543 Epiphany(Part Two)
The room Skye had dragged i into was a guest room that looked similar to hers. The bathroom was off to the side, and a large bed stretched out on the other side. It didn’t have the extra furnishings like her and Tidas’ room, but she found the color sche of deep green, white, tans, and golds to be the sa.
i was doing her best to maintain herself in front of her daughter, but the volatile emotions within her were choking. Skye asked Klaus and Kari to take Rukia to play for a bit, then hugged i as soon as they’d closed the door to the room’s courtyard. i quietly sobbed as she tried to keep her tears off of Skye’s dress, but her shoulder still wound up with a few darkened spots.
After a solid five minutes of her crying, i finally cald enough to speak in full sentences. She spoke in Alconian, to make sure that her daughter didn’t catch anything that she said as they ran around outside. And to doubly make sure that any passing servants didn’t over-hear..
After several had swallows, i looked into Skye’s eyes with dark circles under hers as she spoke; “I don’t know what I should do.. Hang has every right to as my husband, but..”
“Ya dinna want him touchin’ ya?” Skye added as Hana’s throat seed to refuse to stay open.
It was at that mont that Peggy bustled into the room with a tray in her hands. The porcelain tea kettle on top caught the last rays of light from outside, and shined a glare across Skye’s eyes. As she blinked the white spots away, she silently thanked Peggy for her swift action.
In truth, she hadn’t even noticed that Peggy had split off to gather the necessities for tea. It was a welcod gesture, and i practically chugged the steaming brew of oolong. Once a few minutes had passed and i seed much calr, Skye asked with a gentle tone; “Does he hurt you?”
i stared at wide eyes as she elaborated; “There be so n that canna be pleased by...conventional ans. I just wanna make sure-”
“No! No! Hang isn’t like that! ...He’s actually extrely gentle with .. Tender.. I-I am ashad to say-”
.....
i cut herself off hesitantly, then looked down at the ground as she added; “I enjoyed..”
“You enjoyed how he made ya feel?” Skye finished for her, then continued; “Well that’s normal! Well, actually yer fairing better than most won if that’s the case.”
i’s face scrunched like she was in agony; “You don’t understand.. I don’t love Hang, I love...another. I’m causing pain for both of them, yet there is nothing I can do.. I tried to stay away, but I nearly died from the weight of my grief after my wedding. I almost lost Rukia! I cannot live without.....But I cannot keep subjecting them to heartbreak due to my circumstances..”
Fresh tears welled up as i continued; “I tried to stop, but they won’t let go. Neither of them will let go! And I am Stuck, in the middle of this tornt with no say! I love the other, but Hang has been good to and my family. He gave my Rukia, my greatest treasure.. How can I abandon him?! Abandon my family?! Not that we could anyway..”
i’s unrestrained anguish forced the fresh tears to fall; “My uncle would find us, and then he would..he would kill them. I can’t stay! I can’t leave! I wish I was like Zazzy, and I could just fly away from it all with Rukia!”
Skye’s heart twisted as i began to sob again. She tried to control them, but her emotions were just too much for her to bear. Her level of anxiety was causing her heart to race, so Skye used a bit of her Shaman magic to calm her down.
Ahold of herself again, i smiled weakly as she said; “Thank you for that, Skye. Your magic is most peaceful. I apologize for my outburst. I am usually much better at controlling myself.”
Skye shook her head; “Dinna worry, i. You can co cryin’ ta anyti. Ya ken Peggy and I will always do what we can fer ya..”
“Ya bet yer arse, we got yer back, deary,” Peggy stated as she gave Skye her cup; “Just give the word, and no one’ll find that husband of yers unless pigs learn ta talk..”
While both happiness and confusion spread across i’s face, Skye turned to Peggy with a quirked eyebrow; “Thst twas more than a wee bit dark, Peggy. We’re not gonna kill anyone: just beat a bitta sense into ’em.”
“N-No! No beatings! I just...I just need to collect myself. Once I find my center again, I will be alright. It will always be Rukia, but I need sothing for myself as well. At least, that is what all the tos say to do.”
“Tos? What tos?” Skye’s eyes shimred as she anticipated a lengthy upcoming discussion, but the feeling was short-lived.
When i started to describe several subjects covered within her books, Skye’s expression deflated slightly as she asked; “Did any of these books have the words ‘self’ or ‘help’ in the titles?”
i’s features lit up; “Yes! Do you know of them? One is called-”
“I ken the material and their points.. Ima not a fan of books like that. I tell ya what? Next ti I go to the clinic ta help out, I’ll walk down to that library, and pick out so gems fer ya?”
i smiled and nodded, prompting a massive grin to spread across Skye’s face. She then turned to Peggy, and began discussing sothing while i stared at her in awe. Thinking that it was an inside thought, i unintentionally blurted out; “How can you be so nice to ? Aren’t I pathetic to you?”
Skye and Peggy stared at i, dumbstruck for a few seconds before their faces scrunched with hostility. Peggy pointed her finger at her before going off; “Who the bloody hell do ya think ya are?! NO ONE talks about our i-i like that! Not even You! Now, apologize fer yer comnt!”
i had been so shocked by their anger that she’d froze until Peggy had finished speaking. When her last sentence finally registered in her mind, i laughed loud and hard enough to catch the attention of the three outside. Rukia patted at the door until Kari opened it for her.
The three year old ran at her mother, and jumped into her arms with a wide grin as she said; “You’re smiling! I like your smile! I don’t like you sad!”
Turning her head slightly, Rukia caught sight of Skye. Like she hadn’t realized that she was there before, the child exclaid as she dove into her adoptive aunt’s arms. Skye laughed as she squeezed her, and Rukia yelled; “Auntie! Where Zazzy?! I want Zazzy!”
Getting herself under control, Skye bead as she replied; “Oh, she’s around, sweetheart. Zazzy has been very busy flying around all day, but she’s close by now. I can hear her whenever she flies low enough.”
Rukia’s face scrunched in disbelief; “How?! She no talk!”
Skye released the wee lass from her embrace as she replied with a chuckle; “Well, I can. She’s my baby, after all.”
Rukia’s eyes went wide; “I want to hear!”
Skye’s smile faltered; “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but it will still be a couple years before Zazzy can talk like we can. And even then, you will have to learn Alconian to talk to her.”
Rukia stared at her aunt like she was absorbing the information, then jumped as she yelled; “I want to talk Al-cog-nin! Mama! Please teach ! I want to know! I want to know!”
i had smiled gently the entire ti she had watched Skye and her daughter’s interaction. She wished that she could have a quarter of Skye’s confidence.. ‘Maybe then, I could..’
As suddenly as her good mood had co, it vanished just as quickly. Seeing it shift in front of Rukia made Skye curious, considering she knew that shielding her daughter was the main thing keeping i going. She hadn’t outright said it, but it was obvious after speaking with her, Genie, and Hana.
Not knowing what else to do, Skye placed a hand on i’s shoulder, and spine in a gentle, but firm voice; “I canna tell ya what ta do, but ya dinna have ta be quiet about yer feelings, i. Ya do no one any favors by drivin’ yer self mad, or comparin’ yer situation to another..”
Sighing deeply, she locked eyes with i before continuing in a serious tone; “Ye will never be happy until ya find the balance in yer life. Stop carin’ about how others see ya, and focus on how ya see yer self. When ya like yer self, you’ll realize that the only opinions that truly matter are the ones ya let matter.”
i blinked at Skye as she took in her words, then asked; “How do I like myself? ...I’m pathetic..”
“Ya feel that way cause ya keep tellin’ yer self that crap! Yer kind, intelligent, fun, and beautiful! What’s not ta like?! I dinna ken where this attitude ca from, but ya need ta rember the lass ya used ta be. The only reason I got so good at sneakin’ out ta see Tidas was cause ya showed how ta look fer the right nooks and crannies.”
i grinned as mories of sneaking around her father’s castle filled her mind’s eye, and she recalled being the one to pull a hesitant Skye along. It seed like another life, but it had sparked sothing within her heart. An ember of hope that she could find her lost gumption, and reclaim it..
The group started to reminisce as they finished their tea, then headed back to the banquet hall. As they’re walking back, Rukia is twirling around in front of them when she ran into soone. She imdiately went and hid behind her mother as Richard Yaris flashed the group a wide smile.
“What luck I have to find a group of such exquisite beauties.. Princess Skye: I must say that you could start a war with that dress..”
The way that he looked her up and down made Skye’s stomach twist. He wasn’t unattractive, but his personality made him grotesque to her. Skye crossed her arms as hostility covered her face; “Well, at least I ken who ta go to,ta be properly ard..”
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