It was getting late into the night, and we had all agreed to take a break. Thankfully Bowen had brought Rosemary along, so Mila enjoyed her ti with her friend. I even think Dallin joined them.
So part of wanted to be a fly on the wall and watch them interact, but I thought better of it. It was probably best for Mila and Dallin to decompress on their terms and have a little fun after such an arduous and emotional day.
Not to ntion I was physically and emotionally drained and was in no mood to do anything. Even so…I wasn’t ready to go to bed just yet.
I finished my shower and put on so extra clothes, just a simple shirt, and pants. It was getting chillier but not enough to wear a long sleeve. Bowen’s spare hos were already heated to near perfection, so wearing anything extra would just make stuffy. I slipped out into the hallway and went straight for Sylvia’s room.
The hallways were quiet and illuminated by candles placed in sconces. I was hoping to catch her before she went to bed, so I knocked on the door to get her attention. I waited for a few monts, but I didn’t get an imdiate answer. I knocked a bit more forcefully. Once again, I was t with silence.
Is she asleep already? Should I…wake her up? I feel like letting her go to bed without at least talking to her would be a bad idea…
I shrugged and decided to seal my fate. I shook the doorknob, but there was no resistance, and the door swung open with ease. Apparently, Sylvia hadn’t bothered to lock the door.
“Sylvia? Are you in here?” I called out, my voice bouncing off the walls.
I took a step into the room and scanned around. Thanks to my Dragon eye, I could see through the darkness with ease. Despite the room being almost pitch black in one eye. I went right over to the candle on the nightstand and sighed. No wax had pooled at the bottom of the candle dish, which ant she hadn’t bothered lighting it, which was highly unusual of her. Sylvia always kept a light on.
I gave the bathroom door a single knock and placed my ear to it, but all I heard was my breathing. I opened the door, and the bathroom was unused. No steam from the shower or bath, the towels hadn’t been used, and no signs of Sylvia.
Did she…take a walk outside? That doesn’t seem like sothing Sylvia would do. She’s typically the type to roll up in so bed sheets and disappear from the world.
I was about to walk out of the room and check outside when my eyes drifted to the writing desk. Out of all the things in the room, that was probably the last thing I had expected Sylvia to use. Instead, I found a piece of paper, the ink still setting. It was a note… addressed to .
I’m heading back to the dorms for the night. I feel like it’s the best option right now. Your father agreed to look after Mila tonight, so don’t worry about it. Please get so rest. And don’t you dare co looking for . Spend so ti with your family. One more thing, please co to our room tomorrow evening, alone. Don’t make co looking for you.
I can feel her sass attacking from this note alone. She even told not to co looking for her…should I just ignore her? No…that would probably make her even angrier. And despite her frustrations…she is still thinking about . But she wants to co to our room alone? I an…I guess. I do have so plans in the morning…ah…whatever.
I folded the note and put it into my Spatial Ring with just a single thought. The slip of paper vanished into thin air, and I allowed my consciousness to dip into my ring just to make sure it was in there. I sighed to myself and scratched the back of my head. I had ntally prepared myself for this encounter and felt like all my energy had left .
Just one more person to talk to tonight. And I already know where to find her.
Despite the fatigue of the day washing over , I pressed on in search of a certain Elf. I knew where she was roughly, but luck was finally on my side as I saw her golden hair round a bend. I quickened my pace and called out to her.
“Mom."
My mother stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned her head to face . She smiled wryly but raised an eyebrow. “Sothing the matter, sweety?”
“We need to talk.”
Mom slowly turned around to face completely. She tilted her head in confusion, but the streamlined smile never left her face. “But we already had a long conversation…perhaps—”
“No,” I said quickly, not wanting her to formulate a half-hearted excuse to ignore . “I’m sorry, Mom, but I won’t be letting you worm your way out of this. I didn’t press you earlier because I knew you didn’t want to discuss it with everyone else. But now it’s just you and .”
“Kal…I don’t know what you are talking about. But, please, can we do this later?” my mom pleaded.
“No. Because if I let things stay as they are, we may never speak about it, always putting it off. Also, it concerns and my livelihood, considering everything I’ve learned so far. Mom, who are you really? And why did you set Cerila and up like that when we were kids? What were you hoping to accomplish by having marry her?” I asked seriously.
Mom let out a small yelp of surprise, and her eyes nervously went side to side as if she were looking for so escape. I had never seen her act like that, which was not what I had expected. Mom seed almost afraid…was she afraid of or what I was asked? I couldn’t be sure.
“Kal, please this—”
“Mom.”
Mom’s eyes went wide, and her shoulders slumped. She looked like a balloon that had been deflated, her nervousness replaced with a look of defeat.
“Kal, I’m so sorry…I…I never expected things would go this way…I…please don’t hate …I—”
“I would never hate you, Mom. Never. And I an that. Not a single day has passed that I haven’t thought of you guys. All I ever wanted was to return back ho to you, Dad, Cerila, Grandpa, and Padraic. I never blad you or Dad for what happened to . I just want to know why and who,” I asked again after I attempted to assuage her growing concerns.
And with that, Mom started breaking down. She fell to her knees, face in her hands and sobbing. I felt a pang of guilt for making Mom cry like this…I had made a promise that I never wanted to make Mom cry like this again…
But here I am.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and picked her up with ease. She felt so light in my arms it almost scared , but I realized that was just the difference between us now. I was no longer a little boy…I was far bigger than the person who brought into this world.
“Please, Mom…don’t cry…I didn’t an to make you cry.”
She just kept repeating that she was sorry, so I chose a room at random and opened the door. Thankfully it was one of this mansion's many sitting rooms. This one was a bit smaller, with only a single couch and chair combination facing a fireplace. I gently placed Mom onto the couch and took a seat next to her.
It took a few monts for her to calm down, and even I had to suck in a tear. Now wasn’t the ti for to cry. It would only prolong the suffering. I had to know this information.
Mom took one deep breath and checked her surroundings. She snatched a pillow off the couch and used it to wipe her tears and snot from her face. “Stupid—hic— pillow,” she mumbled in between sobs after tossing the poor thing across the room.
I feel bad for whatever cleaning lady is going to find that in the morning… ah, man…she got it all over the wall…maybe I’ll just grab it on my way out, save sobody the embarrassnt.
Mom gave an apologetic look and grabbed my hand. “Kal…I’m so sorry…I didn’t think that all of these terrible things would have happened….I—I just wanted you and Cerila to be happy. I would have never forced you two to do anything, I swear! I just…please…Kal…you have to believe …all I wanted was for you to experience the things I never did when I was young…I just wanted to help.”
“Mom…I…why? What brought you to this idea? What kind of life did you live?” I asked.
Mom sucked in her snot and wiped her bloodshot eyes with the corner of her sleeve. “I was always alone…I was the first child to the Emperor of Tel’an’duth…although I was illegitimate. My mother was a commoner…or so I was told…I never t her, and the emperor was very young at the ti. I was hidden away until my abilities could be determined. When I was old enough…I was trained…I trained every day and every night…sotis for days on end. I had the unfortunate luck of inheriting the emperor's lightning magic…a direct sign I was a descendant of the royal family.”
“So you are a princess of a Tel’an’duth…the first princess at that…” I mumbled.
Mom chuckled to herself, but no joy or happiness emanated from her. “I wouldn’t call myself a princess…I was a bastard….and I was treated like one. The emperor took the throne shortly after my tenth birthday and had his first child on the way with another woman. I was a succession crisis waiting to happen…before he even beca Emperor.”
No way…the forr Emperor of Tel’anduth had ruled since the start of the war with Brax. That ans if Mom was his first child, she must be almost three hundred and fifty years old…I…I can’t even imagine that. That also ans Tsarra is my aunt… half-aunt? Second aunt? Second cousin? Or Cousin? How does a half-sibling to my parents work out? Eh…either way, why is it that I never got the sa family feeling when I look at her? Is that sense just broken for her? Oh…it’s sort of the sa with Terstus.
I…I don’t understand. My reincarnation must be ssing with my Elven senses, just like how I can’t tell the actual age of an Elf. And it must be ssing with them as well.
“So…he used you?” I muttered, trying to keep my mom talking.
Mom nodded her head weakly and hugged from the side. “I…I was adopted into a middle-ranked noble family to explain my abilities and provide with a cover story, although it was very weak. I had to hide my abilities from the public eye at all costs.”
Mom had a far-off look in her eyes as she stared into the corner of the room. Tears periodically rolled down her pale cheeks. “I was trained to be an assassin and a noble. My entire life revolved around infiltrating noble circles and killing them on the Emperor’s orders. It was all I knew…I was a monster born of hate. And instead of taking my hatred out on those who deserved it…I took it out on my targets. I had seduced and killed my first target before I even turned twelve…Kal…I’m so sorry your mother is a monster,” my mother said in a weak voice as she sobbed.
“I see…”
That was all I managed to say at that mont. I felt like I was being overloaded with information…I would have never thought my mother lived that kind of life. A life where she was used as a tool by others. A life that I had once lived…
I’m starting to wonder if this is the actual consequence of being born from chaos magic…
“I really am sorry…I never even imagined all of this happening. I an, how could I? I just wanted you and Cerila to be happy…I knew that she cared for you deeply, and although I may have pushed too far, I would have never forced you two to be together! I—I thought maybe you cared about her as well and that by helping, I could bring you two closer together! More importantly, I was afraid that you took after us too much,” my mom added.
“Took after you too much? Are you talking about Dad and you?” I questioned.
Mom sniffled again and nodded, releasing from her hug. “Yes. We were afraid that you were becoming too much like us…your monts of seriousness…that ti with Cerila’s sister…we saw too much of us in you…we were afraid you wouldn’t be able to love anyone and that it would take you a lifeti…just like it did for your father and . I couldn’t bear to see you live a life like that…so cold and alone… as we did…I—I—I’m so sorry, Kaladin…I—I failed you and Cerila…I made a mistake, and instead of helping you two, I made things worse.”
Mom shook her head from side to side and bit her lip in a mixture of sadness and frustration. She looked into my eyes and gently rubbed my face. “Look at you….you’ve grown so much. I see so much of us in you. When you blasted your bloodlust at us for reacting that way towards Sylvia…or when you stood up for us against your teacher…I never wanted you to be like this…I just wanted you to live a normal life…I—I can’t apologize enough…I love you so much, and I let you down again. I’m sorry for failing you and for making you so mad…and I apologize for treating Sylvia that way.”
Tears rolled down my mom’s face, and I had to blink away so of my own. The lump in my throat had returned tenfold. My mouth started to hurt from trying to keep it steady and stop myself from breaking down even more. I’m sure that if I had more energy and the day’s events hadn’t worn down, I would have been reduced to a sobbing ss.
I grabbed Mom’s soft pale hand and looked at it. It seed so small and frail compared to mine. I squeezed her hand gently. “I understand, Mom. I understand more than you can ever imagine. I know what it’s like to be exploited by others…to know no hope. To be consud by the life that was forced upon us. I—I understand all too well.”
She took a single deep breath and tried stemming the flow of tears but to no avail. I wanted to say a few more things to her before all conversation broke down. I had to let her know.
“Mom, I love you. I’ll always love you, no matter what.”
Her golden eyes went wide with surprise, but they had such a kind and gentle softness to them. I recognized that look. It was the sa look my mom had when our eyes t for the first ti. And although I may disagree with Mom’s choices, I couldn’t fault her completely. She was just trying to give the life she never had. I was her first child; after living a life of servitude, she was bound to make mistakes…she is just a person, after all. A person who lived a life that could hardly be considered normal.
And so of her concerns may have been accurate…who knows?
“K—al…” my mom muttered as she fell into my arms.
And with that, the crying comnced. We cried in each other’s arms for an undisclosed amount of ti. It was like a stake had been driven into the armor around my heart. I didn’t hold anything back, and neither did she. We just cried until there was nothing left. And honestly, it felt liberating.
I finally understood my parents, and although I didn’t tell them about my past, I felt like we were sohow more connected than before. With everything that happened today, it’s odd to say I felt closer to them… but that’s how I felt. Maybe the fatigue was dulling my thoughts, but for now…I just don’t care.
All that matters at this mont are Mom and .
—
I wished my mother goodnight and dragged myself through the halls, quite literally at that. There was a mont when I dragged my feet a little too much and I nearly fell flat on my face after slamming my toe into a roll on the carpet.
Before going to bed, there was just one more thing I had to check on. I didn’t want to knock, so I just opened the door slightly and peered in through the crack. Imdiately my dad and Ms. Taurus’s eyes locked onto mine. The two sat in chairs around a smaller wooden table. They looked to be sipping drinks and catching up.
These two must be old friends, or at the very least allies, considering she was a War God for Brax. Perhaps the two had fought together, and considering Ms. Taurus used a spear as a primary weapon of choice. She may have been trained under the Dark Elves once upon a ti.
They both gave a tired smile, and I returned it with a simple wave of my hand. The rest of the room was…a disaster. Pillows and blankets were tossed around. Mila was lying off the arm of a couch, drooling onto Rosemary, who was beneath her, both of them fast asleep. It was like she fell asleep in the middle of talking to her friend. Dallin at least put so thought into his sleep arrangent as he had tucked himself into a corner of a chair with a blanket.
I quietly closed the door behind and shuffled off to my room. My body was moving on autopilot, and I had no trouble finding the room as it had once served as a temporary ho. I’m not sure when I arrived, but when I regained so ntal capacity, I was already in bed, and I did my best to drift off to sleep. Perhaps recovering consciousness was a poor choice as I delayed my inevitable eting with my dreams.
I groaned, grabbed a pillow, and twirled around in bed, trying to position myself to fall asleep faster, but to no avail. I had gone from being so tired my body was moving on its own to being wide awake. And my head was being bombarded by today’s events. I didn’t know where to start or where I should start.
The fact that everyone is alive and well? Mom and Dad’s life? Sylvia and her big reveal? Cerila and her kiss? The fact we no longer have a ho and I’m staying here in Luminar?
What do I even do…what does the future hold for a creature like ?
Co to think of it. I never did get an explanation as to what Cerila and Padraic were up to. I saw that Padraic had an Opal tag around his neck, but we didn’t get around to that today. Huh…that ans they were out in the world for so ti…adventuring while they looked for .
The life of an adventurer wasn’t always lavish. They must have been roughing it out for quite a few nights…in the cold snow or rain. Or killing monsters or people. All for my sake.
What do I even say to them? I wonder if they feel cheated that I technically found them before they found ? Did they grow to resent after all this ti? They spent all that ti for nothing. They seed relieved, but…I don’t know. Maybe I’m just looking too deep into things.
And I’m distracting myself from the real question—what the hell am I going to do now?
I sighed again and decided for future to decide…whatever I was going to do next. I really need to sleep…I an really need to sleep. I can’t be making life-altering decisions like this.
So. Deep breath in. Close my eyes. Stop thinking. Deep breath out. And—
Knock.
What have I done to deserve this? Is this the third or fourth ti? I’m starting to lose track because it happens too often.
“Just co in!” I shouted.
Knock.
Stupid soundproof doors and walls. Sotis these things are excellent, and other tis, they are a hindrance. I threw my manaweave blanket off and crawled out of the large bed.
I rolled my shoulders and massaged my face slightly just to make sure I didn’t look like complete death. I had a feeling it might be Mila wanting to go to bed. Or maybe it was Mila and Dallin…or…ah….whatever.
The candlelight spilled in when I opened the door, and it montarily blinded . I had to blink the dark circles away until my vision focused, and my Dragon eye always adapted first. My eyes went wide, and I felt my jaw hang open.
Cerila?
She was standing before , holding a candle, in a nightgown that was all too familiar to . It was one of her favorites, the sa one she wore the first night she ca to live with my family and . Unfortunately, the silver nightgown had all but lost its original luster and had faded to a mute grayish white. The soft fabric looked like it had snagged; to be honest, it had seen better days.
I felt like I didn’t have to reach very far back into my mories to see the frail and ek Beastn girl standing at my doorway with a candle in a gown that barely fit her. Back then, she was slightly taller than , and the gown was more of an oversized shirt than proper nightwear. But now…
The gown doesn’t fit her for the opposite reason. So how did she even manage to get into that thing? Tight…is a generous word to describe the fitting.
Cerila wrinkled her nose and looked side to side.
I took a step back and nodded.
Cerila cocked her head to the side and blushed while walking into the room. she signed sheepishly.
Well…ah…nevermind.
I tore my eyes away from her and felt my ears burning.
Cerila moved to the dresser and gently sat the burning candle on top of it. Her snow-white tail swished back and forth. she signed with one hand.
Cerila looked over my shoulder and pouted at . My eyes darted to the corner of the room, and I tried steadying my restless heart. I partially bla my tired mind for giving in to my most carnal desires…I really shouldn’t be looking at Cerila this way…I know it’s wrong, but well…I suppose it’s hard not to stare at a beautiful woman clad in a nightgown so tight it might burst at a mont's notice.
Don’t ignore your desires but don’t give in to them…right, Nick? Right?
It’s completely and entirely normal that my mind would wander to such thoughts. Hormones are a real thing that is present even in my body. But I choose when to act on them. I’ve been handling myself well these last few months…I can uh—I can choose where to look as well.
I signed hesitantly.
Cerila blinked a few tis, then gave a confused look.
Now it was my turn to be confused.
Oof.
Cerila shoved onto the bed with a surprising amount of strength. Before I could even raise my head to look at her, she was already on top of . Her soft chest pinned to the bed as a sweet aroma assaulted my nose. My mind felt like it was drifting away as Cerila blasted with her pheromones.
I bashed my fingers together as quickly as I could.
Imdiately the intensity of the pheromones was dialed down, but the strong sll didn’t fade completely. My head felt woozy like I stood up too fast, and my heart felt about ready to burst from my chest. I took a few deep breaths to settle myself and wiped my sweaty hands on the bed sheets.
Cerila looked at , her face and ears flushed bright red. she exhaled slowly, her long ears pressing down to her head.
I pleaded.
Not even Bella could muster that kind of intoxicating effect. If that was my first ti, I might have just passed out or given in. Does this an Bella was just holding back and teasing , or are Cerila’s pheromones truly that strong? I an, Cerila is far younger than Bella…maybe that has sothing to do with it?
Wait, now is not the ti to wonder about Beastn biology…yeah…definitely not right now.
My eyes locked on to the blue sapphire in the center of the choker, and my heart started racing even faster for a different reason. It seed she didn’t even take that off before going to bed…ah…man….
Cerila kept inching forward, but I stopped her with a hand. Surprisingly she didn’t fight back or even say anything. Instead, her swirling amber catlike eyes stayed locked on . I sohow felt I was being hunted…which oddly enough didn’t bother .
Cerila grabbed my hand with one of hers and just smiled. I could feel the callouses scrape against my skin, and I was surprised at just how rough her hands felt. But, on the other hand, Cerila looked so soft, so I couldn’t imagine that they were even more rugged than mine.
Relief washed over like a tidal wave. I even let out so kind of weird noise that was sowhere between a moan and a sigh. Never had I been more glad that Cerila couldn’t hear .
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