Chapter 581
In the struggle, Chu Yunsheng’s hands gradually left her lips.
But she did not dare to shout for help. Because once it was known by others, she would have no courage to carry on living or face her daughter.
Although her clothes were stripped off, she beca strangely calm. She was a smart woman. After the initial panic, she quickly realized that the more she struggled, the more likely it would be to make the predator beco more excited. So she tried to buy ti and tried her best to talk calmly.
“Little Chu, auntie can give it to you, but it is not hygienic at the mont, can you take a shower first?”
...
No reaction, Chu Yunsheng was still tearing her clothes.
In the face of failure, she did not give up. Imdiately, she thought of a new thod.
“Little Chu, you are still young, you can’t ruin your life because of this. If you need it, auntie will introduce other girls to you. They will certainly be more beautiful than auntie, and also more suitable for you.”
...
She emphasized “auntie” this word emphatically, her tone was also very sincere, but it still did not seem to have any effect, Chu Yunsheng began to tear his own clothes.
The situation has reached a critical juncture, and the next step would be... In the face of another failure, she still did not give up. As long as they did not cross that line, there was still a chance. Both of her hands tightly grasp Chu Yunsheng’s hands, stopping him from untying his belt, and she once again said,
“Little Chu, think about your friends and family, what would they think if you did this to ? What would Yingying think of you? What would your auntie and uncle in the hospital think of you? And your cousins, you are older than them, and what would they think of you, if you did such a thing?”
...
This ti, her words seed to have struck the weakest part of Chu Yunsheng’s mind, making his wildly excited and ferocious pupils slightly twitch, and his hand movents were also slowed down because of this. It seed like he was struggling, or he was fighting with so kind of desire, which had been amplified to a degree that was out of control.
Noticing Chu Yunsheng’s subtle changes, she, who was a clever woman, imdiately understood the weakness of Chu Yunsheng. She let loose of her left hand, which was useless at stopping Chu Yunsheng, and did sothing much more useful. She quickly grabbed a picture fra, which contained Song Ying’s photo, raised it before Chu Yunsheng and said,
“Little Chu, you are a person who has a family, if you do this, not only will you ruin yourself, you will hurt your family as well. I have a family, too, and you will hurt , and Yingying too.”
Chu Yunsheng gradually stopped, and his body also beca stiff, but the voice of desire was still fighting fiercely inside his mind, and although his rationality and calmness were still being tossed around like a small boat in a rough sea, it did not look like it could be easily destroyed anymore.
She hurriedly shook the photo and carried on, “Little Chu, think, think carefully, if you really do this, how am I going to face Yingying, and what will my daughter think of ? You are still young, and you will have children in the future. You want your children to think that their father is a criminal?”
The last word, like a sharp sword, struck Chu Yunsheng’s heart, he jumped up from the bed in a panic, quickly moved back a few steps!
In his head, the voice of rationality and calmness echoed loudly,
“You really think that you won’t hurt anyone!? Then how are you going to face your daughter? Do you deserve to be a father?”
...
That loud voice brought the cold and fierce aura, stepping out millions of fragnts like the sharp blade in the hand of the most heroic soldier. It charged to the instinct desire inside the consciousness and suppressed the tempting voice with the help of the black gas energy.
The external force, which seed to have been battered, retreated with a silent sigh, that seed to be relieved or maybe worried. It disappeared without a trace as if it had never appeared before.
At the mont when the tempting voice was about to disappear, Chu Yunsheng faintly heard a very quiet song, that was sung by a girl’s beautiful voice. Beautiful and mysterious, the song was so wonderful that he felt like it was the world’s most beautiful lody coming from distant places like heaven. He couldn’t help but have a kind of yearning feeling.
Then he felt the restraint in his soul beco loose. It felt very pleasant as if it was able to breathe in a wisp of clean and fresh air after being repressed in a damp and suffocating swamp for a long ti.
Unfortunately, the song could not be understood by him, he couldn’t even rember it. At the mont he woke up, it disappeared imdiately, as if the door where the song ca from was closed.
...
“I am sorry!”
After finally regaining his clear mind, Chu Yunsheng turned around. Facing the ssy desk, he was looking for words to explain himself, but in the ssy scene in the room, all the words were useless, including sorry...
He felt like he could die from sha at that mont. He almost wanted to cut off the thing that stirred up all this trouble. After all, that thing was completely useless in this world. But on the other hand, he clearly knew that it wasn’t completely that thing’s fault. Because if it was simply the hormones and the physical reactions, it would not cause him to lose his mind and make him behave like an animal.
The problem ca from his mind. His self-consciousness to be exact.
Whether it was the tempting voice or the anger and panic that seed to be able to influence the movent of the black gas, and that last and cold question, they were all his own voices, his own thoughts, his own ideas, his own consciousness, his own emotions, and they were not imposed on to him by anyone else or any external forces!
He, who was able to live this long, would no longer refuse to admit that he himself had a problem. He would not even bury his head in sand like an ostrich to escape reality.
He needed to analyze what went wrong.
He didn’t want to deny the fact that inside his mind, there was a vicious wolf. He also didn’t want to think whether the human was born evil or not. He only knew that the reason why there were differences between animals and humans, normal people and maniacs were that there was a restrained balance in the normal human brain telling it what to do, and what not to do. But once the balance was broken, and so kind of consciousness or emotion was taken control of the balance, such as lust, hatred, anger, jealousy, etc., would cause so unreasonable extre behaviors, such as killing, deceiving, rape and so on. Although it seed irrational, there was indeed a rule. Whichever the consciousness took control over the mind would result in a series of actions that corresponded to that specific type of consciousness.
He had been angry, he had been desperate, he had also done extre things before and had always thought that it was normal, it was just the emotional outbursts and the emotional demands, but if it was more and more easily for him to get angry, more and more easily for him to beco desperate, and more and more easily for him to do extre things, this, on the other hand, was not normal.
Only until today when he nearly made a big mistake did he first realize this problem and began to treat it seriously. And what happened today also offered him the best opportunity to find the problem. Unlike before, this ti he could clearly rember the entire process of the whole thing, including the intense battle between the conflicted emotions inside his mind.
He rembered that so psychologists had said that consciousness and emotions were also a kind of energy, but they could not be seen or touched. However, what he thought now was just the opposite. From what just happened, he guessed that maybe it was because the energy affected the emotions inside the consciousness and magnified it.
However, he didn’t have much information, and could only speculate it based on what he had seen. He didn’t know whether the black gas was the energy of destruction or not, but there was one thing he knew, it was that the black gas could absorb and magnify both panic and anger. Based on this, there must be sothing that he did not know, inside his consciousness magnifying the envious “Wolf” inside his mind.
Perhaps it was because of these chaotic and conflicted energies inside his mind that made his brain fail to maintain the established balance, which sotis amplified anger and sotis amplified desire, and every ti when it broke the balance, it would cause him to fall into a fatal predicant.
If that was the root of the problem, there were only two solutions he could co up with.
One was to end its root. Without the root, it would not be able to generate fire, and without fire, no matter how it magnified, it would still generate nothing. This was the best solution, but it was impossible to achieve it. Chu Yunsheng didn’t think that he was a very bad guy, and those evil thoughts only appeared once in a while, so he couldn’t do anything to it. Moreover, having different kinds of emotions was exactly what made him a human being. If he removed them, then would he still be considered as a human being?
The second thod was using the thod of causing the problem to deal with the sa problem. Now, the energy that could magnify the desire, has grown greatly and the black gas energy, which could suppress it, has declined trendously. It was exactly this that caused him to nearly make a fatal mistake. Therefore, he should find ways to strengthen the black gas first and then think about leveling up his cultivation level.
When the conflicted thoughts were fighting fiercely inside his consciousness, he noticed that one thing that he thought about when he was still in Zhiwu forest wasn’t wrong. It was that as his strength beca stronger and stronger, his pride would also grow bigger and stronger, so it was he himself who first broke the balance that restrained his behavior, he couldn’t bla anyone else. The energy was just the tool that magnified the unbalance.
So the root of the problem was himself.
Perhaps only at this mont, did he truly understand why the senior practitioner had repeatedly said that all the external things, such culture liquid, weapons, and so on, were only tools, and the only strength that really mattered was the strength within.
He couldn’t have a state of mind like the senior practitioner, nor beca as powerful as him or as knowledgeable as him. The drastic change of living environnt, loneliness, and many other things had a great influence on his psychology, and comparing him to the senior practitioner, it was not even exaggerated to describe his state of mind as naive.
Perhaps only when he beca as powerful as the senior practitioner could this problem be eventually solved. But he also knew that in reality, with his aptitude, he would never be able to reach that level in his life, so he would not be able to solve this problem in a short amount of ti if he wanted to rely on his own strength, he must reply on the outside intervention if he wanted to solve it quickly.
Therefore, in order to restore the original balance, he must use the black gas energy as a weapon of adjustnt, which was the only tool he had, to manipulate and interfere with the balance.
But the source of black gas was still unknown, whether it could be cultivated was still a question. There was no textbook for him to learn, and no one could give guidance. Everything needed him to explore on his own, and he may even need to create a new system.
But fortunately, it was not completely without a clue. Black gas was related to the change of his consciousness and emotions. This was sothing he knew, but he could not keep feeding the black gas his emotions, that was completely a slow suicide, and the only remaining clue was the strange reaction caused by the energy gathering talisman before he shot out the black arrow above the Arctic base. At that ti, he didn’t know what exactly happened to the bow, but now he thought of it again, he realized that the strange reaction only happened after he used the black gas to create an energy gathering talisman and cast it onto the bow to speed up the energy gathering process.
However, even so, the risk was still enormous. He needed to find out if the principles of using Yuan Qi energy to make talismans were different from the principles of using black gas to make talismans, and what were the side effects of using black gas to make talismans.
This was also a complicated project that required constant study, and it was not suitable for the current situation at all.
....
From the opened small black handbag on the table, Chu Yunsheng noticed a business card with the na “Su Su” written on the side that was mainly in Chinese characters. It must be her real na. Chu Yunsheng thought. It was at that mont, a calm voice appeared behind him,
“You may turn around now.”
.....note...
LoL MC almost beca a mother fucker...
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