There was not much to say, so Shen Yu just stayed silent and gave her the warmth she needed. He felt her her stiff body loosening up and knew she was getting relaxed.
Li Xiaojing smiled bitterly.
"My Sect still didn't give up and the Emperor easily massacred the mbers of my sect. He's a cruel bastard so he massacred only n who tried to resist and kept won alive. For one simple reason, he wanted to give them to his soldiers to play with."
She sighed and continued her tragic tale.
"I had lost my will to live, honestly. But I knew everything was because of , so I accepted his proposal. I used so thods which I don't want to go in details for now, to force him to make the empress and also let go of my Sect.
"Even though he's a madman, he knows how to do things. He knew if he tried to push us to the end, he would just get a backlash. Our sect has a history of many years, after all."
She sighed.
"And that big incident ended with marrying the Emperor and becoming the Empress. On the first night, he defiled and honestly, I don't even rember that day. It was a chore to . After that day, he lost interest in for so reason and never bothered with .
"I was fine with it and simply secluded myself from everything, wondering why was I even alive at that point? What was the point of my existence? I thought of ending my life a lot but I couldn't bring myself to do that for so reason."
She touched her stomach and smiled genuinely, for the ti in a while.
"After a few days, I found out that I was pregnant. I didn't know how to feel about that, honestly. It was a bizarre feeling, I was so young and was already pregnant. I didn't know what to do with that information, especially since I never wanted to raise that bastard's child. But the child was still my blood in the end and I couldn't bring myself to end the fragile life."
Li Xiaojing could feel the walls she had built around her heart crumbling down, as she felt the warmth beside her. Smiling, she continued.
"What was it's fault? None! So, I decided to raise the child. But I knew given my unstable position, even if the child was born in this world, it would not live a good life. Heck, even being alive was impossible. So, I finally found my resolve and reason to live. I wanted the child to grow up and live a life I could not."
Her eye showed firm determination as she rembered her old days.
"It might sound I'm arrogant but I was always good at making people like , as if I had a strange charisma to . I used many sches, plans, my own Cultivation and a lot of things to gather my own faction secretly. By the ti the Emperor knew of it, my faction had grown imnsely powerful, especially since it included the remnants of Mystic Moon Sect."
Her smile turned strange as she said.
"I was happy as I was finally able to relax a little, since Xiaoyan was happily enjoying her childhood. Unfortunately, it was as if the heavens was infuriated that I was finally smiling so it decided to throw my life into chaos once again."
Shen Yu listened everything without intervening, as he was also interested in her past.
"I had read records about the Eyes of Heaven so when Xiaoyan was showing the signs for that, I knew what it was. Knowing it, I got scared and decided to seal it. Since you know what it is, then you should know how dangerous it can be. I was afraid of things she can see. But as ti went by, I noticed that Xiaoyan was beginning to behave a little strangly. I tried to find the reason but there was nothing wrong with her, so I contacted the most knowledgeable I know."
Seeing the faint smile on her face, Shen Yu asked.
"Your mother?"
Li Xiaojing smiled.
"Yes, my mother, the Sect Leader of Mystic Moon Sect. She was adventurous in her younger years and had collected information about many things. So when I contacted her, she told to unseal Xiaoyan's eyes as they were harming her.
"Unfortunately, you know how the events after unsealing were. Xiaoyan just grew scared of everything, even of her own mother. I still rember the fearful look she gave back then, that really hurted , you know. But I couldn't even bla her."
She took a deep breath and continued.
"But I didn't give up. She is my daughter, my everything. So, although it took so ti, I gradually brought her back to normal with my love and support, or atleast that's what I thought. But looking back, I guess she just got used to everything and matured early on. She saw my intentions and decided to open her heart to , but that was only for . It was then I learned of the things she saw in her Visions, the things that had been tornting her for years. I cried a lot that night while hugging her."
A bittersweet smile appeared on her face as she said.
"And that silly child accompanied and comforted . She was the one who was going through all that, but I was the one who needed to comfort. I really am pathetic, aren't I?"
Shen Yu chuckled softly.
"I disagree with that. I'm sorry, I'm not good with words so I can't really express my feelings properly. But, you are the greatest mother I've ever known, Xiaojing. It's just the circumstances which forced you and Zhiyan into such a state. Honestly, I can't imagine myself doing the sa if I was in either of your's shoes. So, don't look down yourself, as you are also looking down on Zhiyan by doing that. You are her everything, she looks upto you so are you saying her judgent is bad?"
Li Xiaojing was stumped.
"You say you aren't good with words, yet in such a short ti, you have shaken my heart so much just by your words. You truly are devious one, Hubby."
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