Chapter FORTY TWO
**Kieran Morrison**
’... But you already lost that little boy, Kieran...’
Although his voice sounded no more than a faint whisper, the effect of it was like a million knives slashed across my heart.
It was all .
I had been the one who drove the spear of hate straight into the heart of my childhood best friend.
He had always been so carefree, so optimistic and joyous, so, I had always assud it was just that was left to wallow in grief and loneliness after my sister’s death.
I thought it was just suffering.
The anguish in those green eyes that threatened tears amounted to the heaviness that settled in my heart.
I wanted to say so many things to him, I wanted to apologize for everything, but the words were stuck in my throat.
Of what use would it be?
A simple apology would never erase all the anger, hate, and abuse that had been dished out to him by over the years.
"I’m sorry, Ollie." The words finally managed to pour out from my mouth.
His gaze widened as though he hadn’t expected it.
Our gaze locked in silence and the prolonged quiet drilled at my insides.
I was growing desperate because I badly wanted him to say anything, even a ’go to hell’ would be better than nothing.
"Y-you are sorry?" he choked out, staring at in disbelief.
I inhaled deeply, running my fingers through my hair raggedly because I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t have any idea on how to make anything better.
I guess it was always easier to ruin things than to fix them back once broken.
But even as I stood there, sothing darker was stirring inside because the thought of him walking away, of losing him completely, made my chest tighten with a possessiveness I couldn’t control.
He was mine to protect, mine to hurt, mine to fix, and I wasn’t ready to let him go.
He clasped his fingers together, that nervous habit he’d developed over the years and for a mont he looked like the scared little boy I used to know.
"Even if you don’t hate anymore, we can never go back to how we used to be. We aren’t kids anymore and we will never regain our lost childhood. We also cannot ever be friends again, not after everything, but can I please request sothing from you, Kieran?"
My jaw clenched because I could already sense where this was going and sothing dark flashed through .
"Just leave alone, Kieran. Whatever you are doing, just stop it. It’s getting so suffocating and uncomfortable. I don’t like you, and you are not wired to like either, so from now on, can I ask you to just ignore ? It would make things easier for if you do so."
As simple as his soft-spoken words sounded, I knew leaving him alone was going to be impossible.
Leave him alone?
Be it in friendship or hate, he had always taken a huge part of my life and I could never ignore him, not even if I tried to.
’I don’t like you, Kieran.’
Why did those words leave a sour taste in my mouth? Of course, he fucking wouldn’t like considering our relationship, but why did hearing him say it aloud suddenly feel like a hard punch to my guts?
The silence that followed was deafening and I watched him take a step back when sothing inside of snapped.
"You want to leave you alone?" I said slowly, even though everything within was vibrating towards an explosion.
He nodded, the certainty in his eyes cutting deep.
"After everything we’ve been through, after I just apologized to you, you want to pretend you don’t exist?"
Just thinking about it was spiraling my head out of control.
"I can’t do that, Oliver," I said, stepping closer until he could feel the heat radiating from my body. "You’re mine. You’ve always been mine, whether you like it or not."
"I’m not yours," he whispered, his voice shaking.
I tilted my head down at him, but his eyes widened in alarm as he turned his head to the other side of the wall. Probably not wanting a repeat of earlier, but his slender neck was now turned to , every instinct in my body wanted to mar the perfect skin, I pushed back the thoughts because I wanted to do more, If he knew so of my secret fantasies, he would probably file a restraining order against
"I’ve spent eight years of my life thinking about you, hating you, wanting to hurt you. Do you really think I can just switch that off?"
"You don’t want to ignore because you care about ," He spoke, staring at once again as he whispered "You want to keep close because I’m part of your revenge. You can hurt , Kieran, but behaving this horribly and acting this strange because you know I’m gay is a new kind of low, even for you!"
His eyes were filled with disgust as he regarded . Before I could fully grasp the aning of his statent, he turned and ran, and I just stood there watching him disappear.
He thought this was a new ga I was playing?
**OLIVER WEST**
I sniffed aloud, wiping off my face with the tissue William continuously provided because why was I always such a crybaby? But these damn tears just wouldn’t stop.
Why was I crying?
This was supposed to be what I wanted, wasn’t it? For him to finally acknowledge what he’d done to ?
He had apologized to but why hadn’t it felt genuine? Why did it feel like he was just saying what he thought I wanted to hear? Because this was another ga to him. Did he hate my sexuality so much that he was taking his revenge in this direction?
The more I thought about it, the more confused I was.
What exactly did Kieran want from now?
And the way he had looked at when I asked him to leave alone, like I was sothing that belonged to him that he wasn’t willing to give up.
He hadn’t denied it when I told him he wanted to keep close for his revenge, that silence had been answer enough.
So what did Kieran want?!
This whole charade of pretending to be gay. Was he doing this only to mock ? But wasn’t it damaging to his reputation? If everyone thought he was dating the gay loser guy, it would do more harm to him than , the more I thought about it.
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! I scread inwardly.
The confusion was eating alive.
William shot a sympathetic look after he had practically forced everything from my mouth.
Well, not literally everything because I left out the part about Ginny which was the reason Kieran hated .
The bell rang, signaling the end of break period and I threw the last of my tissues into the nearest trash can.
"You like him," his voice sounded from behind and I whirled around to et his gaze which appeared to be thinking hard about sothing.
"What?" The strangled word left my mouth even though I knew what he was talking about.
"Your bully for years finally apologized to you, but you’ve been crying ever since then. You are not happy or angry at him, you are confused and hurt, which ans you have feelings for him," he said slowly.
My ears rang in denial, "I don’t have feelings for him! I hate him. Besides, he’s not even gay rember? He simply wants to tornt my life!" I ranted but William simply continued as though I’d not spoken.
"Who knows? He might be secretly gay. The most homophobic guys are usually the ones in the closet. Oh shit. Don’t tell this is about to turn into one of those cliche bully falls in love with victim stories,"
"William! This is not a joke," I glared hard at him.
"Who said I was joking? I saw him watching you today, throughout all the classes, he kept staring after you like you were the only person in the world. Maybe your bully has feelings for you too."
"IMPOSSIBLE!" I eyed him with pure disbelief, I couldn’t even allow myself to indulge the idea.
"Why is it not possible? My best friend is so hot that even straight guys are turning gay for him." William laughed and I knocked his head, earning a yelp from him.
"Stop with the nonsense!"
"It’s not nonsense! I think we are about to have a villain in our special love story." He grabbed my neck, his eyes turning nearly evil as he smooched my cheek with a loud sound "As the protagonist, I can’t let the villain take you away from . Don’t be scared, I’ll fight for your love,"
"William!" I scread playfully, taking a quick glance around just in ti hear the shutter sound of a picture being taken.
My eyes dropped from their sockets as I saw Raya giggling away after mouthing what sounded like ’Fighting!’
WHAT THE HELL!!
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