The long rain continued. According to the news, the typhoon that had recently arrived was nothing compared to the one that was approaching—it was said to be a re child’s play. With the flight schedule canceled, my father, who had been staying at ho longer than expected, was growing increasingly anxious.
“Strange, there are so many typhoons. Usually, this doesn’t happen in Korea. Maybe coming to Korea was a mistake. With the schedule being delayed so often, each day feels like wasted ti.”
I overheard these words and was imdiately engulfed with guilt. The typhoon, advancing northward, didn't lose strength even as it crossed the ocean and was now creeping dangerously close to the continent. At this speed, the teorologist said the storm would strike the capital tonight. It was a valid excuse to cancel school, but in this hellish Korea, that wouldn't happen.
A disaster stronger than the approaching typhoon was sweeping over . I was not in my right mind last night. I couldn't even rember how I had fallen asleep or woken up. A throbbing headache pulsed in my head, but there was no fever. It felt as if the fuse in my brain had blown out.
And on this particular day, as I closed the gate and walked down the street, a massive figure suddenly appeared from a narrow alley near Go Yohan’s house. There was no warning, no sign at all.
“Wah!”
For a mont, I almost collapsed. What was even more embarrassing was that I stood frozen and hiccupped.
“Sorry, I guess I scared you. S-sorry.”
The sight of that mischievous face, showing no hint of genuine apology, sent chills down my spine. Instead of anger, I felt a shiver. Heh. Then, trying not to look foolish, I pressed my lips tightly together, but my hiccups slipped out.
“Wh-why are you here... suddenly...”
“?”
Go Yohan, with one hand in his pocket and the other pointing toward the alley he had co from, spoke nonchalantly. His lips, curled upward, revealed his sharp fangs.
“Why indeed? Why did I co from there?”
“...You didn’t wait for , did you?”
“Of course not. You’re just being overly self-conscious.”
The hand that had been pointing to the alley now returned to its place, and his long fingers dug deeply into his pants pockets. The Go Yohan before was exactly the sa as always—his signature arrogant posture intact. Slightly bowing toward , he spoke.
“I saw you coming, so I thought I’d surprise you.”
“Such a pointless thing to do...”
“Pointless, you say?”
Slowly straightening his back, Go Yohan took his hand out of his pocket—his hands, which seed like they’d never leave the pockets, were now neatly placed below his abdon. He tilted his head slightly and grinned as he raised the hand that had been in his pocket.
“Hi.”
“...?”
“Since we ran into each other by chance, let’s walk to school together.”
“What, what?”
“We should strengthen our friendship as close friends.”
Hiccup. My shoulder involuntarily jerked up. While my mind was spinning, Go Yohan took the lead. He grabbed the collar of my jacket with his thumb and index finger and pulled it in the direction I was walking. Hiccup. The hiccups didn’t stop. I quietly followed, my mind racing, and only then did he release my collar without saying a word.
The atmosphere was really unnatural.
My heart, in sync with the strange mood, thudded anxiously, as if it was going to burst, but ironically, my head remained cool. It felt like the switch to a circuit breaker had been flipped off in my mind, and I had to focus on survival. It was that kind of sensation.
Why today, of all days? It could have been a coincidence. Maybe it was just pure coincidence... but I suppressed the doubts continuously creeping up with my reason. I quietly hit my forehead.
Don’t think too deeply. It’ll be a lie when it cos back anyway.
That thought seed to clear my head to so degree. Lunch was the sa. Go Yohan, Kim Seokmin, Lee Seokhyun, the oddly more energetic Park Dongcheol, and the scheming Kim Minho were busy chatting away. To my surprise, Kim Minho was an excellent actor. He never looked at once during the entire lunch, nor did he drop any hints. Throughout the al, the two of us pretended like we didn’t know each other.
However, the ssages weren’t as subtle.
“Fucking hell, so nervous already, I’m on my second pack of cigarettes, fuck this, rolling up cigarettes.”
Of course, I ignored Kim Minho.
Irritatingly, Kim Minho never seed to tire. His nuisance continued until I was waiting for music class in the teacher’s office.
“This bastard’s talking shit again.”
At this point, I couldn’t avoid replying. I didn’t want to make things difficult.
“I’m busy.”
“What the fuck is busy? All you do is study with your head down, you little shit.”
“I’m busy doing what you can’t do.”
The alarm rang soon after, but I didn’t feel like looking at it, so I just turned off the vibration. I slipped my phone back into my pocket and sat down. The music teacher ca in, jingling keys in hand. The mont our eyes t, I jumped out of my seat.
“Good, here’s the backup key for the music room. Is this enough?”
“Yes, thank you so much for lending it to .”
“Well… It’s fine. But you should thank your horoom teacher. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t have lent it to you, no matter who you are.”
“Right. I’ll be sure to thank my horoom teacher.”
“Yeah.”
With a quick response, the bundle of keys was placed in my palm. I was about to wait for permission to go ahead, but the music teacher added a few words and gently patted my shoulder.
“Study hard.”
“Yeah…”
“Go to Korea University. The principal and vice principal are looking forward to the banner they’ll put up.”
I nodded repeatedly, pretending to be sincere. After a while of advice, the music teacher collapsed into a nearby chair and waved their fingers, signaling to go. I bent deeply and left. As soon as I closed the door behind , I leaned against it and let out a despairing breath. Ha, shit.
“Ha, so this is what it really feels like to be fucked over.”
I puffed air into one side of my mouth in frustration, tossing it around.
“Do I really have to go this far...?”
But if I don’t do this, I wouldn’t survive. Especially with soone like Kim Minho, that bastard, around. I exhaled the air I’d held in my mouth and pulled out my phone. I regretted looking at the screen. Fuck, I read the ssage trash. The pile of ssages accumulated in such a short ti was ridiculous.
“Fuck you, you little shit, what happened?”
“Keep talking and I’ll steal your twenty corns and beat the shit out of you.”
“Are you talking shit? You little bastard, are you talking shit?”
“Kang Jun, you little shit, Go Yohan’s dick sucker, you’re gonna die.”
I want to kill myself right now. The fact that I'm being stopped by this piece of shit.
"After class, in the music room, the key is in my locker. Number 28."
"How the hell did you get the key, you crazy bastard?"
I ignored him again. Every ti I saw his ridiculous grammar, I beca distressed by the realization that I was being used by soone like him. And now wasn’t the ti to waste. I had to quickly tell Go Yohan to co to the music room...
"What the hell are we even doing, damn it..."
My legs, which had been standing firm, crumpled. I slid down the wall and sat on the floor. My hands were already soaked in sweat. My conscience scread. Are you really going to do this? Do you even know what will happen? If I thought about it for too long, I would imdiately want to go back and return the key, but then, sowhere deep inside —where I hadn’t even known it existed—this strange emotion would claw at my mind.
He doesn’t care about your well-being. He just wants whatever’s good for him, whatever’s fun for him. You know that to Go Yohan, you’re nothing more than a joke, just a plaything. So, you better survive this, Kang Jun.
Buzzing, my phone vibrated in my hand. The fleeting thought that sparked and disappeared was my true feeling.
‘The only one who can protect in this world is , and the only ally I have is myself.’
I looked at the screen. It was Go Yohan. Startled by his sudden ssage, I fumbled for a response, but before I could even react, the door opened and music blared out.
“What are you doing? Class started a while ago.”
Shit. I quickly checked the ti. I had been staring at the clock the entire ti and still didn’t notice. What a fool I am.
“S-sorry.”
Damn it. I hurriedly stood and ran down the stairs. The wind rattled the windows violently as I descended. I stopped briefly, looking at the trees shaking madly in the wind. The wind howled strangely through the window cracks, and the sound felt unsettling. It felt like the world was coming to an end.
I roughly ruffled the back of my head, thinking about sothing ridiculous.
Back in class, I had to make a poor excuse.
Next to , soone half-jokingly threw out a question. "Kang Jun, do you smoke?" I ignored the unnecessary comnt. Since I didn’t react, they quickly quieted down.
When class ended, I turned my body and looked at Go Yohan, who signaled for to co. What could I do? I got up and walked toward him. He was sitting with his back against the chair, his hands in his pockets. As I approached, he straightened up and spoke.
“Why are you so late to class? What, are you just going to keep ssing around? Hey, you little punk.”
“Punk? I’m not the one who’s a punk, you are.”
“Kang Jun, you should have a conscience. Did I study more than you?”
His hand, which had been resting on his chest, caught my eye. I looked at his neatly trimd nails and inhaled quietly. After hesitating, I finally spoke. I had to do it now, it was a realistic decision.
“Go Yohan.”
“Huh? What?”
“After class…”
The words I tried to force out froze in my mouth. The heavy weight of life pressed down on . It wasn’t just my weight; it was Go Yohan’s weight too. Oh, god, I was such an idiot. My chest tightened, and I struggled to breathe.
At that mont, Go Yohan narrowed his eyes and stared at —really stared at , as if he were piercing through .
“What’s wrong, are you okay?”
Should I do it? Should I not? Will you survive, or will you save Go Yohan? Will you kill Go Yohan just to save yourself? Or will you save him, the one who deceived you, and let him play more tricks on you?
Buzzing, I felt my thigh vibrate. It was as if sothing was chasing . Even though no one was paying attention, it felt like thousands of eyes were staring at . And what those eyes were saying...
Poor Kang.
My mind snapped back, and reflexively, I spoke.
“Let’s et after class in the music room.”
Once the words were out, I couldn’t take them back. But my hands, as if trying to collect sothing, pressed against my mouth. A flood of emotions surged. I might have thought I made a mistake. I wouldn’t have done this under normal circumstances. Normally... I would have acted more wisely...
I watched Go Yohan’s expression change slowly, and I felt like everything was over.
****
When I get to the music room, Kim Minho will be hiding behind the curtains. There’s no other place in the music room where it’s easier to hide. The velvet curtains are thick, not see-through, and heavy enough to conceal a person perfectly.
As soon as horoom ended, I ran to the music room like I was escaping. I dropped my bag on the desk and muttered quietly to myself, "Damn," and, just as expected, I heard the sound of snickering from behind the curtains.
“Is that you, Kim Minho?”
“Yeah, shit, you're getting nervous quick.”
“…So what, you asshole?”
“You’re doing this because you like it, right? Shut your mouth. Hey, shut the hell up, Director Kim is coming.”
The music room, which was well-soundproofed, beca silent again. Not even the slightest noise could be heard. It was swallowed up by the soundproofing material on the walls. It felt just like the suffocating weight in my chest.
I wanted to die in an aquarium like this.
Why, of all people, did Kim Minho have to appear in this situation? I wanted to smash the head of that trash who repaid kindness in such a strange way with a hamr. But for the sake of my future, I needed to obey what Kim Minho said. No, I had to. Damn. I bit my lip and forced myself to hold back the rising disgust. This humiliation would lead to a safe future, and a comfortable graduation, I hoped.
I kicked the floor. The door creaked open. The sound of pent-up noise rushed out through a small crack. A strangely cold air flowed in. I looked up. Go Yohan was standing with a bag slung over one shoulder.
“Jun.”
That expression, that expression was full of regret. That slightly flushed face.
“Why did you call here all of a sudden?”
“Oh, hi.”
“I’ve already said hi this morning. Why the hell…?”
“Well, the thing is…”
I couldn’t get the words out. I scratched the back of my hand with my nails. My whole body felt itchy. It was uncomfortable. I scratched at the maddening itch, even though it made my skin burn. Even though my nails dug into my skin, the itch wouldn’t stop. It felt like centipedes were crawling in my mind.
“Well, you know. The thing is, uh…”
“Hey! What the fuck are you doing?”
Suddenly, Go Yohan frowned and ran over to grab my hand. Only then did I notice the cuts on my hand. Blood was flowing from between the lines of multiple shallow gashes. Panicking, I looked at my other hand. The tips of my nails were slightly stained with pink flesh.
“Ah, shit…”
Go Yohan, his face pale, grabbed my hand tightly and imdiately threw his bag. Trash spilled out of it, even unfinished water bottles. Hastily grabbing a plastic bottle from the pile of rubbish, Go Yohan poured water over my hand.
The sting made squeeze my eyes shut, and in that mont, I realized... the end had arrived.
Ah, today is my end.
“...Yohan.”
“Don’t speak. Just stay still.”
“Kim Minho told he wants to confess I like you.”
His hand, which had been carefully pouring the water, froze. Slowly, with his gaze lowered slightly from a lower angle, Go Yohan raised his eyes to look at . Transparent eyes. Go Yohan was, as Gorosa had said, a sociopath who craved love and affection. My guilt was sothing Go Yohan gave . The glance we shared and my now calm mind answered . The centipedes in my mind vanished.
“...Kim Minho?”
The ending ca more suddenly than I expected. Didn’t Han Junwoo do the sa?
I didn’t co to hate Han Junwoo because I liked Go Yohan. It was just that Han Junwoo himself had crossed the limit of the pain I could handle. The hand Go Yohan held didn’t burn. Yeah, in that mont, I understood the answer. I loved myself the most. That was the truth.
Ah, so that’s what it was.
I’m becoming an adult. And unlike others, I’m becoming one carefully. And at least, I decided not to beco a bad person like Go Yohan. I’ve never once knowingly pushed soone into a pit of malice. I don’t want to leave a stain on my life. So, like Han Taesan said, maybe I’m a little weirdly kind.
So, this was the last gift I was giving to Go Yohan.
No, maybe it was a choice for my future self. A selfish choice for Kang Jun, who would destroy the person he loved and never escape regret. Not for Go Yohan, but for .
I always find the right answer in the end.
“He told to tell you he likes you, and he’s going to spread a video. He said he’s gonna screw you over.”
“…What?”
“And he’s behind that curtain right now.”
I pointed toward the curtain with my uninjured hand. The rustling of the curtain moving was heard.
It was the mont that marked the end of my eighteen years, a little longer than most.
The large hand that had been holding my wrist slowly released. Then, very slowly, it began to climb the stairs toward the curtain. I watched the movent, and when Go Yohan reached the end of the curtain, it clearly seed like the curtain was trembling like a quaking aspen.
Go Yohan leaned forward, grabbed the curtain, and with a dramatic flourish, the curtain was pulled back like the final act of a play.
“…What the hell are you doing?”
“Hey, you bastard!”
Kim Minho, now fully revealed, glared at . But I ignored him and looked at the ss of cuts on my hand. Water, which hadn’t been wiped off, dripped onto the floor. I shook my damp hand, as though the events unfolding in front of had nothing to do with .
“What the hell is this?”
Kim Minho’s phone was imdiately snatched away. Go Yohan, after glancing at the outdated model, suddenly threw it at the wall. It hit a pillar that wasn’t covered with soundproof foam. A sharp noise rang out.
The weapon was destroyed so cheaply.
After tossing the phone nonchalantly, Go Yohan flicked his bangs and stood tall. His gaze, looking down with his chin raised, was cold. Kim Minho was in shock, probably devastated by his phone, shattered into pieces.
“Hey, hey!”
“Wow, didn’t expect it, but Kim Minho is really a bad guy.”
“Shit, you Kang Jun... you bastard...”
“Bastard? If Jun didn’t tell , what would I have done?”
Go Yohan, taking a few steps back with a swagger, pointed at with his thumb. One hand, as usual, was in his pocket. It looked so relaxed.
“I almost beca the fool, right?”
Go Yohan used as an excuse. But I said nothing, just grabbing my bag.
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