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Fourth Quadrant.

Planet Foxtrot-435 aka Fountain.

Gorbol Training Academy.

dical Bay 2.

Point-Twos patience was beginning to wear thin. They had been summoned to the dical bay by a drone, and a thin bony man in a white coat had lectured them on the need for data. Their data. He had made it sound very important and rather antiseptic.

The guild needed clean data. Whole data. Data without impurities. The trainees were implored to practice statistical hygiene by the man who called himself Dr Thimble but had more of a mad scientist air about him rather than that of a caring dical professional.

None of that had annoyed Point-Two. They were welco to take as many readings as they deed necessary. There was no problem as far as he was concerned, or as far as the other trainees were concerned. All apart from one: Ubik.

If it werent for that little nuisance, they would have received their lecture on how their asurents would help make them better mbers of the guild and better n in general, then they would have slotted various parts of their bodies in different machines and carried out so simple instructions. Run around, held their breath, tried very hard not to blink, and that would be that. It would have been all over in under an hour.

Thanks to Ubik, though, they were still waiting to have their heights and weights confird.

He had insisted on being told what each machine did and how it did it. The chanical construction, the theoretical basis, the voltages used. The doctor had obliged, proud to show off the academys range of state of the art equipnt.

Ubik had not been satisfied. He had asked to see the circuitry next and then the fuel cells. He had asked very specific technical questions, so of which the doctor had had to look up, which hadnt pleased him.

The rest of the trainees had waited and grown restless. Until, that was, Ubik declared two of the machines to be dangerously unstable. Which would have been a wild claim to make if he hadnt gone on to prove it using a glass of water in one case and a strand of hair in another.

The glass of water had begun bubbling when placed in the recess ant for the subjects hand, even though the genetic spectroter wasnt turned on. And the single strand of hair taken from the shoulder of one of the trainees (who was shedding hair at an alarming rate) had started smoking when it was inserted into the opening in the perfectly safe testicular resonance imager. That one had started to turn the tide in Ubiks favour.

I assure you these machines are all regularly tested and maintained, insisted Dr Thimble, visibly flustered by the revelation of defective machines under his managent. I dont know what happened here, but we have more equipnt in the other dical bay. Well use them instead.

Id rather not, said Ubik. There were so murmurs of agreent.

This isnt optional, said Dr Thimble. He was trying to regain so asure of control but it wasnt going very well. There was a sheen of perspiration on his large forehead that wasnt helping his cause.

Point-Two took a slow breath. He was at the back of the group, with a clear line of sight on the door as was his habit. There was no threat here, nothing to be alard about, but it was a waste of ti to just wait for Ubik to get tired of whatever ga he was playing. He exchanged a look with Roddin who had tried to curb Ubiks tendencies earlier. Roddin gave him an apologetic look and turned away. Too late now.

The Princep said we were going to be judged on every aspect of our behaviour while we were here, Ubik was saying to the doctor. This is giving you an idea of the kind of behaviour you can expect. If I see a problem, Im not going to keep quiet about it.

Yes, yes, I see, very good, said Dr Thimble, right at the edge of his tolerance. Point-two sympathised. Thats all well and good for once you begin the program, but this is the pre-program part of the training. Theres no need to make your stand for personal freedom yet.

The program began the mont we signed up, isnt that right Supervisor Varruk? Ubik was looking at their groups supervisor, who was standing behind the doctor. He hadnt stepped in to prevent Ubiks attempt at pre-program insurrection. Which led Point-Two to think Ubik was right.

That is the case, yes, said Varruk, confirming Point-Twos suspicion. If anything, Varruk seed amused. Point-Two also suspected this was intentional on Ubiks part.

Point-Two was about ready to step in himself, but he knew it would only delay things longer. The only viable play here was to wait. Or a choke hold.

He did wonder why the little shit was making such a fuss. It was already clear his habit was to run nurous scams at the sa ti, keeping the various people too busy and off-balance to respond adequately you had to admire his handling of a multi-target approach but how was this going to win him any favours?

It was a question worth considering. Point-Two expected Ubik to use this thodology as his main form of engagent. Given ti, he would employ it against Point-Two. Now was the best ti to analyse how he operated.

All Im saying, said Ubik, is that there is no purpose to taking any readings. They tell you nothing beyond various asurents that have no bearing on performance in a real setting.

But what harm does it do to humour us? asked Dr Thimble, teeth barely parting as he spoke.

The harm is done in creating a false hierarchy which will be used to judge us, said Ubik. You might be able to work out who is objectively the fastest runner, but in a race to the last seat on a ship leaving an exploding planet do you think soones going to fire a starting pistol and everyone will keep to their lane? No. A clinical setting provides the opposite of an objective environnt for these tests. There are a whole bunch of factors that need to be taken into account, and different ones for each specific situation.

Dr Thimble was hanging on by a very thin string. If he snapped, what then? Ubik no doubt had a contingency plan in place already. Point-Two would have chosen to avoid that outco, but Ubik was apparently deliberately heading in that direction.

But we arent using these readings to compare you to each other, said the doctor, were using them to compare your own personal growth over ti. You see? Were testing to see if youre improving.

And what if I dont improve? How I perform in a test run, under sterile conditions, doesnt have any bearing to the real world. Or the Antecessors world.

It wasnt a completely illogical point he was making, it was just irrelevant. But Point-Two didnt think he was quite as arbitrary in his actions as his behaviour might suggest as his behaviour was designed to suggest. He had an underlying purpose. He ssed with people for a reason.

Point-Two had been raised to think in terms of play and counter-play. The chances these machines had failed just now, under a trainees surprisingly thorough inspection, were very small. The chances that Ubik had deliberately sabotaged the machines was much, much higher. Point-Two hadnt seen him do it, but it was too likely to be dismissed for such a flimsy reason. Ubik didnt want to have his readings taken. He was either very shy or he had sothing to hide.

It was interesting up to a point, but it was also ti-consuming. Point-Two didnt think he would learn much more from the current stand-off. He had already learned quite a lot.

Can I make a suggestion? said Point-Two. Heads turned as a new challenger entered the fray. Why dont we use the equipnt that is working and decide on the broken two at the end? At least allow those of us willing to take the risk to do so. I understand we start early tomorrow and we still have dinner to eat. Supervisor Varruk was saying earlier how important it was we dont miss any als.

Point-Two hoped to cut through the stalemate and at least move things along a bit. Since only two of the machines had shown signs of needing repair the genetic spectroter and the testicular resonance imager it seed reasonable to assu only those two would reveal Ubiks secret. What did DNA and testicles have in common?

I dont mind going first, Point-Two added. He headed towards the first machine.

His readings were taken painlessly. The others followed his lead. Even Ubik allowed himself to be scanned.

When there were only the two broken machines left, Dr Thimble made a decision to delay the asurents from being taken until a maintenance crew had overhauled the internal workings. Nothing mattered as much as the health of the trainees, was what he said. Ive had enough of this crap, was what Point-Two was fairly sure he was thinking.

As they followed their droid back to their barracks, Point-Two moved through the group until he was walking alongside Ubik.

Interesting reluctance to sharing your private information you have, he said.

Ubik looked up, a little startled. You move very quietly. You have to show how you do that. He looked down at Point-Twos feet. Delgados?

I dont know what that is, said Point-Two. I thought whatever youre trying to hide has to be sothing that the DNA machine and the testicular imager would both detect, but I think maybe its more likely youre using one as a smokescreen so you wont be too obvious. Thats what I would do, if I thought about it. And I had to think about it, which I dont think you do.

I have absolutely no idea what youre talking about, said Ubik. I was looking out for my health. My testicles and my DNA are both very important to .

I dont really care what youre up to or why, just make sure your interests and mine dont intersect and well be fine.

No intersecting. No problem.

Despite the threat, Point-Two was steadily projecting, Ubik seed positively amiable. Nothing Point-Two had said had upset him in the least. He was a very hard nut to crack.

Like you said, continued Ubik, Im not one of the people you need to think of as competition. Its just the bald kid, right? You have nothing to worry about from my end. I like to keep things nice and peaceful and my balls healthy.

Sounds like a philosophy to live by, said Point-Two.

Im thinking of having it tattooed across my lower back, said Ubik. Speak of the devil

Sothing changed in Ubiks cheerful deanour. It had totally vanished. In its place was a dark look that sent a chill down Point-Twos back, and it wasnt even aid at him.

They had just entered their dormitory. Point-Two followed the direction Ubik was looking. His cold eyes were on the shaven-headed boy sitting on Ubiks bed, a cube held in his hands.

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