Let make sothing clear:
I did not ask to be spiritually erect for 24 hours.
I also didn’t ask to be dragged into the Subterranean Yin Pressure Suppression Chamber by a woman whose heels could slice through steel and whose bra probably had a higher cultivation rank than .
But here I was.
Stiff.
Sweating.
And standing before Ms. Hwan, Headmistress of the Yin Arts Academy and full-ti dominatrix of emotional trauma.
"This chamber is designed to suppress out-of-control Yin reactions," she said, folding her arms beneath those gravity-defying breasts.
"Normally used for rogue alchemists. Or teenagers with too much spiritual horniness."
"...So ."
"Precisely."
She pressed a panel.
The walls glowed violet.
Chains dropped from the ceiling.
"...Why are there chains?"
"In case you struggle."
"Struggle with what?"
She didn’t answer.
Just pulled out a brick.
A literal, spiritual brick—shimring with engraved runes and pulsing like it knew things.
"What the hell is that?"
"This," she said, holding it up, "is the Yin Pressure Suppression Brick – Rank B."
"What’s it do?"
Without warning, she tossed it straight at my groin.
[SYSTEM ALERT]
→ INCOMING OBJECT: BRICK
→ LOCATION: DICK
→ RECOMNDED ACTION: Clench. Pray. Die.
THWUMP.
My soul left my body.
The pain hit in waves. First my crotch. Then my brain. Then my spiritual ancestors cried out in agony.
I folded like cheap origami.
Collapsed.
Twitched.
Cursed the heavens.
"Lesson one," she said calmly. "Control. Your. Erection."
I wheezed. "You bricked my balls—"
"You’re still hard."
I looked down.
Still up.
Angry. Proud. Twitching in defiance.
"I hate this system," I croaked.
[SYSTEM NOTE]
Your "Stormbound Fool" status has entered: Endurance Mode
You are now immune to embarrassnt.
Unfortunately, not to pain.
Ms. Hwan sighed.
"Stand."
"I can’t feel my legs."
"Good. You’re finally grounded."
She paced slowly, heels echoing in the chamber.
"Your body lacks discipline. Your qi lacks sha. So we’ll fix that."
She snapped her fingers.
A training dummy rose from the floor.
It had massive breasts.
"...Why does the dummy have MILF cleavage?"
"To simulate temptation."
"This school is hell."
"And you’re enrolled."
She pointed to the dummy. "You will ditate in front of it for four hours. No touching. No reacting. No flinching."
"I’m already flinching."
She pointed again.
I sighed.
Sat cross-legged.
The dummy’s chest jiggled from the wind.
[SYSTEM WARNING]
→ EROTIC STIMULUS DETECTED
→ DURATION EXTENSION 12 MINUTES
"Focus," Ms. Hwan snapped.
I shut my eyes.
Breathed.
Thought of taxes. Ugly grannys. The math section of the college entrance exam.
Nothing helped.
The dummy jiggled again.
So did my hope of survival.
Forty-Eight Minutes Later
I was twitching.
Sweating.
Possibly crying.
Then—
The door slamd open.
"Sup, nerds!"
A new voice. Male. Loud. Arrogant.
A guy walked in—tall, broad-shouldered, glowing hair, perfect jawline, and a sword strapped to his back shaped like a giant lipstick tube.
He wore the academy uniform like it was a nightclub outfit. His na was stitched into his chest in silver:
BAEK DO-WON.
"Who—" I gasped.
Ms. Hwan frowned. "Do-won. You’re interrupting."
"I’m here for the new guy," he said, jerking a thumb at . "The MILF-chard freak. Word’s out. He ascended via snuggling. My entire sword sect is laughing."
"I wasn’t snuggling," I muttered. "I was spiritually rging."
"Oh yeah? rge with this."
He tossed a banana at my head.
I caught it on instinct.
It exploded in my hand.
Literal banana shrapnel.
Spiritual potassium blast.
Why.
[SYSTEM NOTE]
New Rival Detected: Baek Do-won
Cultivation Type: Lipstick Sword Art
Aura: 78% Smug
Threat Level: Annoying AF
He pointed his sword at .
"Well? Fight ."
I blinked. "I’m literally hard right now."
"Not my problem."
Ms. Hwan shrugged. "Actually, this might help."
"What?!"
"Combat training under suppression pressure. An excellent test."
"NO—"
Do-won lunged.
I dodged—barely—slapping his sword away with a cursed training spoon I’d tucked in my belt for luck.
The spoon clanged against the lipstick blade.
Do-won’s eyes widened.
"You parried with... silverware?!"
"I have no idea what I’m doing!!"
I spun.
Tripped on a chain.
Flipped through the air like a circus accident.
Landed crotch-first on the MILF dummy’s face.
[SYSTEM ALERT]
→ DIRECT GROIN-TO-CLEAVAGE IMPACT
→ AROUSAL LEVEL: CRITICAL
→ SHA LIMIT: EXCEEDED
→ DEACTIVATING EMBARRASSNT PROTOCOLS
Everyone stared.
Do-won.
Ms. Hwan.
Silence.
Then—
"...You okay?" Do-won asked, slightly horrified.
I groaned. "No. I am the opposite of okay."
Ms. Hwan scribbled sothing on a clipboard.
"Progress noted. 12% improvent in restraint control. 34% drop in dignity."
I rolled off the dummy.
"My dick is going to sue ."
Later...
I limped back to the dorm.
Bruised.
Spiritually bruised.
Still very hard.
The system pinged.
[SYSTEM UPDATE]
Skill Unlocked: Suppression Aura – Lv.1
Effect: Slightly reduces spiritual horniness in 3-ter radius
Bonus Title: "The Impaler of Sha"
Ti Remaining: 9 hours 11 minutes
I flopped onto the bed.
Eun Hae raised an eyebrow from across the room.
"...Why are you covered in bruises and banana paste?"
"Long story."
"Did you make a rival?"
"Yep."
"Did you sit on a dummy’s face?"
"Also yep."
She nodded. "Welco to the academy."
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