A few hours before it was ti for her to head to the fiend’s shop, Freya was standing by the reception with a troubled look plastered across her face. She was looking through her stats, and in the middle of her agre list of magic skills was a newfound ability called the ’Dick Vacuum’.
’What the fuck is this?! It was a dream, so why?!’ To her, the whole experience was still a dream, and even the hurt in her jaw felt like a placebo. Why exactly? Because it was easier to accept than the fact that she might’ve sucked Custer’s dick while her son was watching. ’Damn it, there’s no way that happened, right?’
With a gulp, she checked further into the details of the ability, and to her further surprise, it was much worse than she could have ever expected.
『Dick Vaccum(Passive: always active): User must master the art of giving blowjobs to gain boosted stats! The more user trains this skill, the higher their ability scores will be!
Warning: Using the skill on weak dicks will most certainly overwhelm the receiver! Essentially killing them through heart attacks or other overwhelming the senses[Use with caution]』
Freya’s eyes widened at the sheer absurdity of the situation. Not only had she gained a strange ability, but it was always active and could kill a person by blowjobs of all things! As for the weak dicks part, she couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of her dislike of weak n.
’What’s going on, really?’ Leaning on the counter, she shook her head and snapped herself out of her head. Looking around to distract herself, she noticed Rudy sitting on a table, and for a second, she caught a glimpse of him staring at her before turning his head back to his breakfast plate. ’No way that was real, or else I doubt we could even be around each other for days.’
Heaving a sigh, she convinced herself that sohow a lucid dream had granted her a strange ability. All the while, sitting in his chair, Rudy was shocked to find that the number of sexual partners in his mother’s lewd stat list had increased from two to three. Not only that, but the blowjob section had also increased to one.
’No way! No way! No way!’ Shaking his head as well, Rudy denied himself the reality of the situation. ’This stupid stats list is faulty! It’s probably only showing that because I had that dream–yes! My thoughts are obviously affecting that stupid thing. I an, there’s no way mom never gave a blowjob to either one of her previous partners or that she never orgasd before, right?!’
Grasping at straws to save himself from the embarrassing realization that his father, as well as that of Audrey, was nothing but a bunch of prejudiced, shrimp dicks like him–the hero kept coming up with reasons as to why the stupid list was lying to him. Besides, he had no clue why he even had that list popping up in his head. Maybe it was a mirage? A lie? A trick of the senses or perhaps trauma from nearly having his dick chopped off by the goblins. Anything was preferable to the alternative.
"Ey," getting hit on the arm by Charlotte, Rudy lifted his head. "What are you spacing out for? We need to eat up and gather by the guild; they’re preparing an expedition party, rember? Stuff yourself before we head out."
Shifting her attention to Roxanne sitting next to her, Charlotte nudged her with her elbow to get her attention as well.
"You too," narrowing her brows, she glanced between the two. "I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but the last thing I want is for you to be so dreamy. We can lose the entire group if we’re not careful in that forest. Rember what we saw, right? We need all of our heads in the ga, or else we lose."
"Y-yeah..." Lifting her head, Roxanne looked straight at Rudy. "Is your luck stat still minus ten? Just making sure."
A bit surprised that she was talking to him after their argunt, the hero awkwardly scratched the back of his head and nodded.
"Unfortunately, yeah, but it hasn’t hindered us in a while, so I think we will be okay." Staring at Roxanne a while longer than necessary, Rudy wanted to address what happened last ti they’d talked, but before he could, Audrey chid in.
"He confessed to you, didn’t he?" Everyone’s spine stiffened to the claim. Their eyes and heads turned to the fox, but the cold look in her gaze cut further in to find the truth. "You two have been acting all awkward for a few, and the only thing that makes sense is that sothing happened between you two. I knew Rudy was going to confess eventually, so I guess he did, but you rejected him."
Tired of waiting for the two to co out and tell them, the fox girl had pieced everything together herself. Paired with the fact that she’d overheard parts of Roxanne’s conversations with Freya, she wanted this awkward air between them to pass over already.
"I-is that true?" With a gulp, Charlotte turned to her nephew. "I... I’m sorry if it is."
Though her words were of sympathy, sohow deep within, a warmth blood. Her affection for cute boys extended even to her nephew, and now that he was no longer looking to confess or chasing Roxanne, she and Audrey were thinking the sa thing.
’Maybe I can...’ A depraved thought for more reasons than one, and yet, with it being so suppressed that they themselves didn’t know why they felt this relief, they wanted it to be true like nothing else.
"It’s true," confirming their doubts with his head lowered, Rudy heaved a sigh with a quiver. "B-but it’s alright, haha..."
Laughing awkwardly, he looked up at Roxanne. And to his surprise, she was glaring at him. In an instant, he knew what that stabbing gaze ant.
’Do not make a scene or I’ll tell them what you planned to do with Okio.’ Not wanting to be a villain in the eyes of the other two, Roxanne llowed her expression and said her final piece.
"I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship yet." And that was that, the snipping of one thread in the awkward love triangle. At least from Roxanne’s side, as Rudy–as hesitant as he was to say it–was still madly in love with a woman who didn’t love him the sa way that he did.
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