Chapter 280
Translator: yun
No. I wasn’t you.
“I couldn’t endure it any longer. With you here, I was supposed to disappear but I used what remaining power I had left to stay while you grew up. There couldn’t be two ‘Ashley Rosés’ in the world so I played the part of the female lead you’re so familiar with.”
The space pulled away like the tide. The pitch-black darkness took its place as it flowed in like tears just as the life of the terribly unfortunate woman faded away.
“… This is my last life. And I decided to cooperate with Castor. Because if you are truly , then your life should end the sa.”
The black space surrounding the two of us finally disappeared before I found us standing in the middle of a quiet hallway. No, her eyes were still ablaze with envy.
“I will now watch you lose everything and suffer.”
Tick tock, tick tock. The pendulum of the aged clock swung. As my heart thumped. I knew that this was not the ti for to be sentintal. I could barely open my trembling mouth.
“Then-then, what about Amor’s dicine?”
“Ah, that?”
Rusbella mumbled as if she was pondering in thought.
“That’s real. Even I’m unable to concoct a fake nectar.”
“Ah…”
“Because I can’t let you give up after losing everything.”
She cackled as if she found the whole thing funny. She looked nothing like the kind female lead I was familiar with.
“You needed to have so hope to struggle.”
Curling her eyes, she whispered.
“You searched for in the clock tower, didn’t you? We both t at the clock tower just before you ca.”
As soon as I looked into her eyes, a scene unfolded before my eyes. A dark and narrow space. A man and woman could be seen atop the clock tower.
“Are your preparations for war going well?”
“I’d rather call it preparations for destruction. Yes, without a hiccup.”
Deep into the night. The man who was lting into the night deepened the smile on his face as he watched the shouts of the distant crowds.
“I miss Ashley.”
The smile was steeped in madness.
“The sight of her not losing herself even after dying. I desire it.”
As soon as Castor looked towards , the vision disappeared. Once we made eye contact, Castor had turned into Rusbella. Those golden eyes. I couldn’t hold it any longer and grabbed her.
“… Didn’t Castor seriously love you?”
Rusbella shook off my hand.
“Can that man ever love anyone?”
‘Even if he did love soone, it couldn’t be .’ Rusbella murmured to herself.
“Madn can’t tell the difference between love and obsession. Ashley.”
I recognised the gaze in her eyes. My words boiled up my throat.
“You… look like Castor.”
“Yes. Crazy people tend to look like each other.”
Rusbella gently wrapped her hand around my cheek. She then whispered softly.
“You’re not crazy but you are strange.”
Her whisper, as if whatever she was telling was a secret, barged into my ears.
“There’s sothing you’ve been mistaken about . The kind Rusbella you’re familiar with doesn’t exist. There was once, I had mories of loving soone but they’ve beco aningless as ti itself.”
Her voice was as scathing and monotonous as a snake’s.
“Do you want to tell you about the future?”
“Zip it.”
Despite seething, Rusbella didn’t stop.
“Even if you try, you won’t be able to save the 6th Prince. And soon, you will lose the 7th Prince and your knight consecutively before finally losing your beloved 4th Prince. I can see it.”
“… No.”
“I thought it wouldn’t be possible too before I actually lost them.”
“No!”
Just then, a purple energy rose from the diary before striking Rusbella with a force that made it look enraged. Just as I expected, the energy dissolved into a cluster of golden orbs of light but it was enough to throw her off. As she watched glowering, she lowered her head. She then deadpanned softly.
“Well, whatever. I was going to stop here.”
A stormy gale began to rise. At so point, the torrential wind tore through everything in this hallway. Clang. Unable to resist the weight of the blustering winds, a teacup shattered as the tapestries shook vigorously.
“Damn it. Whatever Castor said before is true.”
She spoke jubilantly.
“I didn’t do anything.”
At the end of her sentence, my hair, thoughts and feelings. Everything froze. I couldn’t help but to think of that man when I stared into those eyes that looked like pure lted gold. Rusbella slowly took her eyes off as she left alone. She mumbled as if not caring if I was able to hear her.
“What could that man be thinking? I’ve t him hundreds of tis before but I still have no clue.”
A bright beam of light rose from under her feet. Before I realised it, I noticed a white stone in her hand. It looked just like the Artefact of the Winds that Abel had passed . The mont Rusbella touched one of the jewels, it lost its colour.
“See you at the ‘war’. Ashley.”
A huge sigil ford underneath her feet, it was similar to the size of the one drawn at the academy–the one countless templars had co together to form. Rusbella stood atop the symbol before smiling elegantly as if to show off her powers.
Swa–
When I opened my eyes again, everything disappeared while only the white stone was left.
What seed to be forever passed.
Since the mont she disappeared, I had been sitting still. As the wind blew towards , I continued staring at the ground. Had that much ti passed? When I gradually ca to my senses, I clenched my pale fists tightly. My fingers shook uncontrollably.
I wanted to scream at this nonsense. I wanted to bla soone. But I couldn’t find anyone to bla. No one in this world was on my side. The gods that people depended on and gave their hope for planned on destroying their land; And this book and its female lead, my only hope, had beco my greatest enemies.
What should I follow now? What should I look at? What should I aim for? How long was I supposed to wander aimlessly like a lost child?
Collapse. I sat in the middle of a field of grass. I couldn’t tell from what mont I started walking. The quiet garden was still as it enveloped in silence.
Drip.
Drip. Drip drop. I could feel sothing wet on my hands. I raised my head slowly. I didn’t notice a dark cloud covering the moon. All I could see was the dark sky. In the blink of an eye, despair fell upon like the humidity. The drops of water that had been falling on my cheek one by one gradually increased before pouring out of my eyes.
Swa– It was raining really hard. I stared idly as the droplets fell.
“Why…”
What was I thinking back then?
“… Why?”
Questions I could not ask anyone else arose. The mories of my past, my past misfortunes, the abyss I had been thrown into and all the things I had endured till now poured out of instantly. Like a beast never losing its opportunity for a hunt, misfortune clung onto my skin as the rain tried to wash it away.
“… What should I do now?”
A voice choke-filled with tears broke out of . How long had I struggled to find my way? This wandering child had once again lost her way and I wanted to know whether she would be lost forever.
“Tell . Tell sothing”
I hurriedly grabbed the diary before asking it. This strange yet mysterious diary that remained dry under this pouring rain faced . I opened the diary to the first page. I noticed sothing new on the table of contents I was planning on skipping. Perhaps it had always been there but had always missed it.
[Don’t concern yourself with that book.] (1)
I knew this was a warning from the diary. But it ca too late.
“Ah… Ah…”
I covered my face with my palm. A bawl I could not suppress burst out of . This mournful cry, which I had not been able to let out for the longest ti, soaked in the rain as it tore out of with length and sorrow. Hoping that my cries could be buried by this rain.
Did I cry for too long? The rain was starting to subside. I was already sitting there dazed long before the rain started dying down. Perhaps it was because I never had that many tears to begin with, I didn’t cry for long. It was almost as if I couldn’t cry.
Looking up at the sky, I noticed the edges of the clouds tinged with the pale moonlight. Slowly, with my lifted hand, I brushed my wet hair back. I tilted my head before smirking.
“Heh, hehe.”
Was I mad? Should I go mad? If I were to go mad like Castor, I would have thought destruction was alright. But unfortunately, I never reached that tipping point.
“Castor.”
The man who ruined my life.
“How far did you plan this?”
Had he planned for Rusbella and I to et before I was to hear the whole truth from her? I supposed so. Castor, the one who possessed the sa powers as I did. The man who had gone mad so long ago.
“Rusbella and Castor. You and the rest of the main characters have turned into my enemies. Right?”
It had been a fate that had twisted the wrong way from the beginning.
“Yeah. If you all were really that mad.”
But now, it didn’t matter to when that beginning was. My fate was already ruined and they would only continue to undermine it.
“I will now watch you lose everything and suffer.”
There were people who wouldn’t hesitate to turn evil.
“Who’s the sa as who?”
But they weren’t born evil. They used to be normal. The man who chose to be cursed with his sins to gain great power. However, the victim of greed turned into the perpetrator, creating another victim.
“Rusbella, I’m not you…”
The world labelled you evil. One who lost their way. Was it justified for a victim to kill or hurt other people? No.
“You try to lower to your level but I’m not like you.”
I mumbled in the empty garden. It occurred to that there was a possibility that soone was listening. It didn’t matter if there was.
“… I’m not mad.”
With a clear gaze, I looked forward and made a promise.
“Not now and not ever. I’m not mad.”
You could never ruin . I protected you all even while you had shattered into pieces. Even if you were the one who had brought the insignificant here to beco soone great, it would never go your way. There was sothing you still failed to understand till the end.
“Heh. Did you think I was going to give in just because of this?”
The novel never existed. This world was my reality. Everyone wasn’t just characters but they were actual living people. Everything. Did they think I was going to despair over that re fact? No, I was going to be even happier, even sadder and struggle even more. To show them everything I could.
Yes, even after I had fallen into the abyss, they had kicked over and over again but I wasn’t going to collapse here. My thighs had gotten stronger after withstanding despair. If I didn’t have my legs, I was going to crawl out of here with my arms.
The despair you had put through made who I was today.
“Those idiots.”
Water dripped from the ends of my wet hair. I smiled.
“My life is mine.”
I was happy to accept the invitation Rusbella sent. There was no way I would back down. As I stared at the dawn sky in the distance, I realised that there was not much ti left till the end.
T/N:
[1]: lel in this case the book referred to the original novel but!! I wanted to use the title hehe
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