It had been a long ti, his head already having counted to about a hundred thousand once more, but having soon after realized that the beast was moving at an unbelievably fast velocity, sothing that ssed with his head quite a bit as he didn't know anything about his own velocity, feeling as if he was constantly stuck, not moving unless it was about evading the slowly collapsing bones, sothing that resulted in him grabbing onto a hole within the bone plate by now.
But at least the constant danger of falling, sothing that terrified him to his core, perhaps because the air had been his domain, his ho once, and now beca more of an eternal fall, more of eternal pain to him, was keeping him "entertained", causing him to not even consciously count and have to concentrate more and more on his newly acquired mana sense, a chanic he found as quite the useful tool to find out which bones were about to break off and which ones he should hold on to so he could evade the oh so terrifying end that was entailed within the endless abyss beneath.
For he was not scared that there was a bottom, he was not scared of splattering down there and becoming more of a puddle of blood than himself, he was scared of becoming a nothing, he was scared of being lost in the endless darkness, of being embraced by it, of having to kill himself after falling for years but being too scared or unable to do so, of becoming one with the darkness, he was scared of the endless boredom, of the anger that enthralled his heart whenever he thought of falling, he was scared of returning to the trash chute where he had originated from, he was scared of returning to that aphysical place which no words could truly describe, the only ones truly being, empty nothing.
Rather than death, a end, he was scared of being down there for all of eternity, breathing in the darkness, left to the insanity of his own thoughts, lost to the anger of the world that surrounds him inside of his head, the last one being rather symbolic and philosophical rather than anything he truly feared, but well, he had to pass the ti sohow, and that did entail thinking about many things, including why he was so scared of falling down all this ti, resulting in him realizing that he had only been in danger of falling into the endless nothing ever since he entered the forsaken realm, whatever it might be called.
Well, no matter, he was now closing in to the light source, being able to make out a wall and behind it rather big pillars of light, concentrated onto a point in the middle and surrounded by a small diminishnt in the light on their downsides, difficult to describe and more of shades than anything else, but still enough to know that he was almost there, perhaps only having to count another thousand or two, sothing that was excruciatingly long in the beginning but now had beco rather mundane and even a tiny bit entertaining, however boring that might sound, it was simply the case that he felt as if he accomplished sothing when he counted, similar to when he discovered the mana sense.
And so he continued on deliberating his own psyche, realizing just how maddening his self had beco and just how far this version of his self, of his very being, was different from the Cades that lived on ehetria, the Cades who had his whole live planned out inside of his head, the Cades who almost always knew exactly what was going on and often even ended up planning it out perfectly, the Cades who was so obsessed with preparing that he had made a pen that was able to write infinitely using the wielders mana, and in quite a nice and sleek design, black, the Cades that loved his sister, the Cades that had a loving family.
He knew he wasn't that Cades, he knew he was more of a leftover of a half-eaten Cades, if that's understandable, he knew that there were many things wrong with him, with his psyche, but perhaps he just hadn't been around for long enough to figure out what exactly was wrong, because he just wasn't able to diagnose himself despite dwelling on everything he had done up to now, sothing Cades regretted dearly in the end as he began to realize just how twisted the end of his fight atop the wooden planks had been, and even more so as he realized that he had smiled back then, sothing that only got worse as he realized that he had been smiling while thinking about the fight itself.
Finally, however, he shrugged that thought off, having counted to a grand total of over a hundred-and-ten-thousand once more, and now realizing that the morbid butterfly wearing his sisters face he had been riding on all this ti had halted itself, or perhaps it had just landed sowhere Cades could not perceive in the darkness, barely being able to make out that there was even light, a light that showed just how morbid the beast he had been standing atop, grabbing the bone plate and hair connected to it to not vanish.
It consisted not of normal flesh but instead of rotten ones, that Cades realized, but more so than that, he realized what he would have to do now, or at least he thought he did, sensing sothing beyond the wall of the increscent, slightly pulsating light, sothing he should've understood far, far sooner.
Up until now he had almost chanically assud that the wall itself should be his goal, but now he realized that the light, now a re dozen foot away, was a test, it was a proof of courage, as he could already feel sothing beyond it, sothing for him to stand on, sothing for him to see, or at least sothing for him to hold on to, sothing for him to save himself.
He tried sothing, commanding his mana which he was using to locate the surrounding things to move in a specific way, a basic of mana manipulation, and indeed, he could feel exactly what he would have to do, realizing just how far down the 'floor', or rather sothing that seed to be protected by a railing, seed to be.
The beast lowered it's body, offering him an even area, and he grabbed at that chance, going back a bit, two dozen foot, and starting to run, trying to gain enough velocity to do what he would have to do, ignoring the horrible screaming and fear of his heart, tears in his eyes as he rembered all that had just happened, all that he rembered as he fell.
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