Braelyn’s POV
I was nervous about what I would find out in the dairy. It was dark, the large full-length windows that illuminated the room viewing over the busy city
I sat on the bed, legs crossed, staring at the diary, hesitating whether to open it or not. The bedside lamp was lit, casting a shadow on .
I still haven’t processed what I discovered earlier, the fact that my mother was involved in Lucien’s mother’s death.
After a long mont of hesitation, I flipped the page open. Despite my hesitation, I still wanted to find out the truth.
My eyes followed the line reading it with complex emotions. After Nadia’s death, Mum slowly started to lose her mind. She woke up so many nights crying haunted by Nadia. The incident continued playing in her mind when she was asleep like a broken record
Nadia’s ghost wouldn’t let her be. Mum kept a detailed record of everything, although so pages were missing and others contained random notes. So pages stuck to , I really couldn’t brush them off
********
October 9th 1998
Avelina
It has been a year now since the incident, and it can’t be hidden anymore. Dominic said I was crying last night. He is slowly losing his patience.
I finally opened up about the dreams and everything. He was stunned and just held, telling it was going to be alright, but I doubt things will ever go back to the sa again. I was a murderer.
*******
November 17 1998
Dominic suggested I go for therapy today. I knew he was slowly finding unbearable, I was losing my mind. Everyone said it was just an accident I shouldn’t think about it
But how can I just forget like that? Nadia ca to my dreams again. There was sothing weird about the way she stared at .
She said we will pay for what we did. At this point, I didn’t know if it was my mind ssing with or her ghost was truly tornting
Worse, I saw him today. The boy she left behind. Katerina isn’t good to him. I would not bla her considering the circumstances of things but that boy was innocent
Lucien was staring at , it was as if he knew the truth. His gaze didn’t leave but it was impossible he knew. Lucien was just a baby then
I think I am losing my mind.
Avelina
******
December 23 1998
Therapy failed, and I can’t talk about it.
How was I going to tell soone else that I committed murder?
Why was I the only one being plagued by this? Katerina was okay, if not, she was happier with Nadia gone.
I just didn’t understand why I was the only one suffering this. What if Dominic can’t stand anymore and decides to have a mistress?
After all, I am already 46 and haven’t been able to bear a child. The doctor suggested we should try an IVF treatnt. Dominic refused the idea because of how painful the egg withdrawal was going to be
Had he given up on or just couldn’t bear to see in pain? I have these questions but I am too scared to ask them
I saw him staring at Gregor’s grandson Raphael yesterday. He had that look of longing in his gaze. He wants a child, but why isn’t he agreeing to do the procedure?
I don’t want to listen to my internal thoughts which are screaming he might have a secret family sowhere. I can’t afford to lose him
No matter what, I must have a child. It isn’t too late, I am in my late 40’s and still ovulating.
What should I do because I am confused?
Avelina
*******
January 4th 1999
Dominic finally agreed to the IVF. So far, the treatnt has been going well. It will be a long, painful process, but it will be worth it in the end.
I am happy. His family called on New Year’s, although he didn’t know I was listening to the phone call, I heard it all. They are still against us.
He is the elder son of his family. They can’t afford him being childless. They want him to leave . After all, there is no need to cling to a barren woman like .
A child will fix all our problems.
Nadia hasn’t appeared in my dreams lately, maybe she has forgiven .
Fingers crossed.
Avelina
******
March 6th 1999
Nadia wouldn’t let go. I warned Dominic but he didn’t believe . She ca to my dreams last night and tragedy struck again.
None of the IVF eggs worked. After all the treatnts and injections, there was not even a single healthy embryo.
I am so sorry, if this is my punishnt for my sins. Nadia please have rcy. I am sorry. If I could confess, I would’ve already, but I can’t, since so many things are involved.
What am I going to do now? Without a baby, I might really lose everything. Why was life being so cruel because of one accident?
Dominic held until I cried my heart out. He promised he would stay with to the end, but I can’t believe him. His words feel hollow
Rumours are getting nasty, they say I ruined him. Falling in love with was his biggest mistake
******
June 27 1999
I think Gregor is hiding sothing. He and Dominic were having a secret conversation in the study.
I overheard sothing about Nadia and her son Lucien. They said my life was in danger. I tried asking Dominic about it but he refused to speak about it. Maybe I am just overthinking but he is hiding things from .
I think Dominic might have a mistress. He is pretty close to his new secretary. I don’t want to accuse him because he has been so good to .
I might just be imagining things, but if Gregor betrayed Katerina, who had children for him. what were the chances Dominic wouldn’t do the sa?
It feels like my life is falling apart.
******
July 4th 1999
We fought today. It was the most painful fight Dominic and I had had in ages. He t his mother today.
I was scared he was finally going to leave a broken woman like . There was no way he wasn’t getting sick of coaxing during my breakdowns
He finally spoke up and I can’t stop crying. Dominic really cut ties with his family for good this ti. He gave up on all his inheritance because of .
I can’t believe he actually loves this much. He truly wasn’t having an affair and promised to get rid of the secretary.
I really can’t stop crying. How could he love this much?
Avelina
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