Don’t Concern Yourself With That Book Chapter 146

Chapter 146

Translator: yun

‘I’ took half a step forward and turned slightly to face Hernan. The from the past looked confused before gradually distancing herself from him. Looking at them from afar, I wondered why she bothered to try and cover her unkempt appearance. No one would see her anyway.

-Hurry and go. Princess!

Then, it seed like the 10-year-old had resolved herself before firmly turning around.

-I’m sorry.

Chasing after the past , when I looked back, I spotted Hernan blocking Castor’s way. The difference in their powers was ridiculously huge. Then, I spotted it. His back then gradually fell by the heartless sword.

–Pant, pant.

As I chased the 13-year-old who was running away desperately, I recalled Hernan’s character in the original novel.

The man who loved Rusbella but still eventually brought her to Castor. In fact, I had wondered if he had really been born just for Castor. He was willing to go far for the tyrant and only cared about his master.

But why?

The 13-year-old and the current were thinking the sa thing. We were confused, perplexed and absurdly furious. And the never ending sadness continued to fluctuate within.

As I chased myself from the past, I was left frustratingly out of breath. The diary was getting hotter.

I had repeated death countless of tis and my mories were all tangled and ssed up. There were monts where I could not exactly recall but I could rember how I died.

I could vividly rember the ti when I first killed myself so I could not have possibly forgotten the mories of Hernan protecting . That ant my escape now would face an unfortunate end. I had a gut feeling that I would be seeing him soon.

‘If Hernan had successfully helped and I ended up surviving, I wouldn’t have repeated this life.’

I was confident and clear in my intuition but the re fact that I was made sad.

I was going to die again.

And finally, my intuition beca reality. The young quickly took a step back and it looked like she was going to cry.

-So this was where you were hiding.

That face of despair made think that her tears could fall with just one tap. As I stood in front of the man who seed so big and huge I could not possibly get past him…

Castor smiled at gently.

-It’ll be better to just forget anything.

My collapsing back was already stained with blood. At my last monts, I closed my eyes as well.

How much blood would it take to coat that huge sword?

***

“Are you awake now? Ahn.”

Soone whispered in a soft and friendly voice. I woke up from my dream that felt like an afterimage.

A bright fire blinked through the darkness.

‘That’s probably because of Hernan right?’

Closing my eyes, I touched my forehead. Both my hands and my forehead were trembling.

“Ahn. Are you alright?”

He asked if I was alright.

I had covered my ears but his voice had already attacked my vulnerability right after the afterimage and it affected greatly.

What did I just see?

“Ahn.”

At the sound of Hernan calling my na, mories ca swarming back to . A terrible headache began hitting . And it was bothering imnsely.

“Ahn, look at . Do you see ?”

He looked like a real ss. How much blood did he bleed for even his smile to be stained in red?

“Ahn.”

I felt like I was going to drown in my thoughts that were pouring down like heavy rain.

“Ahn! Get it together. You’re fever’s really high.”

“…..”

“Damn it. Where does it hurt?”

The red fire blazed across Hernan’s face as the flas crackled. The gaze that captured the flas was as thick and clear as a lake reflecting the moon. And within his blue and opened eyes was confusion.

“I-I…”

The woman in his eyes kept frowning and frowning till her face beca unfamiliar to .

“I….”

My gaze began wandering in the air aimlessly.

I swallowed the stale breath in my mouth before taking in a hot gulp of air. Even if I forced my lungs to move and push against it, the space I could not reach between my stomach and my chest continued to ache numbingly. Even though I was trying to apply pressure on it and endure the pain, all it did was suppress my screams.

“… Ahn?”

I could admit that my eyes were hurting.

“… Why…”

I was breathing like a drowning man panting for breath.

The hand that was holding onto the diary was trembling. I had tried not to tremble in the midst of all this. Even though my efforts were apparently useless.

“… Why did you save ? You died.”

“Ahn?”

“Why now? Now?”

“Ahn!”

The diary which was getting crumpled by the grip of my hand continued to tremble.

“You didn’t have to. You. Why did you? You…”

I looked up and stared back at the eyes directed towards . His eyes looked like a calm and warm body of water swaying.

“Ahn. You look like you’re in a lot of pain.”

He tried to get out of there but was soon at a loss for words.

“… Are you… crying?”

He paused for a mont and blinked silently.

“Who’s crying?”

“… I guess I was mistaken.”

“Yes. You were.”

My surroundings were surprisingly filled with blood, flesh and if I could have a bird’s eye view, there was a bunch of debris as well.

The landscape was littered with corpses and stained with blood but not a sword was in sight. As he lowered his head, I lifted mine. I rembered everything,

“Just as you said, I’m in pain. So, this is just rambling because it hurts.”

From the 11th attempt onwards, we no longer t each other. Perhaps it was Castor’s way of joking around. Actually, I was not even sure if Hernan was considered to have been fortunate. He no longer had to be hurt after eting .

“From the first ti we t…”

Nevertheless, I could feel sothing hot in my eyes as if sothing was going to burst.

“Why did you act so cold to ? Why did you look at like that? You tried to save , you did…”

Castor made forget everything. When I woke up from my dream I was groggy and out of it but afterwards, all the mories of him trying to save were crashing into like waves. We t, I ran away before eventually dying. And he was always the one who died first.

There was a fresh gust of wind. It was sothing that only my heart could feel but my mind could not see. But the storm within was so strong that it was ssing up everything in .

“I hated it. The fact that you were cold to at first and suddenly nice to the next mont.”

I smacked my lips once again.

“So I hated being swayed by your kindness.”

“If you’re referring to the first ti we t… I thought you were an assassin.”

The man who desperately tried to protect saved .

“I’m sorry for shocking you.”

I felt like I was going to cry but I was not sure. This feeling of crying must have sohow welled up within after seeing my younger self cry like that.

“Let’s first get out of here. Now that your body has gotten better to a certain extent.”

He had helped . So did that an that my mories of him saving managed to disappear leaving mories of only 30 or so attempts?

Was it already too late to once again believe in the eyes that were so painfully cold and indifferent, and that ultimately turned away from ? What would get better even though I found out?

I held onto him with the hand that was free. When he raised his head, our eyes t.

“Hernan, I’m sorry.”

His cold and calm expression softened before a strange one replaced it.

“Thank you.”

Those were the words that I had held off and delayed from saying. Perhaps starting from the mont I stood against Castor’s sword till I woke up and saw him. I finally talked about what I had been paying close attention to this whole ti.

He slowly tilted his head, exhaled and rested his cheek against my hand.

“You. I don’t think you’re in your right mind because of your high fever.”

The days I could not rember were the days that I t you. Castor had removed from you.

“… Don’t cry. Because your fever would only rise.”

I was crying? I was? Tears continued to blur my vision. No. I was not. Why… I could not tell if he was crying.

“Are you alright? Your wound.”

“I’m alright. Have you stopped crying.”

“I’m not crying. It’s just sweat.”

As he gathered his cheeks together, I frowned.

“… I see.”

“Let’s leave. Please. I want to go ho.”

Hernan supported and helped walk. He had surprisingly recovered from the ss his body was in before I fainted. Just as he said, he seed to have the ability to heal himself. However, perhaps he could not heal his body completely as he would occasionally grimace and let out a low groan.

“Ahn, does it hurt a lot?”

“It’s alright. You look like you’re in more pain.”

This was the fifth ti he asked. I had replied calmly but I stopped talking because I was confused as to how I should reply his voice filled with worries.

I should not have rembered them. It was already too late to find out that he had been there back when I had been the loneliest.

“Let down!”

On the other hand, I was already running out of strength and stamina by just walking. Eventually, he was forced to pull who was refusing him into an embrace.

“I told you to let go!”

I frowned and pushed against his shoulders. When I tried to tell him off more, Hernan cut in firmly.

“How noisy. I’m not doing this for you… It’s for .”

He embraced the struggling before saying.

“Walking like this is faster than walking separately. Don’t you think so?”

He walked along the spaces between the debris.

“If we walk this way, we can make it out. Hang in there a little more.”

It was Hernan who got crushed by a piece of the ceiling and destroyed a part of the pillar for . There was no way he was alright. So he did not have the strength to carry right now. He was just holding in the pain.

It was the fact that he had protected before and was doing it again that made uncomfortable.

‘Why was he sacrificing himself again? Why?’

I wanted to be a strong and selfish person. To go against Castor’s never-ending madness. I had to be soone who could stare back into the abyss even though it was not actually an abyss.

“You’re pretending to be alright on purpose, right? I know everything. Your arms were shaking.”

“You’re mistaken.”

So, I closed my eyes and covered my ears from the gaze he directed towards and ignored it. I pretended not to notice.

“… How can you act like this is nothing?”

“Don’t be a know-it-all and stay out of it.”

He was soone who worshipped and served Castor with sincerity. The duke in the original novel wanted to protect Castor and hence abandoned his love.

This man who devoted himself foolishly because of his loyalty had died by blocking a sword Castor failed to notice on the battlefield.

But even then, Castor had eventually died. Hernandez lost his friendships, lost his country, lost the woman he loved before finally losing his life. In such a story, I believed in him. No matter what side of him he showed, the mont the female lead appeared, he would only change.

But I did not know anymore. Would things really change?