"Please! I don’t want to leave without you. Haven’t we been apart enough?" He pleaded, falling to his knees in front of her, his hands finding hers again and she had to harden her face and make it emotionless or she would never be able to take a stand for herself.
"And who’s fault is that? I never wanted to part with you, I told you I preferred dying. Xiran I cried, I even begged you not to do it but you did. You created a black hole in my heart, how will you fill it now? You believed there won’t be consequences for what you did to ? You left without before, you can do it again," he let go of her hands and caught her waist, she struggled to get herself free knowing he would bend her to his will again.
"And that mont broke , you think I was happy after that? I barely survived, my heart darkened without you and there were days I wanted to end my life. Don’t put through all that again, I no longer possess that strength. I am utterly alone without you, Leia," her heart burst listening to his words.
The amount of pain he had put both of them through was imasurable and she wanted to yell at him, she wanted to scream so loud to take out all her anger and frustration that coursed through her in waves. Then there was this pain birthing inside her which always did whenever she refused him sothing he wanted badly.
"I didn’t put you through all that Xiran. You chose that path for us both. You made us both suffer. After my mories were gone, I caught glimpses of you and there was no face. I thought I was crazy, panting for a man who didn’t exist. I tried to move on with Jaguar but his touch repulsed and his life got destroyed in the process. I was using him to fill the fucking gap you left, and it never did. Nightmares plagued , I would wake up screaming, alone and cold. That’s what you did you . There are an imasurable amount of raw wounds."
Tears burnt her eyes and yet she didn’t want to shed them, thinking about every mont she was utterly alone because he didn’t believe in her. His heart seed to have been jabbed with a poisoned dagger at the ntion of Jaguar and the thought he almost stole what was his.
"I am sorry," he whispered, placing his chin on her lap, so much pain rippled across his face, "You don’t know Leia but guilt has been my constant companion for a year now, it slithers in my heart and haunts my mind, it plays with my sanity for I dare hurt the most precious person in my life."
"How do you plan to make up for all that you have put through? Will your sorry fix it? Will it bring back the ti we have lost? The bond we would have strengthened? The mories we would have made? What if that serum didn’t exist? What then? Did you know about it when you took my mories?" she scread in frustration, all her anguish ca tumbling out. She tried to push him away.
"I didn’t," his voice was barely above a whisper and hung his head in sha, not able to et her penetrating gaze anymore.
"You left broken Xiran and others had to pick up the pieces. This family held together, they were there for when you weren’t. Where would we be now if my mories weren’t restored?" Tears brimd in her eyes but she didn’t shed them.
"I would have won you back all over again, I would never have given up," he replied in a small voice. The amount of pain converging in his heart was overbearing.
"I am not a toy you can win in a lottery. I am a person with feelings and you have hurt them. I need ti to make my decision about what I want to do next without you imposing anything on . Let do that, and to co to it, I want you gone for now," she declared with finality and stood up, distancing herself from him. He needed a reality check so he would never pull sothing like that on her again.
"Leia!!!" his hand was outstretched towards her, a veil of sorrow covering his handso face, his vibrant eyes glistened with tears of remorse, the heaviness on his chest choking him as ripples of pain after pain reverberated through him.
Aselia stood her ground, her hands wrapped themselves around her in a protective manner for the pain in her belly was reaching its peak and any mont it would reflect on her face or make her crumble to the ground. Before that could happen, she wanted him gone.
Xiran finally gathered himself and slowly stood up on his shaky legs, every single part of his body hurt from the gravity of her words. He silently approached her and halted where she stood, every part of him screaming to have her in his embrace but he fought the urge and breathed out in an anguished voice:
"I know my actions and decisions have hurt you but at that ti I did what I felt was right. There is nothing I can do which can bring back the ti we have lost other than apologise. Take your ti if that’s what you want, I will never force you to co with or impose any decisions on you. But, rember Leia, I won’t survive a heartbreak after everything we have been through, you are all I have left."
He gave her one final torn look which held all his pleas and regrets, his sorrows and miseries, and his yearnings and desires. His grey orbs had dimd and that shining light was missing as he slowly exited her door once again, sad and alone.
As the door shut, Aselia ran to her bed and collapsed, clutching her stomach for the pain was blinding her for she had refused him and caused him pain.
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