"Ah, it's so tight," he muttered lowly, cursing under his breath before he lifted himself up and leaned over again. The presence and warmth of Go Yohan pressed down on . My waist bent painfully, and my hips naturally rose. My upper body was dragged further down. As my posture broke, the flesh inside crushed intensely pleasurable spots. Just before I could scream, I grabbed the blanket and covered my mouth.
Tears stread down my face uncontrollably.
Our bodies slamd together violently, making a wet sound. Each ti Go Yohan's abdon and my lower body separated, a sticky, translucent liquid stretched between us, making lewd noises. My penis, which shook unsupported, ejaculated continuously onto my stomach every ti it was pressed hard.
I wanted to reach out, to touch, and to rub. That's all I could think of. While shedding tears, my other hand moved to grab my penis. However, just as my fingertips touched it, Go Yohan caught my hand.
I glared at Go Yohan resentfully, but he just pressed my hand down.
"Ah, stay stuck," he taunted in his usual mocking, playful tone.
"It's mine now. Since it seems quite tasty, since it tightens up so much."
I wanted to curse him, call him a bastard, but if I opened my mouth, I would moan. Just recklessly thrusting, I didn’t even know how this bastard could last so long; I just wanted to co first by wildly touching the front. So, I briefly freed my hand and begged.
"Please, I want to co first. Please."
I tried to grab it after removing the hand that covered my mouth, but it was caught again. No matter how hard I twisted, it was pressed down firmly. Now, I didn't even have a hand to stop my moans. Realizing my mistake, I cried even harder.
"Let go, ah!"
"Fuck, it's your fault. Ah, it's your fault."
"Let this go... Ah, ah! Ah!"
"Because you always stand so high and mighty among the trash, fuck, I thought you were just a stupidly good guy who only gets bullied by others...! I've been so good to you, and it turns out you're even darker and dirtier than those crow-like bastards."
"Ah!"
"If I had known earlier that you were such a bastard... Fuck."
As the penis entered rcilessly, crushing whether it was a sensitive spot or not, my mouth opened involuntarily. It hurt, and pleasure exploded, making my mind go blank. The world shook violently, the flesh of my buttocks stung, and I felt dizzy. I was becoming a fool. I wanted to touch the front. I wanted to touch it to death.
"Please, please... Oh, please!"
"Jun, why did you do that then? To , why?"
"Huh, hic!"
As his hand firmly held my wrist, it suddenly moved down the inside of my thigh. Each ti the hot touch grazed the sensitive flesh, my thoughts scattered like air. Climbing up my hip joint, it firmly grasped the space between my waist and buttocks. There was no chance to ask what he was doing.
My body was lifted. My arm was caught as I staggered. His firm hand pulled my arm and draped it behind my neck. Slightly sweaty, fluttering hair stuck to my collarbone. In an instant, the scent I liked drenched . Ah, Go Yohan had co into my embrace.
As if intoxicated by the scent, my body stretched out. When I thought it had co in as far as it could, it pushed in more forcefully inside. Sitting on Go Yohan's thighs, my legs stretched back and bent inward. The blanket moved softly along my toes.
"Ah, ahhh..."
The emptied part was filled tightly without any gaps. Go Yohan, holding my waist and buttocks to the bursting point, lifted the body he held and plunged down without hesitation. My hands instinctively found Go Yohan's back. I stroked and slid them. Wanting to touch Go Yohan's scars was my first impulse, even more than covering my mouth because of the embarrassnt of moaning. But each ti it thrust from below upward, my mouth inevitably opened with a short gasp, "Ah, ha, ah."
"Look at ."
When I blinked weakly at those words, Go Yohan first threw back his head. The hand holding my waist pressed my body tightly against his penis, and without a chance to escape, he pressed down hard on my back. It felt like I was about to burst from being so full. A thrilling sensation rose from a part that was rubbed at an awkward angle. My calves trembled finely.
"Yo, Yohan... I feel like I'm going to die."
Please put down. That was what I ant to say. But instead, Go Yohan pulled in deeper.
His tongue slowly licked below my eyes. Ah, the moist, warm flesh gently touched my tear-soaked cheeks. Half-opening my eyes and looking down, I saw Go Yohan, licking my tears like a cat, appearing lasciviously. He kept licking around my eyes, driving crazy. It was almost painful. Thus, Go Yohan carefully licked my tears and sotis kissed my jaw, sucking on it.
"Yohan, ah..."
"Damn."
I, intoxicated by his face, first grabbed his neck and bowed my head further. Wet lips t. They overlapped, and the tongue that tried to co out mixed. Kisses always tasted salty. Maybe because I cried. Go Yohan looked a bit surprised, then slowly closed his eyes. I did the sa.
Go Yohan's kiss was always cautious, and even though we had improved, we were still awkward. It wasn't like his face at all. The heat that barely touched Go Yohan was the sa. The mixed tongues made a sticky sound, and soon Go Yohan bit my lower lip and stretched it out. The separated lips traveled down my neck. Wet downy hairs stood on end. After kissing several tis while descending, his lips sucked sowhere around my chest.
"..."
I lifted the hand that was around Go Yohan's neck and bit my mouth. It felt like my mind was going to explode. Soon my thoughts stopped. Suddenly, the large hand that gripped my buttocks moved, and vigorous thrusts began. My vision shook fiercely, and to avoid falling, I clung to Go Yohan's neck. The thick tip ca out and thrust in fiercely, giving an unfamiliar sensation every ti it touched my inner wall.
"Wait a minute. Oh, I'm going crazy... Slow, slow..."
"Yeah, I like you, I like you. Fuck... I fucking love you."
"Ah, ahhh...!"
I had no thoughts at all. I couldn't understand what Go Yohan was saying or what I was doing. Despite my best effort to keep my mouth shut, my strength gave way, and it felt like saliva would escape if I turned my head. I just didn't know. The violent pounding made want to tighten below, yet I wanted it to thrust harder.
"If only you hadn't tricked Han Junwoo back then... If only you hadn't played those tricks, it might have just been a few thrusts and done..."
"...Ugh."
"It's your fault... It's all your fault. If only you hadn't done that..."
My toes curled, and my knees lifted on their own. Go Yohan's body pressed down on mine as if to crush . The crumpled sheet rubbed against my back. The hot lips bit my ear, then my shoulder, intensifying the stimulation. The greatest pleasure was Go Yohan's rough breathing. Each ti it reached my ears, my inner walls tightened.
"Ugh."
Go Yohan's face scrunched up. Even in the midst of it, I thought his face looked incredibly lewd. The mont it thrust fully to the root, I reached out and wrapped my arms around the body in front of . My stiff body twisted, grabbing his back and neck. The rough skin touched my fingertips.
"Huuk!"
My inner walls tightened crazily, feeling the vivid movents inside.
Go Yohan, Go Yohan. Go Yohan's sweat, scent, temperature. All of it filled up. The penis that had already ejaculated everything it could, pathetically leaked the last of its fluid. My head beca foggy as if burnt out.
"Haa... Haa..."
His heavy weight pressed down on my whole body. I stretched out my unresponsive body. Only Go Yohan's breathing was heard next to my ear. The penis that hadn't yet pulled out trembled slightly as if it was trying to release the remaining sen inside . I couldn't even wipe my tear-soaked cheeks; I just panted heavily.
A long sigh followed, and the sweaty body rolled off. Go Yohan sat up and t my eyes. I sniffed but didn't look away. I just stared at Go Yohan as he straightened up and caught his breath while looking down at .
"Fuck, if I knew being covered in sen would look this pretty."
"..."
"I doubt it would have just been a few thrusts and done."
He said that with a hollow laugh.
"Why do you have to cry when you get excited? It's so arousing."
His arm was long enough that a slight bow brought his hand to my cheek. The hand that carefully wiped my face was cautious. It's ridiculous. He was so rcilessly harsh lower down. I felt Go Yohan's touch as I closed my eyes and then let out a chuckle.
"Just pull out..."
My voice was hoarse from how strained my throat was. But ironically, a lethargy ca over . I didn't want to do anything, didn't even want to twitch a finger. The bed shifted a little as Go Yohan moved. I felt sothing slip out between my legs. When the thick tip snagged and twisted out with a 'pop' sound, I wanted to get up and run away imdiately. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw Go Yohan holding the condom, unsure what to do, then he just threw it on the floor.
Both his extended hand and his sweat-soaked body were incredibly lewd.
Suddenly, I thought it was fortunate that Go Yohan's first ti was with . I wanted to kick him when he pressed his thumb down on my still panting area, trying to grasp my posture and look below . But I didn't have the energy to do so.
"It's still twitching, you."
"I really wish you were dead."
"How does it feel to have your virginity taken?"
"Please..."
As I cald down, I reflected on the words Go Yohan had said while we were rging. I wasn't in my right mind, but the words had been clear.
I couldn't move, as if nailed to the bed. But I tried to gather my senses.
Go Yohan chuckled softly, gently stroking the trembling crevice as if soothing a wound. Honestly, the touch made it sting more. And strangely, looking at the calm Go Yohan, I faintly realized why he had cried the first ti we rged.
My heart, which had been pounding fiercely, slowly cald down. Go Yohan's hand tornting below didn't stop. Bastard. Even though I glared at him, Go Yohan just shrugged his shoulders. His face was still full of mischief. Hah. Eventually, I sighed and gave up on shaking him off. I struggled to open my heavy eyes and spoke.
"Go Yohan."
"Why."
"...How did you know?"
His response ca after a while.
"Know what."
As Go Yohan hesitated to answer, I did a lot of thinking. I was dazed and restless. After a long thought, I carefully spoke up.
"When you fought, I grabbed Han Junwoo's uniform and pulled him back."
The hand that had been tornting the crevice stopped abruptly. The eyes looking at wavered. I tried to continue speaking but took a breath instead. It was hard to talk for long with my exhausted body.
"How did you know?"
The paused hand moved again. As if playing a prank, it spread and pressed, turning its gaze away. Go Yohan, who had been silently looking below, finally spoke reluctantly.
"It's obvious when you see soone falling backward without even a touch."
"..."
"Did you think you could fool even ?"
I had nothing to say. I pursed my lips and looked at my right hand. I then lowered my arm and slowly propped myself up on my elbows. Every movent made my joints and tailbone feel as if they were shattered. Ugh... As I grimaced, Go Yohan quickly grabbed my waist and helped up. We faced each other.
Go Yohan filled my vision. Then I thought, sohow, Go Yohan should have won. For my perfect future. But to think that Go Yohan knew that. I let out a hollow laugh. I thought no one knew because I hadn’t said anything.
“I thought I wouldn’t get caught.”
“You shouldn’t have been caught.”
“...Even if I hadn’t done it, you would have won anyway.”
At my words, Go Yohan flicked the blanket in annoyance.
“Yeah, but why did you do it? ...You don’t know how confused I was because of you then.”
“...”
“You don’t know, damn it.”
This ti he grabbed the blanket in his hand and threw it aside, then slowly opened his mouth.
“After that, you suddenly acted friendly and kind towards , you don’t know how weird that was for . It seed like you wanted sothing from . What is it? Why is he like this? Damn, but even then, I thought that. Yes, if you had co over, I might have been willing to forgive you a bit...”
“Go Yohan.”
“What, fuck.”
“When did you start hating Han Junwoo?”
It was a sudden question. I thought so myself. Go Yohan must have felt the sa. Without reason, Go Yohan, who was scratching the blanket, closed his mouth. However, I felt strangely anxious. I asked again as if urging.
“Did you hate him from the first ti you saw him?”
“Who would like that guy? I hated him enough to want to kill him from the first ti I saw him.”
“Why?”
“What do you care?”
He clenched his fist hard and pressed it into the bed. As Go Yohan glared into space, my gaze drifted to his ear. His ears, visible through his tousled hair, were bright red. I lifted my hand. I desperately wanted to touch his frayed, vulnerable earlobe. I pulled my body forward as if enchanted, slowly extended my arm, and lightly touched it. At the sa ti, Go Yohan pulled back and looked at with surprised eyes.
The cool temperature remained on my hand. I smiled satisfied.
“Why, why.”
Looking at Go Yohan, who asked in confusion, I hesitated a bit before speaking.
“Yohan, are you curious why I pulled Han Junwoo's back?”
“...”
There was no answer from Go Yohan, but his eyes filled with confusion and questions were not deceitful. I lowered my hand while lifting my lips. Each ti I spoke, I had to swallow heavily because my throat was sore. There wasn’t a single part of my body that wasn’t hurting. But I didn’t stop speaking.
A breath was swallowed, and a mont that felt as eternal as an eternity passed. My mouth opened.
“Actually, by then, I already liked you.”
Confusion mixed into the eyes that held doubt and questions. Of course, I truly started liking Go Yohan after that, but for soone who liked lies like Go Yohan, this level of a lie was affectionate.
“I wished you had beaten Han Junwoo.”
However, it seed Go Yohan didn’t believe all of my words.
“It’s a lie.”
“...It’s true.”
“Don’t lie.”
“Why do you think it’s a lie?”
“It doesn’t make sense!”
Go Yohan shouted with a confused face. At the sa ti, his small eyes moved anxiously.
“It doesn’t make sense that you like .”
“Why doesn’t it make sense?”
It’s absurd. Had I been that good at hiding my feelings? Actually, I thought I had gotten caught well. And we had even had sex. Or does he think I would have sex with soone I don’t even like? I was baffled too.
“...”
“...Why doesn’t it make sense?”
“You, you...”
It seed like Go Yohan was trying to find excuses for not liking . His face scoured as if he couldn’t think of anything convincing, couldn’t understand it, so he didn’t know. I spoke with a sense of absurdity.
“Why did I do such a foolish thing when I went to your house?”
“It’s because you belittled ...”
“What benefit would I have from belittling you? What could I possibly gain?”
Go Yohan’s pupils shook madly. “Ah, uh, that, that…” His small trembling words disintegrated into the air. Ah, this is why people do ugly things. This was it. I understood why a lovesick fool was so abhorrent. I had been that fool. How could I not want to let go of the foolish Go Yohan?
Go Yohan’s eyes turned red. Simultaneously, my emotions also heightened.
“Idiot, I did all that because I liked you.”
My love always started with sacrifice. That was my way all along.
Ah, it was all over now. The teenage folly I had resolved never to die of had ended so vainly. Speaking didn’t change anything. The world didn’t collapse, nor did my head burst.
Only one thing changed. Go Yohan’s face. A face blooming like a flower contained doubt and an indescribable joy of hope. That fragrance was directed solely at . Intoxicated by the flower that blood only for , I put an end to it once again. Well, after all I had done, this wasn't hard.
“I swear on your religion.”
In the end, it ant staking myself.
"Kang Jun has actually liked Go Yohan since he was eighteen," I confessed.
And I, who had done such things because I hated seeing Go Yohan's tears, had to watch them again. His reddened eyes welled up with transparent drops.
"Yohan-ah."
I didn't know what to do. I reached out hurriedly to wipe them away, but a strong force pushed back, and I fell.
"Ah, ouch..."
A pain so intense it felt like my bottom was falling out made squint my eyes. Why is this happening now? I moaned in pain and looked up, then froze. Go Yohan was crying. His thin eyes were bulging. The trembling hand that touched my face was palpable through the skin contact, exploring and stroking my face one by one. Honestly, his smiling face in that mont was detestable. But I had no strength to resist. I willingly smiled back, raising my hand.
"Move over now."
As I tried to push the increasingly heavy Go Yohan away, I felt sothing hot and hard growing between my legs. Surely, the surge of lust I felt was draining away in an instant.
"Wait a minute. Go Yohan. Don’t tell you... Ugh."
I couldn't continue. His clumsy lips found mine again. But instead of deepening the kiss, he just lightly pressed his lips to mine and smiled gently. The touch of his lips was ticklish. Unlike before, his attitude was almost sacred, as if taking an oath.
"Jun-ah."
Holy, Go Yohan? That's absurd.
"Jun-ah."
"No..."
As he called my na, why was he prying open the space I had just closed? No matter how much I pushed with trembling hands, it was useless. Suddenly, why, how could I form words? I struggled as Go Yohan turned his head to kiss . He pressed lightly. Each separation made a wet sound. Soon, a penis that seed thicker than before pushed into the loosened hole. I twisted my hips in shock and stiffened.
"...Ugh. Hey!"
The whisper that ca with our lips still joined traveled down to my neck.
"It’s okay. Even if what you said is a lie, it’s okay."
I tried to close my mouth, but Go Yohan grabbed my chin and forced it open. My resistance was thus blocked. Ah, ah... A restrained moan burst out. Below, the sensation of more room than before made it easier for it to enter. Any struggle was now futile. Tears burst out at the sensation of it deeply embedded more than halfway.
Ah, this bastard.
"Jun-ah. Why did you confess to soone obsessed with religion?"
The friction heated my inner walls, moving smoothly. The flesh that slipped in pulsed with my heartbeat, sending sensations throughout my nerves. The space filled with Go Yohan moved gently. The hand I stretched out to block Go Yohan was quickly caught and pressed down on the bed. The firm waist touching below gently moved, and I bit my lip as the sensation of dying began again.
Finally, Go Yohan who was pressing down on smiled.
"A vow ans that the words that end in your mouth must start with your mouth. That’s why it's a vow."
"..."
"Thank you, Jun-ah. For the promises you will continue to keep for ."
Like the sunny smile I once glimpsed, bright as life. The most intense and chaotic tis of my eighteen years had rooted themselves in my life. I pulled myself out of the grip on my waist, but then sank back down at the sensation of re-entering.
"Ugh..."
I closed my eyes and propped myself up on the bed with my arms. Each ti I forcibly moved Go Yohan's penis in and out, a squelching sound ca from below.
"Ah..."
The mont I moaned alone, the silent Go Yohan suddenly exerted strength in the hand holding my waist. Before I could assess the situation, my body, which had been moving alone on the bed, was suddenly dragged down. I felt the sensation of the blanket sliding down my back and accepted what was about to happen. Inside was deeply filled, stiflingly so. Ah, it would hurt again, surely.
But then, isn't life always about consequences?
My consequence is Go Yohan. That's worth enough.
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