Chapter 77
Translator: wuttisyun
“I’m sorry, sorry…”
I wished there had been a better way. If only I had been smart enough to think of a brilliant solution, I would not have needed to foolishly die over and over again.
I felt sorry for her. She was left in shock because of my plan and I worried that the trauma would remain with her for a long ti.
She might have looked mature but Rebecca was still young. She was a decade younger than my past self. A young girl who was not used to seeing blood.
However, strangely enough, though my eyes did not shed tears, a fountain of relief sprung from my heart and its waters flowed everywhere. It was a relief how no one died and everyone was still alive.
I was sorry.
I did not have ti to tell her every step of my plan.
My mind was left in a flurry. At the whispering nightmares, I closed my eyes.
I was a bad person and I was only getting worse. It would be fine even if she was to resent one day.
I had taken advantage of her death. Even though she did not die in the end, the fact that I used her did not change.
“D-d-don’t get angry…”
As she held onto , trying to keep calm, I spoke each and every word with my utmost effort. She did not even realise I was talking to her.
“If I had not pushed you away, you would’ve died. How could I stand by to watch…”
I was serious. If I had not pushed her away, if I had not given up my arm, Rebecca would have died instantly with just a smack to her chest. I had no choice but to sacrifice myself if I did not want her to get hurt. If only I had been a strong enough warrior, I could have ended everything with just a flick of a hand. But this was the best I could do because I was so weak.
“… You silly thing. Your body is more precious.”
Rebecca reached out slowly and touched my cheek.
Her fingertips were cold and the smile on her lips were chilling. But with eyes that seed to have an unknown depth to them, she spoke.
“Silly thing… I wonder if you’re being naive or ignorant.”
Rebecca looked at blankly. As if she was looking at sothing incomprehensible. The tears hanging from the tip of her chin dropped. But the unknown within her black eyes were as eye catching as the stars.
Wincing, the girl patted . Surprised that she had done it unconsciously, I held her hand weakly. I had a hunch.
This arrogant girl must have seen sothing in . I was sure that in her eyes, I looked as if I had been ready to die and threw myself to save her. That had filled her heart with gratitude and a debt to that she could never forget.
I stared straight at Rebecca.
Look at .
I had actually already made up my mind but I was trying hard not to regret my decision. In fact, I had no clue whether the fact that Rebecca t before the person she was supposed to love would be a good thing. What if she were to die because of ? Even now, this would have never happened to her if she had not t . But I was no longer going to falter.
“Please try to heal, mistress.” (1)
It would be fine if I could just protect everyone.
Even if I were to die in their stead.
“… Yeah.”
I leaned against Rebecca and closed my eyes. After a while, I opened my eyes and stared at the ground. I felt like smiling.
The future, was sothing I could use.
***
“… You’re hurt.”
“… Yeah. Actually, this hurts a lot. So let’s just hang out another ti.”
“Haah. You’re enduring it well. This can only be considered amazing.”
“… I’m good at dealing with pain. Are we hanging out at the greenhouse next ti?””
“I’ll think about it once I get better.”
Rebecca sighed. It looked like she had a lot on her mind. Why was Rebecca looking at as if I was her little sister telling her I wanted to change my elective course just before the college entrance exams?
Lord Ray lifted up.
‘Ah, right. He was here.’
I raised my head to keep him in my line of sight. Lord Ray did not say a word and neither did he look at .
I wondered why he looked angry.
“… I’m fine, Lord Ray.”
I raised the arm that was not injured and touched his cheek slightly. Rebecca was the one sobbing the most and yet she was the one who remained the most unscathed.The pain of my wound felt as if my arm was being stuck to the handle of a pot filled with boiling water. I had been bitter about the pain just a little while ago but now the pain was gradually settling down and frankly speaking, had beco more tolerable.
It did not hurt. I kept telling him that it did not hurt, did I not? How many tis had I lived even after experiencing excruciating pain? Lord Ray who had been silent finally looked down to et my eyes.
Startled, I flinched.
His gaze was fierce and he was seething as if sothing had been stolen from him. Sothing was burning and wavering in his cold navy eyes.
“… Please stop speaking.”
Lord Ray, why was he looking at like that?
“I’ll bring the dication.”
I gave Lord Ray a glance before looking down slowly to stare at my wound. Well, was this a situation that could be fixed with dication?
It looked like the wound I had after being stabbed by Castor. A cleric would be more effective.
“Lord.”
This would only be more complicated if he called for Fleon or Dane.
“Don’t tell anyone.”
Lord Ray stared at silently.
“What do you an?”
“You know what I ant.”
“…..”
“This wound. I don’t care what you do just don’t tell anyone about this.”
Tuk. Tuk tuk.
He unbuttoned my cuffs,
“I wonder since when does a wound that covered a whole arm be considered ‘fine’.”
Lord Ray spoke as if he had chewed and spat out every single word.
“Listen, I just don’t want Fleon and Dane to worry.”
“Do you even have ti to think about other people when you’re in this state? How amazing.”
“Lord Ray, don’t be sarcastic. I’m really fine.”
“Miss Ashley!”
He raised his head in a hurry.
“Why do you not understand that the problem is that you think this is fine!”
He exclaid harshly.
He skillfully ripped off my torn sleeves and wiped the wound. He placed herbs on top of my wound before wrapping bandages around it. He was holding my arm but he was careful not to pull it more than needed.
Unlike his cautious movents, his face was stiff.
“Princess.”
After completing simple first aid on my arm, he stared at .
“Ha-”
Staring at for a mont, he stretched his arm out and grabbed the headboard.
“Damn, Princess.”
“Speak.”
He stiffened when I grabbed the hem of his clothes with my unhard arm. He pondered over his words for a while before raising his arm.
“… I’ve only done first aid so you urgently need more treatnt.”
He stared at persistently before looking away and forcing himself to speak calmly.
“You seem to be forcing yourself because this is not a wound anyone can just endure.”
“I know.”
“Do you really?”
Lord Ray looked down at .
“… Then why are you so reckless?”
He bowed his head.
“I didn’t want to argue with you when you’re already so beat up but I have no choice.”
His arms grabbed my sides. Lord Ray’s gaze did not leave mine for even a second, enrapturing in his gaze without giving a chance to escape to a corner.
“Since when have you been so good at holding in your pain? You who used to be unable to hold your tears back just by falling down?”
The fire in the fireplace burned away lighting his dark and dim eyes.
“I wonder when you’ve changed to soone I don’t recognise. This… Can you please tell I have been mistaken?”
The way he captured in his gaze as well as his low voice made him look as if he would not back down easily.
‘How dizzying.’
Slowly, I ca up with a variety of excuses. What would be the most appropriate thing to tell Ray now? However, my mind only got dizzier.
“You know, Lord Ray.”
“Please go ahead.”
“I know you’re suspicious and you have a lot to say.”
I was faintly dizzy. The way my body was reacting to the wound did not seem to be because of the pain.
“Right, Lord Ray, you can just rely on .”
In the middle of my sentence, I lowered my head just as sothing firm supported .
“But please listen to . I honestly did not think this would have gone so far. Just know that I too am shocked. I’m now a patient. I almost died.”
I closed my eyes for a mont because of the dizziness.
It sounded like he clicked his tongue. He sounded as grumpy as the ti I had sided with Fleon during their little argunts. In fact, I had been prepared to have been hurt even worse.
‘Honestly, I had not expected Lord Ray to do anything…’
Even when I brought Lord Ray into this, I believed that he would not be surprised by anything that could happen. That was what I thought he would be like based on what I had seen from him.
“Where are you heading, Miss Ashley?”
He leaned against a pine tree standing in a wide field. Back when he was even younger than he was now, he was even more stiff which made him harder to get along with. However, after so ti, I found his dry and silent personality reliable.
So this was nothing like the Lord Ray I knew.
“Should I not call for your help from now on…”
“… What?”
“… Ah.”
I accidentally said my thoughts out loud.
“Again. Could you repeat that again?”
He pulled up and stared at in the eye. His face showed no signs of laughter and his expression remained stiff.
“Are you trying to keep away from you?”
“No, that’s not what I ant… You’re right. I hadn’t expected Lord Ray to be so angry.”
“You always think of yourself like that.”
He growled.
“You had never wanted your brothers or myself to stick our noses into anything you do. Am I wrong?”
I froze.
“Looking at your expression, I must be right. Are you determined to keep your mouth shut forever? Was my concern about you so shocking that you have to turn away?”
He wailed.
“Or do I not an anything to you?”
“Lord.”
“No, you don’t need to answer.”
He bit his lower lip slightly.
“This had always been the case. You never answer .”
He spoke as he fixed his posture.
I lowered my head and raised my gaze.
“Are you mad?”
“…I’m not.”
Lord Ray closed his eyes and shook his head roughly.
“I believe in you, Lord Ray.”
He sighed with a smile. As if he could see inside .
“Without you, I would have died, Lord Ray.”
I whispered to him with the intention of soothing his anger but I ant everything I said.
‘I should tell him sothing, even if it was just a little bit.’
He had been paying close attention to all this while. And I had not thought about him at all. Not even in the slightest.
‘And the Lord did not ask a thing.’
He had given up on receiving an answer from . Did that an he was not curious? I closed my eyes for a mont before grabbing his sleeve. I realised my arms were twitching as the aftershock of the pain kicked in late.
“… Do you want to know why I’m doing this, Lord Ray?”
“Yes, I do.”
I smiled bitterly and lowered my gaze. He thought I was strange for speaking as such.
T/N:
sorry this was a little late
(1): Rebecca should be calling Ash mistress. If she calls her anything else, it’s a mistake hehe.
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