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Chapter 13: Kiss The Angel Then Dog? by Harem-Fan
To my dearest Sona Sitri,
You are my moon in the Underworld, and your bespectacled beauty has moved my cold and lustful heart.
The thing that has driven into this passion frenzy, would be that dazzling mind of yours. The breath of your intelligence moves my every action!
I ask nothing from my love, other than to accept my gift of power and security. Please allow to bestow upon you so knowledge of events from the future, that will give you your dreams!
What will I give to my lovely water goddess, you ask? I give you the certainty of forming your dream Rating Ga School for all Devils!
The second thing my gift will bestow upon my love, is the ability to dominate the other youth Devils in the rating gas, and claim your well deserved place as the Underworld's greatest mind.
What this humble and lowly Great will give to my Devil Goddess is ...
A Black Dragon Sacred Gear user, the future fastest Devil, and for the grand finally the crowning achievent for your Peerage... The Red Dragon Emperor himself!
Like any good Devil I have very easy and simple terms, they are as follows...
1: No one outside of your peerage is to know of this information, especially your friend Rias Gremory!
2: The Red Dragon Sacred Gear user will require all 8 of your Pawn Pieces to reincarnate to you! Yes their potential is that great, I guarantee in roughly 3 years he will be almost as strong as your Sister the Magical Girl Devil King.
3: The Black Dragon, Saji Genshirou, will require your last Rook piece. The speedster Nimura Ruruko, will need your last Knight Piece... I gave you the identity of these 2 as my first token of my love for you.
4: If any of the above conditions aren't t, I will timidly send the Red Dragon to one of your House's rivals... I may love you with all of my heart, but I'm the greatest Devil mind in the Underworld, so I have my pride!
5: If you wish to claim the Red Dragon for your Sitri House, the Underworld, and your future happiness... Then on the first week back from your vacation, have your Queen, Tsubaki Shinra, wear a dical mask to your Human school! My spies in the Human world will see this sign, and within the next week, I will trick the user of Red Heavenly Dragon to approach you himself!
Finally to my sadness, I will have to end this love letter and pine for you in my heart, for we aren't destined to be together in this lifeti.
I hope in our next lives, we can et once more then we can let our souls finally be at peace.
From your one and only, Great !
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Soooooooo yeah, that is the typed up letter currently sitting on Sona's desk!
I had gone to an out of the way computer shop and typed up this catastrophe!
I used gloves and the like to hide my identity as best I could. Not sure what kinda tracking magic the Devils have?
I then had my friendly animal friends deliver this into the office and will play... The Waiting Ga.
Why am I beating myself up about this one might ask?
Simple, I was drunk off my fucking rocker!
Stupid Japan has beer in fucking vending machines, no joke!
Well stupid , that used to kick back drinks in life zero, liked to partake once in a while and I had a high tolerance.
However the key word is, had!
Welp, a couple of beers and a reenactnt of... The Hangover, movie!
I woke up realizing everything I did the previous night with full recollection of my stupid actions.
So I seem to have a drinking constitution between Grayfia and Rose from D×D. Go figure, I'm in a world based on it!
So the letter was not the only cri I committed that night, sadly no, I'm really good at doing really, really, stupid things!
I had used plants and critters to plant Boys Love books, in both of my friends' hos while they were at work at the beach... Then had the little friends make enough disturbance in the ho to alert their parents to investigate their sons' rooms.
Yes this was a cri against the Bro Code, and this ti I'm sorry guys!
Was that all I did? Fuck no!
Apparently Drunk thought the old ani abandoned church needed a lot of animal poop, freshly delivered onto their front porch.
How did Drunk even co up with that shit!? Huh, I seem to have made a joke there.
Even though Karen and I t up plenty, after that magical night, she went back to her Friend Zone mode...
Not gonna lie, I thought we would have been in her apartnt getting to know each other more intimately, at least that's how all the fan-fiction say it is supposed to be.
Well sadly no, the girls don't just jump on your manhood at first eting... Damn lying fan-fiction!
Anyway the greatest cri I committed was with Karen.
I saw her walking while I was just starting to finish my 2nd beer, and when I was walking up to the pair.
I just kissed Kalawarna on the lips!
Not a passionate one, just a peck, but that was not why I'm ashad.
No, it's because when I was going to give Precious a kiss on her head, that damn Mastiff licked my puckered lips!
It looked like I was aiming to kiss Precious by any bystanders, I think my dignity is gone...
Well I don't think Karen was upset I kissed her, but she laughed so hard at my kiss with her dog, that my heart broke.
Then Drunk didn't even stay to say sorry or anything, I just walked off and said to Karen.
"Gotta go, hot stuff, I need to visit my friends' hos to give them back their books!"
-
Well the 2nd term is about to start, and as usual my Dad has scheduled to work that weekend before school starts...
I agreed, because I found out Rias had placed a pick-up order with my Dad, so I want to be there to hand off the goods.
It isn't because I don't trust my Dad to deal with Rias... but it's because I really don't trust my Dad to not sha in front of her.
That damn Dad of mine, just is scum.
Speaking of my Dad, it would be nice to point out that my Mom is very happy with my Japanese style landscaping, because thanks to my plant and earth skill, we have the most beautiful ho garden in Kuoh Town.
Thanks to the fact I can raise rare flowers and Koi fish, and I even have those Disney bushes shaped into different sculptures.
I overdid it again!
-
The end of sumr vacation...
It is now Sunday before school starts again, and I'm running things in the bookstore.
Thankfully my Dad is fucking-off sowhere else!
It is noon, and I'm eagerly watching the front door, like a fan waiting for his favorite actress to co up the walkway!
Why, because Rias is the iconic-person next to Issei in this forr ani world, plus I like redheads!
I know it is weird to be so happy, but eting Rias gives the sa damn feeling, like when I went to the fountain for the first ti!
It's like a D×D bucket-list of things you must do if you were to revive in this world.
Damn she is late!
Ding Ding~! What stupid get up will she try... [Stone Statue Mode activated!]
I'm not going to throw all the damn flowery descriptions of why my heart just stopped beating for a mont, or two.
In walked a beautiful European model, with unnaturally crimson hair.
Shit, Issei's description of the Crimson Goddess was a travesty to what my eyes are seeing right now!
"Damn I hate to admit it, but she is slightly, just slightly prettier than even Karen! I will never tell Karen, I said that or she would kill !"
While I was holding Rias's shopping bag in my outstretched-hand, admiring her pink sundress and sunhat combo, Rias broke from my stupidity.
"Who's Karen and what did you say?"
She smiled while saying that.
"Huh? Did I say that out loud again?"
Then Rias gave a head-tilt and nodded.
Damn she is hot!
"Sorry senior, I was just thinking you managed to beat out my favorite 2D waifu, and I said sorry to her in my head. But it seems every ti you are around, my mouth says stupid things!"
Ding Ding~! Rias just takes the bag from my hand and says to .
"Awe, That's such a sweet complint. Well tell Karen I'm sorry... I'm claiming that spot!"
"Wow, why did that sound so aweso?"
To my absolute horror, I didn't notice the new arrivals in the store.
My bastard Dad's voice was heard behind Rias...
"See Honey, I told you my Son was a lady killer!"
Followed by my Mom's voice...
"Well his good taste ca from his beautiful mother!"
It is all over, why, why, why are my damn parents here, now?!
Rias turns to face the demonic couple that enters the store acting like they owned the place... Scratch that, they do own it!
"Hello Dear, my Husband and I are Touji and Kyiomi Tanaka, it is a pleasure to et another friend of Matsuda."
She then elegantly raises her hand to shake Rias's outstretched hand.
Slap~! After they shook hands, my Dad tried to reach out, but his hand was slapped hard by my Mom, who followed with...
"Don't be rude... Your hands are filthy!"
That's my Mom for sure...
Rias politely tells the older couple.
"Hello, I'm Rias Gremory, a 2nd year student and am happy to et the both of you. I really enjoy your family's store. It lets experience the Japanese culture that I and my family admire so much."
Did you think that's all the damage my parents were going to inflict on their child?
Well you thought wrong!
My Mom said to Rias.
"If you ever want to see the best Japanese style garden in all Kuoh Town, with exotic plants and a Koi pond, just ask Matsuda to invite you, and you're welco over anyti!"
Followed by a waste of space...
"Miss Rias, do you like younger Japanese n that have neeeeeeever had a girlfriend before?!"
Rias tactfully followed up with...
"Not right at the mont, my studies are very demanding."
So the trio said so minor blah, blah, blah things and then all of them turned in my direction, and all their faces were interesting...
Rias just put her hand over her mouth and snickered.
My Mom said to the Matsuda sculpture...
"Dear, close your mouth."
And the dipstick Dad said sothing idiotic...
"What's wrong with you? Did you need to take a dump?"
The reason for their response was... I have had my hand held-out this whole ti, in the bag holding motion, with a look of horror and a wide open mouth!
Yup, I don't even rember Rias saying goodbye!
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