"AAAAAAAARGH—WHY IS HE USING A CHAIR?!"
"STOP AIMING FOR MY KNEECAPS, SIR!!! THAT’S WHERE I WALK FROM!"
"Ugh..." Jake groaned from the corner, his shirt torn, eyebrow twitching like he’d been emotionally waterboarded. "Again...? I just healed from yesterday..."
Outside the Vaise Mansion, in the training field, chaos reigned.
Crisaius stood on top of a tree stump with a broken broomstick in one hand and an upside-down chair in the other, grinning like a man who mistook torture for cardio. His robe flapped dramatically even though there was no wind.
"TRAINING IS LOVE!" he bellowed. "AND LOVE HURTS!"
"RAVEN, YOU BACKSTABBING LITTLE—" Alex scread, rolling behind a rock as Crisaius chucked the chair like it was a dodgeball. "THIS IS ILLEGAL! THIS IS A CRI!"
Rufus, ducking behind a log, whimpered. "I didn’t say anything, Raven! You’re amazing! This isn’t your fault! I’m just... unlucky. That’s it. This is karma for sothing I did in a past life. I must’ve kicked a baby deer or sothing..."
Alex crawled toward him. "SHUT UP AND HELP TIE HIM UP!"
Jake didn’t move. He just sighed, muttering, "...If I survive this, I better get sothing. I can’t be going through sothing like this without getting sothing out of it."
It was the longest sentence he had ever said, but no one was there to hear it.
...................
anwhile, inside the house, Raven lay comfortably on his bed, a cup of tea floating gently beside him thanks to wind magic, and a squirrel fanning him lazily with a leaf.
He gave the occasional glance toward the open window, through which muffled screaming and wooden chair violence echoed faintly.
He sighed contentedly. "My condolences."
The squirrel nodded in solemn agreent, placing a tiny paw over its chest.
Raven stretched lazily.
This was fine.
All was according to plan.
Crisaius was currently "training" them, which, in reality, translated to psychological warfare, explosive cardio, and unsolicited poetry slams during sparring.
It was working—well, kind of. Eventually. Maybe.
But Raven wanted sothing more. Sothing quicker.
"Alright," he muttered, his eyes sharpening. "Let’s get to work."
With that thought, he opened his system interface, tapping into the Trade Channel—a special function connected to the divine realm, where gods could drop items, offers, or insults depending on their mood.
Unsurprisingly—
[You have 3 unread chats.]
[Grandpa_Hot_Pot: 5 ssages.]
[Smoke_Trader: 4 ssages.]
[Windy_Wishbone: 10 ssages.]
For a while, Raven stared at the interface.
Two of them were normal. He didn’t even care about them since not replying to them wouldn’t cause any problems.
But one of them was sothing he couldn’t ignore.
With a flick, he opened the ssage from Grandpa_Hot_Pot, the moodiest, most powerful, and most unstable of the trio.
He was ant to talk to him every day, but life got in the way so he missed the talk yesterday.
Yet, despite that, there were only five ssages from the Codger.
As he opened the chat, he prayed things wouldn’t go like last ti when Grandpa got angry because he couldn’t reply to him for a day.
The first thing Raven saw was two deleted ssages.
Grandpa had deleted them, and they were yesterday’s ssages.
’Fuck...’
Holding his breath, Raven looked at the recent ssages.
Raven paled. "No. Not the backstories."
Seeing that the codger was still online, he quickly ca up with a response that would work best to appease this old man, maybe even make him happy.
There was a pause.
Then, the reply ca.
Grinning as he saw Grandpa getting interested, he continued like a righteous love hater.
There was a pause. Again.
This ti, it was long, making Raven question every word he just typed.
’Maybe I was a bit too hasty?’
’Should I have said sothing else?’
But then—
’Gift?’ Raven raised a brow, wondering what the codger was going to give him.
’Just don’t be so slly divine underwear—’
The next second—
[You have received a gift.]
[Gift from Grandpa_Hot_Pot: 100,000 plot points.]
Raven froze as he looked at that notification.
He blinked.
Then he blinked again before sitting up straight, causing the squirrel to stumble.
"WHAT?!" His eyes were wide and his mind blank.
[New system notification: You have crossed the 100,000-point barrier.]
[Plot Point Balance: 130,919.]
[New Feature Available: Random Voucher.]
[New Feature Available: Divine Trade Auctions.]
[New Feature Available: Talk To .]
Those notifications passed through his eyes, but Raven couldn’t even register them.
Raven was staring at the 130,000 balance as if it had personally proposed to him.
His brain crashed.
His heart rebooted.
Sowhere in the divine clouds, a squirrel sneezed.
"...Did I get hacked?" Raven whispered.
He stared at his palm, and then—
—He slapped his cheek.
Slap-Crack!
Too hard.
His neck tilted sideways like a broken action figure.
It healed instantly, but he felt it.
It hurt. It was real.
The codger, however, found his silence strange.
Raven was broken out of his brain-dead state by those notifications, as greed flashed through his eyes.
’More plot points?’
He already had 130,000 plot points, but wouldn’t it be better if he could get more?
But the next second, he steadied his thoughts.
’No. Let’s not be greedy. I got these 100,000 even though I didn’t beg for it. So, I will let it be for now.’
Then, he quickly replied to Grandpa.
The reply ca instantly.
"What?" Raven stared at the ssages.
’Scraps? 100,000 is scrap for him?!’
He couldn’t believe how rich this codger was, but there was another thing he noticed.
If he had asked for more plot points, then by now, he would’ve been branded as a greedy guy by the codger.
After all, he could ask other minor gods whether this amount was high for them, and those gods wouldn’t lie.
He could’ve lost his divine sugar daddy if he had surrendered to his greed.
No matter how rich his sugar daddy was, he couldn’t be greedy.
But before Raven could recover—
As he stared at those words, Raven didn’t know what to say.
What would the codger do if he knew that a while ago, Raven was asking for harem-managent advice from Crisaius?
In the end, he sighed, staring at the plot points again, only to take a deep breath.
It wasn’t because he was overwheld by gratitude.
But because he had just beco wealthy.
God-tier wealthy.
130,919 Plot Points.
It was sothing even minor gods considered a lot, according to Grandpa’s words.
With this many plot points, Raven wondered whether he would need to sell those divine artifacts he had received from Grandpa as planned.
He probably wouldn’t.
He slowly stood up, walked to the mirror, and stared at himself.
"...I’m not dreaming, right?"
In the background, Alex scread again.
"SIR!!!!!! THAT’S NOT A TRAINING STICK, THAT’S A TREE TRUNK!"
Raven turned back to his bed, sat down, and looked at the screen again.
"...Should I start the next phase of my plans?"
He flopped back onto the bed, limbs sprawled like he’d just been blessed and mugged simultaneously.
The squirrel straightened as he started fanning him again.
Just then, another ssage popped up.
Raven muttered, "He scares more than demons."
But a smile crept up on his face.
His teammates’ slow-burn training was going on.
He also had a divine sugar daddy who could help him if he asked nicely.
He may not have assassins, trade routes, or rchant guilds under his thumb like his siblings...
But he had sothing they didn’t.
Plot points.
Raven cracked his knuckles.
"Let’s give my team the upgrade they deserve..."
Then he flinched as a loud crash echoed outside.
Followed by Rufus howling, "HE THREW A BARREL OF BEES AT —WHY ARE THERE EVEN BEES?!"
Raven sighed.
"...After they finish surviving."
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