Chapter Sixty Three
My feet carried us to a small park a few blocks away, where the noise of the city faded to a distant hum. The mont we stopped, everything inside shattered.
The sobs ca like a dam bursting, violent and raw. My knees buckled and I collapsed onto a bench, my whole body convulsing with grief I’d kept locked away for these.
Kieran didn’t say anything. He just sat beside and pulled against his chest, his arms wrapping around so tightly I could feel his heartbeat against my cheek. One hand cradled the back of my head while the other rubbed slow circles on my back.
"It’s okay," he whispered into my hair, his voice softer than I’d heard it in years. "I’ve got you. You’re safe."
But I wasn’t okay. Four years of buried pain poured out of - the nights I’d cried myself to sleep, wondering what was wrong with , the way I’d thrown away every doll and scrubbed the polish from my nails, hoping Dad would co back, the guilt of knowing his leaving was my fault.
Kieran held through all of it, never loosening his grip, never telling to stop. His shirt grew damp with my tears, but he didn’t seem to care. He just held like he used to when we were kids and I’d scraped my knee or had a nightmare during one of our sleepovers.
When the worst of it finally passed, I beca painfully aware of how I must look. Red-eyed, snotty, clinging to the boy who’d spent years tornting . I tried to pull away, embarrassnt creeping in, but Kieran’s arms tightened, keeping close to him.
"What did you see in there?" His voice was gentle but firm, demanding an answer.
I knew he rembered my father from when we were kids, but by the ti my parents divorced, we’d already fallen apart. He probably didn’t even know when they separated.
"I saw my dad there," I confessed, my voice hoarse. "I thought I was over it. I wanted to confront him, ask him all the questions I’ve held for years, but I couldn’t."
Fresh tears started falling and I quickly wiped them away, frustrated with myself.
"He was there with... with so woman. He looked happy. I don’t want to hate him, but I do, I really do," I whispered, the words scraping my throat raw.
"I understand, I get you," His voice was so low that I almost didn’t hear him.
But I did.
And his eyes, those silver steel, did sothing to . I felt seen, soone understood the resentnt I felt.
The words began to tumble out before I could stop them. "I hate him for leaving us. Why did he always make feel that I wasn’t the son he wanted? He made believe that he was so disgusted with and couldn’t stay, and the whole ti he was cheating on my mom, he had a whole different family"
"Ollie" Kieran pulled back just enough to look at , his eyes blazing with an intensity that made my breath catch. "Listen to . What happened - what he did - that’s on him. Not you. Never you."
His hands cupped my face, thumbs brushing away new tears.
The certainty in his voice, the way he looked at like I was worth defending, made my heart stutter. In a good way. No, a very bad way!
I could see myself falling.
This was bad!
I looked away from his gaze just as Kieran reached into his pocket and pulled sothing out.
A small wrapped candy.
Without a word, he placed it in my palm.
I stared at it, a laugh bubbling up through my tears. "Really? I’m not eight anymore."
"You always felt better after candy," he said simply.
The gesture was so achingly familiar it made my chest tight. Whenever I’d cried as a child, Kieran had always appeared with candy from his pocket. After our friendship ended, I’d started hating sweets - they reminded too much of what I’d lost.
But this one, offered by him with such gentle care, made warmth spread through my chest.
I unwrapped it slowly and placed it on my tongue, the sweetness a stark contrast to the salt of my tears. We sat in comfortable silence, and for the first ti since seeing my father, I could breathe normally.
"Thank you," I whispered, leaning to relax against the bench. I wasn’t thanking him for the sweet, but the fact that he’d cared enough to comfort while I’d stupidly let the tears burst from my eyes. He hadn’t made fun of nor called a crybaby, he’d just held while I stained him with snot.
No no no
Stop thinking about it!
’He treated you nicely for once and you’re going to fall for him? YOU ARE SO CHEAP OLIVER!! ’ A mini dressed in a black devilish cloak scread into my ears as it bounced on my shoulder in outrage, to snap out of the pit I was falling into.
’Don’t save , I don’t want to be saved! Let fall!’ The mini dressed in a white cloak with a halo above its head argued back.
I rolled my eyes at them. It was bold of them to assu I would follow any of their decisions.
I am !
Hmph!
I do things my way!!!
The candy dissolved quickly - I’d always been impatient with sweets, crunching them between my teeth instead of letting them lt.
"Do you have another one?" I asked, extending my hand expectantly, I just knew he had more than one.
Kieran’s lips curved in a small devious smile. "I was saving it for myself, but..." He pulled out another candy, holding it just out of reach. "You may have to pay for this one,"
"Forget it then," I scoffed, just knowing that his price would be too heavy for to pay.
"Tsk, even if you don’t take it, you still owe ," He reached over to pat my hair, and I tried to shrink away, but it was too late.
"What kind of logic was that? And stop petting like a dog."
His hair was still perfectly styled, I would be the only one walking around like I’d been struck by lightning.
His hand was still on my hair, and it was the perfect ti to attack. I snatched the new candy from his grip, tearing it open and shoving it into my mouth before he could stop .
I sucked on the new candy with glee, take that for letting your guard down!
"I told you I really wanted it, Ollie," Kieran voice dropped in a way that made the hairs on my nape rise, and I beca increasingly aware of how intently Kieran was watching .
He’d moved closer on the bench, close enough that I could sll his cologne.
"Don’t even think about it," I said with my mouth full, wetting the candy even more. No way he would want it when it’s been contaminated.
Hehehehehe
This was a smart move, I chuckled inwardly, and then visibly made a show of running the tip of my tongue over the lollipop just to taunt him.
Wait. . .
Sothing wasn’t right.
Maybe it was because Kieran was watching too closely and his gaze felt even darker than before. He made a low deep sound in his throat that made my stomach flip.
Don’t tell he thought I was giving him a . . . Signal??!
No way!
Hell no!
Feeling self-conscious under his stare, I bit down on the candy, breaking it into pieces in my mouth.
There.
Now he definitely couldn’t have it and if he was thinking anything else, I was shattering it right away.
I looked at him smugly, but my triumph was short-lived as his hand shot out to grasp the back of my neck, and his fingers tangled into my hair.
Our eyes t for just a second - his dark and intense, mine wide with surprise - before he pulled forward and pressed his lips against mine.
The kiss was firm, demanding. His tongue swept into my mouth, collecting every broken piece of candy with deliberate slowness. The sweetness mixed with the taste of him made my head spin.
When he finally pulled back just enough to speak, his lips still brushing mine, he murmured, "Candy always tastes sweeter from your mouth."
Before I could process his words, he was kissing again. Only this ti, sothing in responded. My hands fisted in his shirt and I kissed him back, pouring all my confused emotions into the connection between us.
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