After she had finished breakfast, Camilla’s ladies dragged her out of her chambers and insisted she watch a mumr’s play that was being perford in one of the courtyards. Camilla glanced around, slightly disoriented. The gardens were all in full blossom, a riot of colour and scent.
How long did I shut myself away from everything? Camilla wondered idly. It felt like she had been away from the activity of the court for months and while she’d been gone, springti had blood in earnest.
"There’s another joust in a few days, my lady. Surely you’ll join us for it, won’t you?" Katerine’s voice jarred her back from her thoughts.
Camilla looked at her friend’s eager face and nodded. So long as Richard was gone, there was no real reason to hide anymore.
She shook her head and then rubbed her eyes, feeling overwheld as conflicting emotions ran through her. These last few days had been so of the most difficult, most painful of her life. And yet, there had also been monts of excruciating joy and warmth. She had discovered a love she had never even thought was an option for her.
She shivered when she thought of the safety and contentnt she felt when in William’s warm embrace, not to ntion the pleasure he wrought from her when his hands were on her body.
Who knows what the future looks like or how long my happiness will last? Events can flip on a knife edge. But if this is my season in the sun, Camilla thought grimly, I should savour every mont. If and when things go wrong, I’ll worry about it then.
- - -
Camilla eventually walked back towards her apartnts, with Katerine and g heading towards their own shared room and calling out they’d return to Camilla’s presence chamber within the hour so they could all head to the great hall together.
Camilla expected Elizabeth to say the sa thing and head to the rooms she shared with her husband, to get ready for dinner. However, the young woman lingered, as if there was sothing else on her mind.
"Is everything alright, Bess?" Camilla looked at her friend’s grave expression.
Elizabeth nodded and then opened her mouth as if to speak before clamping it shut. She then frowned as if weighing the impact of her words. "My lady," she at last started tentatively. "Please don’t mistake my intentions. I’m so happy to see that you’re happy and that the prince is treating you well. I’ll be happier still on your wedding day. But..."
Camilla swallowed, suddenly nervous. Elizabeth was the most levelheaded of her ladies. "But what?"
"Well..." Elizabeth started fidgeting with the sash around her waist. "You said the king had decreed the two of you will marry in August, correct? That is still three months away. A great deal can occur between now and then. Have you considered that, when planning your next actions?"
Camilla felt dread rising in her belly. Of course, a million things could change within three months.
Including William’s love for you? A tiny, insecure voice whispered in Camilla’s head.
What if William found himself infatuated right now but his affection started to wane as the weeks passed? He wasn’t one for long relationships and would’ve ford past attachnts with won far more experienced than her. If they hadn’t succeeded in holding his attention, what chance did she have?
It would be a sword to her heart if by the ti they reached their wedding date, he’d already grown bored of her. Perhaps he’d even ask King Edward to break the betrothal if he tired of her before August.
"My lady?" Elizabeth peered with concern at Camilla’s dark expression.
"I know what you’re suggesting Bess, and it’s not sothing that hasn’t already crossed my mind."
Camilla hated that her most deeply rooted insecurities were sohow easy for others to spot. Even though her lady-in-waiting had a kind heart, it still made Camilla feel uncomfortably exposed that others knew her fears. She hated being the focus of others’ pity.
"You’re worried I’m setting myself up for failure, aren’t you? You fear William might lose interest in before August rolls around." Camilla tried but failed to not make her voice accusatory.
"What?" Elizabeth gave a little hiss of outrage and hauled Camilla by her elbow through the presence chamber and into her bedchamber. She then shut the door tightly and faced her royal mistress.
"My lady, I said no such thing! And I apologise for using these next words, but have you run mad?" Elizabeth’s eyes bulged. "Prince William adores you. Anyone can see that. Please don’t tell you doubt his affection because if you do, I’m afraid I’ll have to slap you for thinking unhinged thoughts."
"Then what are we talking about if not that?" Camilla snapped back. "What are you referring to when you say that much can happen in three months?"
Elizabeth’s face turned scarlet.
"Bess! Out with it! Whatever it is you’re thinking about, I need to know!" Part of Camilla was buoyed that Elizabeth thought William wouldn’t grow tired of her. But it that wasn’t the issue, then what was? What could be worse?
"You’ve already lain with him." Elizabeth’s face was still red but her voice was flat and utterly confident.
"What?" Camilla’s jaw nearly hit the floor. She sunk down on her bed.
"You have, haven’t you, my lady? I can tell."
Camilla tried to be evasive. "What would make you think such a thing has happened?"
"My lady, I’m a married woman. Perhaps it isn’t obvious to g and Katerine. But it is to so please don’t lie to my face." Elizabeth sounded annoyed.
"But...how, I an...?" Camilla wanted so hard to keep denying the truth but instead found herself stamring under her lady’s gaze.
Elizabeth shrugged. "It’s not easy to explain but a mixture of little things. You have a glow about you. The two of you seed completely at ease together physically when you sat next to each other to share breakfast. And then there’s the prince’s mannerisms..."
"Oh lord. What mannerisms?" Camilla could feel her face turning as red as Elizabeth’s had been a minute ago.
The lady snorted indelicately. "His incredibly smug face was a dead giveaway. As was his walk. If the man could have pounded his chest and crowed like a rooster this morning, I’m sure he would’ve."
"Bess!" Camilla wailed. "The humiliation is killing , I swear!" She placed a hand over her eyes, then peeped through the splayed fingers like a child trying to hide. "And please don’t tell anyone, not even the other ladies."
Elizabeth doubled over with giggles. "Of course I’ll keep this to myself. I’m not trying to sha you, my lady. I’m glad he makes you happy and that all those rumours of him having prowess between the sheets have proven true." Then her face turned very serious. "But my point is, if you continue to lie with him in the months before you’re married, you put yourself at risk."
"You an the risk of him getting bored of ?"
"No! I an the risk of you falling with child and then having to explain to everyone why you ended up giving birth less that nine months after your wedding night!" Elizabeth clapped back, exasperated.
Camilla felt a sliver of ice sliding down her back. The possibility had never even crossed her mind, though she knew it should have. Elizabeth was right - any hint of scandal or impropriety could change everything.
"Bess, you said you could tell...just by looking at ." Camilla felt queasy asking but she had to know. "Is that the case for everyone? Would the king now know from seeing this morning?"
Elizabeth pondered as her eyebrows knitted together. "I don’t think n are as perceptive about these things. And I would think if the king suspected such a thing had taken place, he wouldn’t have hidden his anger from you."
Camilla gulped, deciding not to tell her friend of King Edward’s threat to imprison her in a nunnery and exile William.
"But my advice to you would be to avoid lying together again until you’re married, my lady. Imagine the consequences if you were caught together."
"William will protest." Camilla said weakly. "He’ll argue that no one needs to know so long as we’re careful-"
"When are n ever careful when dominated by their lusts?" Elizabeth gave Camilla a pointed look.
This was the man who had hidden them in a corridor alcove earlier that day, just so they could take their pleasure. Camilla’s cheeks flad again when she rembered how he’d pressed his hand against her mouth to muffle her heated cries, yet watched her the entire ti with wicked fascination. She realised her lady-in-waiting was right. William was inherently a risk taker.
"You’re right, Bess." Camilla nodded resolutely. "I’ll speak to him about it later tonight."
"Good luck with that conversation then, my lady." Elizabeth said sweetly. "If you’ve never heard your betrothed roar with displeasure before, you’re in for a new experience."
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