Chapter 41 - I’m Doing Fine
Thud
Soren collapsed onto his bed, his muscles aching and mind racing.
He bit his lip hard, tasting iron, as the mories of the duel pressed down on him like physical weight.
He hadn’t been confident, far from it, but he had thought, hoped, he had a chance.
And for a fleeting mont, that hope felt real.
During their fight, Soren had kept up with Alex, even surpassing him to a certain extent.
He had forced him back with spells, cut off his escape, even landed a solid hit…
…And yet, it hadn’t mattered.
The second Alex had closed his eyes, everything had shifted,
The golden light that slowed ti was too strong for Soren to handle.
What Soren couldn’t understand, however, was where that power ca from.
It was nothing like the [Divinity] he had known; not only that, but it was overwhelmingly stronger.
This was sothing beyond the bounds of his understanding.
And this was precisely why Soren was so frustrated.
‘Why… why does it feel like I failed even when I tried everything?’
Frustration churned in his chest.
He had used every trick, every half-mastered skill, even [Crescent], and still… lost.
Not lost because he was outsmarted or outmatched, but because Alex had pulled sothing impossible from nowhere.
It was unfair, and that unfairness gnawed at him relentlessly.
But there was nothing he could do about it.
Rationally, Soren should have felt relieved.
Alex’s strength ant that the main story would unfold without Soren needing to be drawn in too deep, but rationality had little power against the storm raging inside his mind.
Every battle had chipped away at his confidence, leaving him raw and jittery; he had yet to win a single fight without relying on soone else’s help.
He felt small, insignificant and stagnant.
It wasn’t as if he was expecting to match up to the main characters this fast, but Soren had still hoped he would be able to deal with soone who started on a similar footing to himself.
“..I need to get stronger,” he murmured, his voice muffled against the pillow. “But… how?”
His eyes fluttered shut as he summoned the [Library of mories].
Darkness engulfed him, and when he opened his eyes once more, he was surrounded by bookshelves as far as he could see.
Rows upon rows of books appeared, almost infinitely; it was a strange sight.
He moved toward the section labelled for ages under eighteen, the ti when he had started new playthroughs, searching for the secrets he had missed.
A single book caught his eye: June 28th, 2022.
Opening it, mories surged forth.
Morning sunlight, the sll of breakfast, the fleeting smile from soone he missed dearly.
His chest tightened at the sight of her, but he shook it off; he didn’t have the ti to dwell.
And then, nightti arrived on the pages, that was where the answer had been all along.
‘There it is.’
A solution he hadn’t thought about, sothing that until now seed impossible to grasp.
••✦ ♡ ✦•••
“Are you doing okay, Ren?”
Soren blinked, adjusting to the warm, concerned face beside him.
He was sitting in Lily’s dorm for their scheduled tutoring session.
However, upon seeing his condition, she cancelled it, comnting on how worn out he looked, and citing that he needed a break.
“I’m… fine,” he said, his voice tight.
Lilliana tilted her head, her tone softening.
“You know, the other professors and I were shocked when Carlen started giving you a lesson in the middle of a duelling examination. The teaching assistants were panicking, not knowing what to do. It was a funny sight.”
A humourless chuckle escaped Soren’s lips.
“Not that it mattered.”
“It’s not your fault,” she said, carefully. “You know better than anyone that you tried your best.”
Her words should have been comforting, but they barely registered in his mind.
He had failed, or at least that was how his mind interpreted it.
“I was watching,” she continued, “and for the most part, the professors were praising your performance. You had the Hero on the ropes for a long ti. Even I was impressed.”
For a fleeting mont, he let himself accept her words.
Soren shifted his gaze to her.
“Can you help with sothing?”
The directness in his voice startled Lilliana, but she nodded.
“Uhm, if it’s sothing I can help with.”
Sothing in him was different.
His recent duel had only highlighted how precarious his footing had beco.
••✦ ♡ ✦•••
A few days later, Soren stood at his dorm window, staring at the night sky.
His head ached, and his mind still clung to self-doubt, but he moved nonetheless.
‘It’s ti.’
He grabbed the cloak from his chair and the book that Lilliana had helped him obtain.
Looking down at the ground, he raised his hand outside the window and cast a spell.
“「Bloom」”
All sorts of flowers and flora sprouted from the windowsill and continued to grow all the way down to the ground outside.
Then he swung his legs over so that he was sitting on the window before jumping out of it.
Thud
Soren was sneaking out of the dormitory.
“Stitch thy flesh, I end thy agony. 「Heal」”
He rubbed his leg as he stood up and started heading towards his destination.
Half an hour later, he arrived at his destination.
[Stellaris Cetery]
[The resting place for the unfortunate souls who lived as hard as they fought.]
This was where his mories had led him.
Stellaris Cetery, or in other words, the location of the second hidden piece.
His hands shook lightly, not from fear, but from exhaustion and the lingering weight of his fragile ntal state.
He walked around the cetery, making sure to avoid being caught by any patrolling guards, before stopping in front of a certain grave.
Before him, a faded headstone marked the location of the second hidden piece.
“「Inventory」”
He reached his hand into the translucent window and pulled out a shovel, then, without a hint of remorse, began digging up the grave, his muscles sore but his determination undiminished.
It was a strenuous and ti-consuming activity, but he had to do it now; he needed the strength that lay beneath his feet.
“Finally,” He said as he wiped the sweat from his brow and put the shovel back in his inventory.
Below him was a wooden coffin.
He crouched down and pulled it open, revealing a staircase, then he summoned his handaxe into one hand and an [Ignition] spell in the other, before descending into the darkness.
Step… step…
Step by step, he descended the staircase, tension gripping him like chains, but he still didn’t rush.
Even if he was desperate, he still wasn’t going to just run in and die without a thought.
At the bottom, a stone door lood.
Seeing that he let out a sigh of relief that it was the sa as he rembered before attaching his handaxe to his belt and summoning the book he had brought.
The book he was holding now was the help he had requested of Lilliana.
A book that ordinarily Soren would have been unable to get at this stage, as it ca from a quest given by the principal in the second sester.
But utilising his connections, he had managed to obtain it before the first sester was even over.
Of course, he wasn’t allowed to keep it.
– Here… I’m not sure why you need this, but please promise that you’ll give it back in a couple of days, and please… talk to if sothing is going on… we’re friends, aren’t we, Ren?
‘I’m sorry…’
He felt guilty for using Lilliana, but that didn’t change the fact that he needed the item hidden here.
Then, bringing his attention back to the door, he inspected it.
Right beneath the handles was a slot, a few inches thick.
Relief washed over him when the lock matched the book perfectly.
He slid it into place.
‘Thank god it’s the sa.’
He had been worried, given all the changes, that even simple things such as this would be different, but that wasn’t the case.
[Crystalised Mana] [By Lunaris Sona]
That was the title of the book.
At first glance, it looked like nothing special, but Soren knew the secret worth of this book and why the principal treasured it so much.
Research notes on a form of physical mana, created by one of the best geniuses in history, and also the assistant to the founder of the academy.
If sold, this book could garner enough to build and furnish an entire mansion in the capital of Fialova, which was how sought-after books by Lunaris were.
The book sat snugly in the gap and…
Click
Scrrraaaaaapppeeeee
The door slowly opened.
Soren readied himself the mont the door began sliding open.
His boots hit the cold stone floor of the crypt; his body was heavy, and his mind was foggy.
Soren’s mind replayed every battle he had fought up until now, every failure, every mistake.
Rumble…
Crash!
The sound of wood breaking ca from all directions, and within only seconds, skeletons sward Soren.
Soren inhaled sharply, his hands shook slightly as he raised the handaxe in his left, flas crackling faintly in his right.
‘Focus… don’t think about what could go wrong.’
Skeletons were undead of the lowest level, which ant that, fortunately, he shouldn’t have too much to worry about.
‘The real problem is that guy.’
Floating at the back of the room above a stone sarcophagus was a wraith, a low-level monster.
This ant that wraiths were an entire tier stronger than skeletons; not only that, but they also had complete immunity to physical attacks.
As the skeletons clattered back and forth as they stumbled towards him, he directed his palm towards the floor.
“「Ignition」”
Flas poured out in all directions, lightly scorching so of the closer skeletons, but that wasn’t why he launched the spell.
Sizzle…
In a room that had been filled with wooden coffins, the flas spread easily, keeping the room bright, freeing up Soren’s left hand.
Using that hand, he began channelling the purplish-silver light before charging at a nearby skeleton.
A flicker of doubt appeared in his mind as he raised his hand towards the oncoming horde.
‘What if I fail again…’
“Stitch thy flesh, I end thy agony. 「Heal」”
The closest skeleton exploded into ashes in an instant, relief washing over him for a mont, but it was fleeting.
His pulse raced; even now, the fear of losing, of misjudging the mont, gnawed away at his mind.
Another skeleton advanced, he swung, but his footsteps faltered, his arm brushing past it.
Head flared in his chest, not from magic, but from panic.
‘Calm down… just… one thing at a ti.’
He forced himself to breathe, channelling divine power in his hand.
Light erupted from his palm, disintegrating the nearest undead.
Soren, gritting his teeth, forced his body to move despite the ntal exhaustion.
His enemies right now weren’t just the monsters before him, no, it was also his own mind, a mind that had clouded over after experiencing a plethora of defeats.
Step by step, he engaged, swinging, casting, dodging.
He perford all those actions repeatedly as his body scread for rest.
Each movent he took carried a shadow of doubt.
‘Am I fast enough?’
‘Am I thinking too slowly?’
‘What if…’
The skeletons fell one by one, ash piling up around his boots, but Soren barely registered it.
Every skeleton that fell was a relief, relief tinged with fear that one mistake could undo everything.
Thud
He swung his handaxe at a nearby skeleton with his left arm, using the side of the weapon as skeletons were weak to blunt attacks, while channelling divine power with his right.
Woonggg—
“Cough!”
A cough escaped him as the heat stung his eyes.
He pulled a t-shirt from his inventory to cover his mouth, ignoring the heat and smoke.
He knew he could beat these skeletons, but the ntal strain weighed heavier than the physical.
Yet, even in that storm of doubt, sothing subtle began to settle.
Every swing, every spell, was deliberate.
He wasn’t reckless; he was cautious and aware.
And for the first ti, he acknowledged it; he was holding his own.
He had grown stronger.
The fog that had clouded his mind began to clear as he viewed himself objectively.
He rembered how much he struggled against the goblins back in Rena Forest, how even dealing with a horde of less than twenty had almost killed him, and yet now he was dealing with a monster of equivalent strength and dealing with them with ease at that.
It was just that every person he was around was a genius, leaving Soren to feel as if he was stagnant, which made him painfully aware of his own weaknesses.
He was weak.
Wooonggg!
He knew that.
He had never thought differently.
THUD!
But now he knew that he wasn’t as weak as he had thought.
A small smile crept onto his face.
“I’m doing fine,” He whispered, not loudly, but to himself.
He might not be as strong as Alex, but that was fine.
Smash!
He tossed aside all his worries about whether the story would go well and decided to just enjoy himself for now, mowing down easy enemies.
It was a form of stress relief for Soren, and he was able to release all the pent-up frustration that had been building up for a while.
The numbers rapidly disappeared until only one remained.
He was almost sad that it was over, but his mood had vastly improved since before the battle.
Soren placed his hand on the final skeleton's head, chanting heal one last ti, as the skeleton in his hand turned to ashes.
Just as he scanned the room, he noticed a flicker of movent.
The wraith, previously motionless, suddenly surged towards him, its dark, cloaked body twisting unnaturally as it shot through Soren’s body.
Soren barely had ti to register the attack before a system ssage was heard.
.
[Curse of Nightmares has been applied!]
.
A curse, he felt the lethargy creeping through his body; his eyelids grew heavy as his limbs stopped responding.
He desperately forced the mana in his body to activate, to flow into his still raised palm, and ever so slightly, ever so slowly, it moved.
Wooonggg
A magic circle ford in Soren’s hand, one that he had utilised many tis before.
Whoosh!
The wraith dashed around the room, its empty body flowing in the wind, before it suddenly turned towards Soren, noticing that he was still standing.
“Not… yet…!” He gritted his teeth to hold onto his fading consciousness.
Dash!
The wraith flew towards his body, ready to inflict the curse one more ti, but Soren was faster.
“「Ignition」”
Flas erupted from his palm, striking the wraith squarely.
The attack hit true, and the wraith shrieked in agony, its form twisting violently as the flas of [Ignition] seared its spectral body.
Thud
Unable to hold off the exhaustion any longer, Soren collapsed backwards onto the ground, panting, his eyelids drooping and his body going limp.
Slowly, his vision blurred until it went completely dark.
————「❤︎」————
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