DESTINED MATE : SWEET ALPHA PHEROMONE Chapter 74 - GRUVV’s POV

There was a day when Shiloh and I were sitting together in the greenhouse, we were enjoying the flowers that were blooming even though it was still winter. Shiloh took off his coat and scarf, he kept refusing to put them on because he thought it was just a trip from the main house to the greenhouse. But, of course, I forced him. It’s too cold outside.

He’s wearing a plain gray ho shirt to match his long hair, long pants that he always wears at ho. He looks cozy and cute at the sa ti. I closed the greenhouse door to keep the room warm while my eyes followed Shiloh as he walked towards our gardener. He spoke with a big laugh, picking up one of the roses that had had its thorns cut off. He ca closer to and smiled.

"Look, the flowers are still blooming!" He said cheerfully.

Those sweet days always ward my heart.

We sat together while enjoying the beauty of the roses. I, personally, don’t like flowers. But ever since Shiloh ca to this house, I’ve co to love them. Activities that I used to dislike have now beco my routine.

"Why did you make a greenhouse?" He asked as he poured hot tea into a cup.

I turned to him who sitting next to , his soothing pheromone scent making a little sleepy. After I found out he was pregnant, Shiloh’s pheromone scent was much more fragrant than before, the scent was so sweet. Was it because it wasn’t just his pheromones that ca out? Is this also our child’s?

"Hm, isn’t the land here too big? With just the main house and the buildings for the maids and one other building for storage, it’s just surrounded by trees and plants. Boring." I said to Shiloh who blinked, he sipped the warm tea in the cup elegantly. Ah, he’s so handso.

"Is that why?"

I nodded, my hand that had been on his shoulder now pinching his cheek, "Ave gave the idea to build a greenhouse, she said it would be nice to see the flowers bloom in winter."

He laughed at that, "Of course, it can’t be you who thinks so."

I tilted my head to the left and looked at him, "Why? You don’t believe I can act romantic too? Haven’t I always been romantic to you? Hm?"

He laughed when I asked him that. A laugh that made want to protect him, forever.

I wanted to explain to him that I took him from Madam Rose to sell him to soone else because of his father’s debt, I wanted to explain to him that after seeing how he struggled to co back to life after going through so much, I forgot all those plan.

In fact, I had a fight with Cross and Joshua because I was defending him.

Would he have felt much better if I had been honest from the start?

"You’re marking ." He said one night, still naked under the covers, I had just cleaned up the cum between his legs. I sat on the edge of the bed, stroking his sweaty face. He closed his eyes.

"I did it." I said.

He opened his eyes and looked at , his cheeks pressed against the pillow, he looked handso. His long hair covered half his face.

"You won’t regret it?" He asked.

It was only then that I realized, just as I had trauma, Shiloh also carried trauma with him. Abused, mistreated by his father, unrecognized by his mother’s family, turned into a prostitute, forced to have a child, all this ti he stood alone. In that solitude cos a sense of doubt in others, which is why he is unable to sll other Alpha’s pheromones.

Then I ca to him, a familiar sll, a sll that he could sense and understand. Wasn’t I supposed to make him feel safe? When he cannot accept the sll of other pheromones, I am the only one he can sll, the only one who can make him feel comfortable beside him.

"Shiloh, I’m sorry I did it when we were both in an uncontrolled state. The overlapping RUT and HEAT made lose my mind, but, I really wanted to mark you. Even though I wasn’t in control during the RUT, that’s what I wanted to do to you. Even though we are not a destined mate, I want to be with you, is that okay?"

I saw his pupils dilate for a mont, he buried his face in the pillow and I could hear him sobbing. I hugged him and kissed his cheek.

"Shiloh, I love you..."

I loved him, this love that made think of giving up the position I had been maintaining underground. I don’t want Shiloh or my child to beco the target of the many enemies of my family, I want to work at the headquarters and just work as an ordinary office worker. I don’t want to get involved in any more horrible things and put him or my child in danger.

I’ve never cared about such things, but Shiloh made want to leave all these bad things behind. I don’t want to kill anymore, I don’t want to kidnap people anymore, I don’t want to be a mobster anymore. Why did I beco such a horrible person? I shouldn’t have beco a mobster.

I can’t hold him too tightly, for Shiloh is too fragile to be held too tightly. I also want him to be able to express himself more freely, I want him to find more of what he likes, I want him to pursue the dreams that he always buried deep.

"What’s your dream, Shiloh?"

"Dreams? Ah, I just want to go to school. I want to get a decent education, you know? Mom says her family is a respectable family in other countries, she says all her family is highly educated. I hope I can achieve that too because I am an Oga Dominant."

"Then?"

"Then?" He frowned.

"What about the dream you want? Your own dream."

He was silent for a mont, our eyes locked, he looked at deeply and silence dominated the room.

"I....want to study music...I love violin..."

New things that I had never heard from him.

"Violin? Do you like playing the violin? I’ve never heard you talk about it."

He looked down, fiddling with his fingers. Oh, I know....

"My father forbade to play music, he said it wouldn’t make a respected person, it would only make a ss of my life."

I know, when you would talk about your father, I could feel the sll of your pheromones changing. Your pheromones showed many emotions that you could never explain with your own mouth. Anger, disappointnt, anxiety, fear, sadness. I could feel all those emotions mixed in one pheromone that you released.

All those traumas he just kept to himself, only he knew how it felt to be in that situation. I want him to be done with all that trauma because I feel the sa way.

What happened to Ford and Joshua left a deep mark on . What happened to in juvenile prison, I want to forget. I didn’t want to rember all those things. However, as a process of coming to terms with trauma, I had to keep rembering all those bad mories and co to terms with them.

"You can play music here, you can learn what you want to learn Shiloh. I will never forbid you. After you give birth, let’s talk about the future. Do you want to be with ?"

Shiloh raised his head, his eyes perfectly rounded, ah beautiful. I cupped his cheeks with both hands, bringing him closer to , our lips touching each other. I closed my eyes as I sucked on his lips, this warm and soft kiss will never be forgotten.

I loved him, loved him so much that it hurt.

He agreed to et with his father, and I knew he just wanted to hear the answer. He wanted to know if what his father said was true.

Shiloh, I should’ve told you myself.

"Gruvv..." Father’s voice made jump, I opened my eyes. There was no one in the room, everything was quiet. I touch my head which was hurting.

That’s right, Shiloh is not by my side right now.

Father looked at with a worried look, he brought a glass of warm water in a cup.

"Drink up... You’re running a bit of a fever, son." Father said.

I took the cup from his hand, drinking the warm water that flowed down my throat. I felt much better.

"What about the investigation?" I asked.

I left the room after finishing talking to Gil on the phone, not knowing what I had just done. I provoked that person by saying I didn’t care what happened to Shiloh.

"Your dad is looking into the six organizations that you and Louis Baxter suspect. We’re trying to locate Shiloh as soon as possible. Are you still uncomfortable?" Father asked again, stroking my back.

"I’m afraid sothing will happen to Shiloh, he already can’t sll other Alpha’s pheromones, but doctor John said his pregnancy requires contact with my pheromones, otherwise it will be a shock for Shiloh too."

Father paused looking at , "You did the right thing by provoking Gil. We’ll be able to catch him and send him to jail this ti. It’s not the first ti he’s tried to deal with the Dhurudatta family."