ways to escape this pain.
"You saved ."
He saved her? It's ironic that is what he wants to say to her. He still has monts like this where he feels weak and ssed up, but it isn't like before. It isn't like before where everything seed empty.
..
When they returned, the other two were no longer there. Yuhi picks up the note on the table and sighs. "Have fun."
Sumire laughs. "Well, maybe we can have so fun here."
He raised his eyebrow at her suggestion but shook his head. "At ho." When they get back, they can do all sorts of things. "Let's start reading. I will read the ones on the high shelves. You can take the middle."
He doesn't want her using a ladder or crouching down.
Sumire nods and imdiately walked to the shelves. For the next few minutes, nobody could hear any other sound than the flickering of books—the slight movent whenever they picked a book out of the shelf.
"Yuhi-san, if you get tired of . Please let know."
"That's my line." He mumbled. "Im not exactly the best guy, and you will probably see more scenes like what you did earlier."
"If I ask you to stop, will you?"
"I want to. But its the only way I can cope."
Its the only way he can cope with how ssed up he is.
Sumire nods. "I see," She trails off and sighs. "You know I have a cynical view of the world and don't trust people, correct?"
"Yeah."
"I've always thought that I want that to change. Its already too late for but I wanted sobody to prove that I am wrong. I wanted them to show that there is still sothing in this world for ; there are still people who will believe. Most people start off nice. I t so many who insist they want to help , who want to befriend . But after so long, it happens all over again, the sa pattern as before. Just when I think I am getting close to another person, one incident leads to the end of that friendship. It just takes one mistake for everything to go wrong for things to disappear."
Yuhi was glad that he had his back turned from her. He does not want to see that sorrowful look on her face right now.
"There is one other lie that I forgot to ntion to you." She trails off. "You see, I dislike myself. I hate everything about this person called Ibuki Sumire, everything that makes this way. This cynical, twisted, and terrible person."
But she saved him. Even though Sumire is going through a lot more than him, she saved him. She saves him over and over again.
"Sotis, I wish that those nightmares consu for good, so I no longer have to wake up and go back. I no longer have to cause the people I care for pain and suffering. It is difficult dealing with sobody who has such a twisted view of life; most people don't understand it. They say they will try, but then they leave when it gets too tiring or troubleso." Sumire picks up a book from the shelf.
Yuhi imdiately recognized the cover. Dazais no longer human.
"Many famous authors of the past ended their lives. Did their literature consu them? Did their art beco too heavy for them to bear? It isn't like that. Those people loved to write; for them, it was the only way they could communicate. It was the only way they could be free."
He wanted to stop her and say sothing, but then he hears her faint footsteps. She walks towards the large windows. "When Aika lectured Sano not too long, she said that shit would get old eventually. That is what most people think whenever I end up paranoid. These people have their own lives and will focus on it. I understand that very well, their comnts and harsh words are only a passing thing. But for people like us who no longer have faith in the world, who has given everything up, those words sting."
Yuhi walked over to her and intended to hug her, but she moved away. Sumire turns to him, and he sees it, sothing even worse in her eyes. Sothing darker than what he saw in his.
"It is easy for them to tell us to stop and just get over it. Let's be practical and move on with our lives. Hah," She laughs. "They can say that so easily and act all rational because they don't live in pain and fear every single day. They don't get sad and depressed randomly out of nowhere. For those people, it is that easy."
It is that easy, huh? Yuhi understood those feelings very well. Everything Sumire is saying he understood it. After all, he was like her, and yet what is this? Her sorrows and pain, it is a lot deeper than his. Yuhi thought he understood that already, he thought he was the only one who understood her. But looking into her eyes now, he is starting to see that is not the case here.
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