༺ Chapter 110 - Sha (5) ༻
Soren Arden POV
Soren’s eyes opened slowly.
The ceiling above him looked the sa as yesterday: pale wood, faint cracks, a thin line of light leaking through the curtains.
His body felt heavy.
He blinked a few tis, trying to chase away the haze still clinging to his mind.
The lingering warmth from Olivia’s incantation had faded soti during the night, and with it, that fragile sense of calm began to crumble.
He exhaled quietly, his breath trembling as it left him.
‘How long did I even sleep?’
He couldn’t tell.
It felt like only minutes had passed since he closed his eyes.
A knock at the door made him flinch.
“Soren? Are you awake?”
Olivia’s voice ca through softly, carefully, as if testing the air.
He stared at the door for a mont before forcing himself to sit up, the blanket sliding off his shoulders.
His clothes were still wrinkled from the day before, and his hands trembled slightly as he reached for the clean shirt folded on the chair.
It took longer than it should have to get dressed.
The motions were chanical; familiar, but empty.
When he finished, he pulled the cloak tight around himself before stepping toward the door, hesitating only a mont before finally opening it.
Olivia stood there, smiling faintly.
“I was starting to think you’d fallen back asleep.”
Soren said nothing.
She tilted her head slightly, the brown strands of her hair catching the morning light from the hallway window.
“Mind if I co in?”
He stepped aside.
“Thanks,” she said quietly as she walked past him.
She set down a tray on the small desk by the wall before sitting in the chair, keeping a comfortable distance from the bed.
“I noticed you haven’t been eating much, so…” She gestured toward the tray that held a casual breakfast: a bowl of stew, so bread, and a cup of water. “I thought I’d bring you sothing.”
Soren stared at it for a few seconds before sitting down on the edge of the bed.
He didn’t say anything, just reached out and took the spoon.
The stew was lukewarm.
He swallowed slowly, forcing each bite down.
The bread was rough on his tongue; it felt like chewing sand.
Even the water tasted dull.
He didn’t stop, though; each mouthful was just another chanical motion.
Eat. Swallow. Breathe.
Olivia watched quietly.
She didn’t try to fill the silence, didn’t push him to speak.
Only her eyes moved, following the slight tremor in his hands.
When he set the spoon down for a mont, his fingers wouldn’t stop shaking.
She noticed.
“...Soren,” she murmured softly, lifting her hand slightly. “I’m going to cast it again, alright?”
He gave the smallest nod.
“Quiet thy storm, still thy heart. In the na of Aryn, peace shall find thee. 「ntal Care」”
A faint warmth spread through his chest, like sunlight pressing against cold skin.
His fingers slowly stopped trembling.
The noise in his head, that constant, gnawing pressure, dimd slightly.
He let out a breath, his shoulders sagging slightly.
‘It’s quiet again…’
The silence in the room changed.
It was softer, less suffocating.
Olivia rested her hands on her lap, watching him eat in peace for a while longer.
When he finished, she smiled faintly.
“See? Better than nothing.”
He only nodded in response, not trusting his voice to sound normal.
But when he glanced up at her, she caught it, that fleeting eye contact that seed more stable than yesterday.
••✦ ♡ ✦•••
The days passed slowly.
One blurred into the next, market only by the soft rhythm of Olivia’s visits and the distant noise of the tavern below.
Soren did not keep track of ti anymore.
He no longer had a reason to; he had long stopped going on quests.
He only knew it was night when the window went dark, and morning when it wasn’t.
Sotis he would lie awake for hours, staring at the ceiling, his thoughts empty.
Other tis, he would sit by the window, watching the street lamps flicker against the cobblestones.
The world outside felt too far away, too alive.
When Olivia knocked that night, he hesitated before answering.
“Hey,” she greeted quietly as he opened the door. “You’re still awake.”
He nodded once.
She leaned against the doorfra, glancing at the moonlight spilling across the floorboards.
“It’s quiet tonight.”
A small pause.
“Want to go for a walk?”
Soren blinked.
“...A walk?”
“Just outside,” she said gently. “You don’t have to go far. I think so fresh air might help.”
He shook his head without even thinking.
“No.”
Olivia smiled a little.
“You don’t have to do much. Just a few steps. Then you can co right back.”
Soren’s gaze dropped to the floor.
The thought of stepping outside made his stomach twist.
‘Why?’
He didn’t know.
He had been walking through forests and towns only days ago, but now, even picturing the open street made his chest tighten.
“I don’t—” he started, but his voice cracked halfway through.
Olivia didn’t push; she waited, letting the silence settle.
Finally, she spoke.
“You don’t have to talk. Just… try.”
He didn’t answer, but after a long mont, he pulled his cloak tighter and followed her out.
••✦ ♡ ✦•••
The corridor was empty.
Only a single magic lamp glowed at the far end, its light dim and flickering.
The tavern below was silent; the chairs stacked, the tables wiped clean, and the air still heavy with the sll of ale.
Soren moved slowly, each step careful, like he was afraid the floor might collapse beneath him.
When they reached the door, Olivia turned the handle gently and pushed it open.
A faint breeze swept in, carrying the sll of rain with it.
The streets were quiet.
Lanterns lined the cobblestone path, their glow painting soft gold onto the puddles left from earlier rain.
Olivia stepped out first.
She looked back at him, smiling encouragingly.
Soren hesitated, staring at the gap between the door and the street.
It felt wider than it should’ve.
But after a mont, he forced himself to move.
The air outside was cool, brushing against his face.
He drew in a slow breath, the first clean one in days.
They stood there in silence for a while; Olivia watching the stars, and Soren’s gaze fixed on the ground.
Then, softly, she praised him.
“Well done.”
He looked up, surprised.
“I’m sure it wasn’t easy,” she continued. “But you did it.”
Soren’s lips twitched slightly, not quite a smile, but sothing close.
“...It’s just standing outside,” he muttered.
“That’s fine,” she replied. “That’s enough.”
Her tone was light, kind.
He looked away again, the faintest bit of tension easing from his shoulders.
The moonlight reflected in his crimson eyes, softer than before.
For a few brief seconds, the world felt still.
The quiet wasn’t heavy, just calm.
Olivia glanced at him once more, a small glimr of relief in her eyes.
“Let’s go back,” she said gently.
He nodded.
When they returned to the inn, she paused at the door.
“See? Not so bad.”
Soren didn’t answer, but he didn’t need to.
His silence wasn’t cold this ti, just tired.
As she left him with a quiet goodnight, he sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the faint glow seeping through the curtains.
‘Maybe… it really wasn’t so bad.’
••✦ ♡ ✦•••
Ti passed quietly after that night.
Soren didn’t change much, but the silence felt different now, less suffocating.
He still barely spoke, still moved slowly, still avoided eting anyone’s eyes for too long, but he didn’t flinch when Olivia knocked.
He didn’t turn away when she entered.
That was enough.
When she ca by again the next afternoon, she carried another tray of food that had gone lukewarm by the ti it reached his room.
“Still better than nothing,” she said slightly as she set it down on the desk. “You’ll make the tavernkeep cry if you keep refusing his food, you know?”
Soren gave a faint sound that might have been a quiet chuckle.
Or maybe she had just imagined it.
He sat on the edge of the bed and began to eat without complaint.
The bread was dry, the stew bland, but he kept going, forcing down each bite carefully.
He didn’t shake as much this ti.
Olivia watched him quietly for a while before she began to talk.
Her words drifted softly through the room, idle things, harmless things.
The weather, how she had almost been scamd by a street vendor that morning, how the guild receptionist was giving Alex subtle looks.
Soren listened, though he didn’t say much.
Sotis, his eyes flicked toward her briefly before returning to his food.
That, too, was progress.
After a bit, her tone shifted subtly.
“You know,” she said, “sumr break’s almost over. Hard to believe we’ll be attending classes again soon.”
Soren froze mid-motion.
The spoon hovered just inches from his mouth.
She noticed it imdiately.
“...What’s wrong?”
He didn’t answer.
His eyes had gone wide, his expression frozen.
Olivia tilted her head, concern replacing her earlier playfulness.
“Soren?”
“I’m tired,” he said quietly, regaining control over his expression.
His voice was thin, the words trembling near the end.
He set the spoon down carefully, almost chanically, and placed the tray back onto the desk.
Olivia hesitated, lips parting as if to say sothing, but she stopped herself.
“...Alright,” she said softly. “Get so rest.”
She gathered the tray, her movents gentle and deliberate, as though afraid any sudden motion might shatter him completely.
“Goodnight, Soren.”
He didn’t reply.
When the door closed behind her, the room fell silent once more.
Soren sat there for a long ti, staring blankly at the spot where she had been.
The words lingered in his mind, echoing faintly.
– Hard to believe we’ll be attending classes again soon
He leaned back slowly, fingers curling into the blanket on the bed.
‘Soon…’
There wasn’t much ti remaining before the academy opened once again.
That ant that there was also not much ti remaining until the dungeon was discovered.
He had planned to clear it ages ago, right after clearing the Goblin King’s Nest, before… they had appeared, before his thoughts started to rot from the inside out.
If he missed it now, soone else would take the first clear.
Soone else would claim that item that he needed so desperately.
He clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white.
He had to get it.
If he missed out on that item, he would fall behind again.
He pressed his hands to his face, his breathing uneven.
If he kept sitting here, wasting ti, the thing that broke him would win.
He couldn’t let that happen.
He didn’t want to repeat his mistakes again.
He wouldn’t let himself.
His mind spun faster the longer he thought about it, each thought tightening around the next until his chest felt heavy.
‘If I go now, I won’t bother anyone.’
‘They don’t need to know.’
‘I’ll be fine, I’ve gotten stronger.’
He stood up abruptly, his boots thudding against the floor.
His inventory was already stocked: camping supplies, potions, food.
He had filled it ages ago, preparing himself for any situation that might co his way.
He rechecked everything with chanical precision.
After he was done, he pulled on his cloak, tightening the hood around his face.
His hands trembled slightly, but he ignored them.
He needed to move before Olivia’s incantation wore off, before the thoughts ca back.
••✦ ♡ ✦•••
The inn was silent when Soren opened his door.
The faint moonlight spilt across the hallway floor, each creak of the wood sounding far too loud in the stillness.
He stepped carefully, slow and deliberate, avoiding every loose board he rembered.
When he reached the stairs, he paused.
The tavern below was empty now, the chairs stacked, and he moved through it quietly, barely breathing.
When he reached the front door, his hand hovered over the handle.
He hesitated.
Then…
“Where are you going?”
The voice cut through the silence like a blade.
Soren froze, the air catching in his throat.
He turned slightly, eyes adjusting to the dim light.
At the bottom of the stairs stood Alex, sloppily dressed in a training outfit, his sword hanging on his back.
The glow of the moonlight through the windows cast long shadows across his face, sharpening his tired expression.
Soren didn’t respond; he just gripped the handle tighter.
Alex stepped closer, slow and careful, the kind of movent one used near sothing fragile.
“You were going to leave, weren’t you?”
Soren’s silence was answer enough.
Alex sighed quietly.
“You can’t go alone,” he said. “Not when you’re like this.”
Soren’s shoulders tensed.
“...It’s sothing I need to do,” he muttered, barely above a whisper.
His tone carried a desperate edge, pleading, almost.
“...I’ll be fine.”
But as if betraying his words, his hands were shaking, and they both knew he was lying.
Alex took another step forward.
Soren instinctively stepped back.
The movent was small, but it was still there; the way his body tensed, how his grip on the door handle tightened again.
Alex paused, noticing, and his voice softened.
“I get it,” he said quietly. “But you’re not fine.”
He hesitated for only a mont before continuing, his tone steady.
“If it’s that important, then we’ll go with you.”
It wasn’t a suggestion.
Soren looked down, the shadow of his hood hiding his expression.
For a while, neither of them spoke.
The faint wind outside crept through the cracks in the door, carrying the sll of the city night.
Finally, Soren exhaled.
“...Fine.”
He didn’t sound convinced, just tired.
Alex nodded slightly.
“Wait here. I’ll get Olivia.”
As Alex turned toward the stairs, Soren leaned back against the wall, pressing a trembling hand over his face.
He stayed like that for a while, breathing slowly, trying to steady himself.
————「❤︎」————
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