Chapter 237
Translator: yun
“Auresia?”
“Yeah. That woman. The woman I’ve never seen before in my life had talked to as if she knew well which was both interesting and strange at the sa ti.”
But I knew. I would still be as flustered and bewildered as ever every ti Dane made wait for him to speak his mind. Because there used to be a ti where I wouldn’t ever have to think about it.
“That’s the kind of person you are. Unlike her, even though I knew you so well, you’ve beco a stranger to the past few weeks.”
“Ashley.”
“But this was what you wanted. Right?”
With a firm conviction, I stared at Dane. And he did not shy away from my gaze. Soon after, he slowly lowered his head with a slight smile on his face.
“Right. If I hadn’t, you would have never looked my way.”
I never seed to have a need to think about sothing like that.
“Do you regret bringing it up?”
“No. I could have confessed at any given mont. No, it was more like I might not have been able to control my overwhelming emotions. If I had not confessed that day, it was still bound to happen. It’s just a sha…”
Dane strolled towards before stopping before my seat.
“That I hadn’t managed to say it sooner.”
He stared at as his eyes squinted under the glare of the sun. I wondered if I should take a step back. His handso face drew nearer as the shadows casted by his hair covered his face.
“But, Ashley.”
He grabbed my hand, lifted it before kissing my fingers slowly. Raising his head, he captured in his red eyes that stood out even more under the sunlight.
“I don’t regret what I couldn’t control.”
Soon after, he tilted his head slightly before curling the ends of his lips.
“It’s alright now that you know how I feel.”
The Dane I knew had always looked like a boy but was mature beyond his age, soone so smart it was almost as if he knew everything. However, I could no longer see the boy I knew in the Dane who was standing before now talking. He now had the appearance of a young man with a gentle and languid expression much like that one night he threw his mask aside.
“We’re not blood siblings. But you’ve always thought we were brother and sister. I think you need so ti to process this.”
“Dane.”
Instead of replying , he smiled slightly. He looked a little sad.
“But Ashley.”
He squeezed my fingers before letting them go and saying. Looking as if he was about to cry, he seed to be taking in every part of my face but I wondered why the mont I saw his expression I wanted to escape his grasp and imdiately run away from him. I knew this was the instinct that had been keeping alive talking.
“I don’t know why you don’t rember this.”
My heart was pounding. It wasn’t beating because it was fluttering but rather because my gut was warning .
“You might not rember this now but you knew the whole truth a long ti ago. The 8th Queen, Auresia, had told the two of us the truth together. The fact that you’re not the emperor’s biological daughter.”
What was he talking about? I couldn’t hide my bewildernt. My body turned numb as if soone had just struck .
“What are you talking about? I don’t rember…”
“Of course you don’t. You have no mories of your life before you were seven.”
To simply brush the fact I had no mories of that period off because I was too young to rember did not make sense since I clearly rembered every page and letter in the . Did I really forget my entire childhood when I had such an amazing mory? Just then, sothing like lightning struck . This was certainly strange.
“That day, you were six and I was eight. You asked to call you ‘Ahn’.”
“… Ahn?”
“Then, you added that you were 28 years old.”
Goosebumps dotted my skin. 28, the age at which I had died in my previous life. What did he just say? What was he saying? I recalled asking Hernan to call Ahn. What was I thinking of at that ti? It had been a na that popped up in my mind without much thought.
“You had lost all your mories after you returned from the western regions to escape the plague. That’s why I hadn’t told you anything about it till now.”
“Did I ntion anything else?”
“Yes. When you were six, you ntioned a lot of words that didn’t exist in this world.”
Words that ‘didn’t exist’. Dane had emphasised that. As if I was suddenly brought to the highest point in the world, I couldn’t feel my limbs. Did he notice my shock? My vision went dark. Dane called out for as I closed my eyes.
Ashley. HIs voice sounded so distant and unfamiliar. Dane called for again. I raised my head before taking his hand. I clung onto his hand like a desperate man.
“Dane. It’s hard for to process all this so I’m feeling quite confused.”
“Ashley.”
“Ahn? Why did I ask you to call that?”
“… You were having trouble pronouncing your words back then and that was what you asked to call you. It sounded like that second half of another na.”
This was a world within a novel. I had been reincarnated into that world and I had not been the main character. I had always spectated the world as a stranger who knew what was going to happen because of the original novel. But now that I thought about it, I couldn’t recall the people I had loved in my previous life. My dad. My friends. The colleague I hung out with and my beloved pet dog that cherished . Neither their na nor the face ca to mind. And my na. What was my na?
“Dane, what was my na?”
“Ashley, co to think of it, I hadn’t thought much about it and can’t rember much about what you said.”
Now, recalling even the letters in the seed insignificant when the people I had loved and cherished were disappearing as if they were vaporising into a puff of steam. It was shocking to know that there was sothing I couldn’t rember and even more shocking to know that I had just found out.
Why was I here? For what? Why? Dane seed to be saying sothing. Are you alright? I was perfectly rational. I had died and survived before so was this kind of shock that big of an deal? But, my chest felt stuffy. All that was left of was the fact that I had reincarnated into this world from my past life. The departnt store, planes, cars… Things that never existed in this world, I rembered everything but nothing related to remained.
A vaguely normal impression of my life ca to mind before disappearing. I had a dad, a friend and raised a dog. I had worked as a salaryman who was tired of her hard life. But what my na was, how tall I was, what my hair looked like or even what I looked like–nothing ca to mind.
I recalled watching an animation where the main character had forgotten their na. They couldn’t return ho unless they recalled their na. (1) Was I like them now? It wasn’t like I wanted to return to my past life. But what did this world want from to erase everything I loved from my previous life without consent?
“Ashley. It’s alright.”
“Dane.”
“You told that it’d be fine back then.”
What do you an it’d be fine? What would be? My mind was blank. I had forgotten my na, my appearance from my past life and yet I could recall the contents of the original novel so vividly it was as if I was reading the novel right now. What if too much ti had passed and I could no longer find the mories I lost even if I wanted to?
“Back when you could recall everything, you told that it would be alright. You said that you would soon disappear and forget everything. Now that I think about it, you must have been reassuring for this very mont.”
Dane patted my cheek as he maintained eye contact. As if he was trying to comfort . My trembling heart gradually cald to the peaceful sounds of his breaths. He spoke to albeit slightly out of pity as if he understood everything. His eyes that were as beautiful as jewels curled up.
“To assure you that it’d be alright through .”
It was a day much like the night.
“Dane, what do you know?”
The sun was shining so brightly but this spot was so dark it was almost as if the sun had already set. No, perhaps the darkness was a result of what I was feeling. It felt like it was night. I wanted it to pass by like it had been nothing whilst I slept as I hoped for the morning to co.
But it was a night that did not want to pass. I had to face the truth.
“Ashley, I like your hair.”
“… I know.”
Dane smiled bitterly.
“I liked it so much the sight of it alone was enough for to forget about my unhappy life.”
He waited for to relax before slowly looking at and saying.
“So I could understand whatever you said. The fact that you were originally not from this world. That you’ve caught yourself in the turmoil of this world and that there was another side to you, other than the 28-year-old ‘Ahn’.”
“Another side?”
“Within you, the six-year-old Ashley and the 28-year-old ‘Ahn’ coexisted. Though one day you might be as ignorant as any other six-year-old, the next day you would know things no one else in this world knew as ‘Ahn’. You said that there were two people existing within you.”
A young Ashley and Ahn, the who could rember my past life, coexisted? Dane seed to have been explaining everything slowly so that I wouldn’t be too shocked. I still couldn’t help but to be shocked though I tried to calm down enough to listen to his carefully spoken words.
“Ahn told us she would soon lose her mories and she was right. And she said that she would never be able to recall them again and I think she’s right.”
A soft hand clasped my cheek. For the who had lost her way, Dane seed to be consoling with his sad and sympathetic expression.
Co to think of it, when did I first et Dane? He had been waiting in front of my palace after I returned from the western territories–the place I left for to escape the plague. Dane had been there since the beginning of my mories. I had always believed I couldn’t recall my first eting with him because of the passage of ti.
“I wanted to tell you this only when you were ready.”
Lowering his gaze, Dane murmured. A calm atmosphere dominated the space between us. I slowly pursed my lips.
“The reason why you’re telling this.”
I repeated him after a mont of silence.
“Is it because you think I’m ready?”
Dane smiled.
“No. It’s because I couldn’t take it anymore.”
When I shifted my gaze slightly, I spotted the blindingly bright sun behind Dane’s shoulders. The curtains were fluttering as it covered the sun. With every flutter, the sun was repeatedly covered and revealed again.
“I thought I’d regret it if I didn’t ntion it. This heart and the mont these feelings began.”
“Dane.”
As if savouring the way I called his na, he closed his eyes.
“Ashley, what do you want to do?”
When Dane opened his eyes again, his eyes were red as ever.
“I can do anything for you.”
Without his hand on my cheek anymore, he smiled softly.
“Do you want revenge? I’ll bring the sinner before you. If you want to live a peaceful life, I’ll make sure this palace will be yours forever. And if you start to hate everything, I’ll bring you sowhere far away, towards the sunset.”
“Away from the palace?”
“Away from the palace.”
T/N:
(1): Lmao is this Finding Dory?
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