Contract Marriage st Chapter 63. What was my fault?

Chapter 63: 63. What was my fault?

It all began when I started having constant stomach aches. At first I ignored it any ti I felt the pain in my stomach. I ruled it out to be indigestion, hunger, over-eating or sothing more simple. But then the stomach aches continued, they intensified and they beca more regular.

To the point where I would faint at tis. The pain was worse than nstrual cramps.

Because of my busy schedule, I didn’t have ti to go to a hospital for a checkup so I had my secretary get

simple stomach ache dicines.

I was constantly using them to subdue the pain. The first one he got

wasn’t potent enough so I asked him to get

sothing stronger and he did.

I continued with those drugs until one day while I was at ho the pain hit , I had run out of the stomach ach drugs. My stomach was killing , the room was spinning, my head was aching and the next thing I knew I was waking up on my bed with Rowan by my side.

He said he had found

laying on the kitchen floor where I had passed out.

He asked

questions as a doctor, not as a husband. But foolishly enough, at that ti I was happy because it seed to

that he was worried about

and I was happy that he was sitting next to

and talking to

because we hadn’t seen each other for a while due to our busy schedules.

After answering his questions, he told

he was going to take a sample of my blood to run so tests and he did. He was my husband and my doctor. I was happy he was caring for my well-being. It had been a long ti since he gave

so much attention.

Not that I was complaining at that ti. I new and understood the nature of his job, so I really didn’t complain. But I was still happy he was giving

attention.

One afternoon in the next week, he called

over to his workplace. I had etings throughout that day and if I was going to go see any other normal doctor, I would have definitely told him I couldn’t make it.

But it wasn’t just any doctor... He was my husband. I was ecstatic that he wanted to see

even though I knew it was sothing about the tests he said he would run.

I was able to push back so of my etings and made ti to go see him. I rember in the car on the way to the hospital, I put on lipstick, a little mascara and powdered my face so I could look presentable to him.

We weren’t going on a date or anything, I just wanted to look good for him. I was going to his workplace after all. I didn’t want to embarrass him.

I got to his office that afternoon and that’s when he told .

I had cancer.

He said that was what his diagnosis was. That was the reason for the constant stomach pain, it was the reason I was always nauseated, it was the reason I was having trouble swallowing food lately.

I had cancer.

I could not believe it.

I didn’t want to.

I was scared to.

I could already see my life slowly being zapped away from my grip. I was already starting to imagine how I’d slowly wither away and die.

After all I had been through, after losing my parents as a child, I too was going to die.

But then he walked around his desk, and he held my hand and kissed . He said "We’ll get through this together. That’s why I’m here. I’m your husband. It’s a good thing we detected on ti. I’ll make sure your surgery is scheduled as soon as possible and you will be back to normal in no ti."

It was the first ti in a long ti that his voice and gaze towards

had been so soft. I was sad and troubled about my cancer, but I was happy that at least, it helped

prove that Rowan loved

dearly.

Just like he had promised. The surgery was scheduled for two weeks later, he signed the papers as my guardian and without bothering to read the contents of the dical papers because it was my husband who was giving it to , and because he was the one who was well-knowledge in the dical line, I signed without hesitation.

Throughout the days that led to the operation, Rowan treated

kindly. He would buy

gifts, spend ti with , and unlike the tis where I’d almost have to beg him to touch , he’d willingly co to

and make love to . And he’d lay with

for hours, stroking , caressing , whispering words of assurance to .

Telling

I had nothing to worry about. Telling

that it was all going to be alright.

To be honest, I thought it was the happiest ti of my life. I’d never been happier.

Finally, the date of the surgery ca. He wasn’t the one doing the surgery personally. It was a fellow doctor who was a friend of his. I knew the guy, but I was a bit worried because I thought Rowan would be the one in charge of the surgery.

I was also worried about sothing else...

The silent exchange between the two of them. At that ti I thought they were being that way because the surgery was probably a risky one and I was scared. But now I know... that was not the reason at all.

Again, Rowan tried to assure

that the surgery would go well, and he kissed

as I was being led to the operation theater.

I still rember how I felt that day when his hand slipped out of mine and I watched him fade out of view, away from my reach.

Terror.

Imnse terror.

But then I would think back to his words, "You’re going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine. I love you Chammy, just hang in there." and my entire system would beco calm.

That was how I went through with the surgery.

And I ca out successfully.

About two months after the surgery, I noticed sothing strange.

I wasn’t seeing my period.

At first I was glad thinking I might be pregnant, but then I did the pregnancy test using a strip... There was nothing. I didn’t have ti to spare, but I still needed to confirm so I went to the hospital and conducted a quick pregnancy test. That too showed I was not pregnant.

Four months after the surgery, I still didn’t see my period so I told Rowan about it. And that’s when he explained to

that...

"Oh, I forgot to explain the after effects of the surgery to you." He had said, "For so months, you won’t see your period. The after effects are different for n and won. For n, their sperm release will be reduced drastically for so months after the surgery, while for won, their monthly blood flow either reduces or stops entirely for so months. The longest ti for the side effects is a year, so don’t worry, you’ll be back to full health before or by a year’s ti."

I believed.

I had no doubt.

I had no reason to doubt.

He was my husband, he was the man I was in love with, the man I believed was in love with

too, and more importantly, between the two of us, he was the doctor.

There was nothing to doubt.. His words, his explanation sounded reasonable.

And besides, "Well I guess that will an a year free from wicked nstrual cramps, I think I’ll like to have this surgery again." was what I had said.

How foolish of .

I didn’t crosscheck with anyone else. I didn’t even browse the internet about it... I was a busy woman who believed everything her beloved husband told her.

When I told Duke that I was perfectly fine now, and that I didn’t have cancer anymore, I left out this detail. I left it out because although it’s been way over a year since I had the surgery and stopped seeing my period, I still had a little faith in Rowan...

If not as a partner, but as a doctor. A professional doctor, who gave

a diagnosis and I believed him.

I believed eventually my nstrual flow would begin again very soon.

So I didn’t think it was necessary to tell him that detail.

How laughable I am.

My life has been a joke.

All the ti I spent with Rowan was a total joke. One that I didn’t even find funny because until now I never really saw the joke I was made into.

What was my fault?

Loving?

Trusting?

Believing?

What exactly did I do wrong? Why would anyone take sothing so precious from a person? Why would, why would he do that to ?

Did I offend him in anyway? Why would he lie to

that I have cancer just to make

undergo a surgery that would keep

from having children for the rest of my life!!

Why?!!

Dear God, why? Why did you let this happen to ? Was this my punishnt? Punishnt for not listening to your warnings? Punishnt for taking steps without you? Why, God, why?