Chapter 61: 61. I do love him.
"Champagne, you’ve talked about how much you respect Duke, and how much you love the twins. But tell , is it just respect you have for Duke? Do you love him?"
That’s a good question. But one I’m a little scared to answer.
I take closer steps to her again, then nervously, I move away from her once more. I walk till I’m standing directly in front of the portrait of Moriarty the cockatoo which is about six feet from where Mary is sitting on the couch. My heart is racing rapidly just because of that one question. I turn around and stare at her, silently wondering if she would understand and believe my words.
"Mary," I call her na calmly.
"Hmm?"
"It has just been over a month since I left Rowan. Which ans it’s just been over a month since I t Duke. To put it simply, today makes it a month and two weeks since I t Duke..."
"Champagne, what are you trying to say?" She simply asks. I bite my bottom lip as I move closer to her again.
"Well, you see,
and Duke... we’ve kissed. A lot of tis." I say and she chuckles.
"Champagne, why are you beating around the bush? I’ll be lying if I tell you I believe nothing more than kisses has transpired between you two."
"I_ It might have. To be honest there have been plenty of opportunities for things to move further than kisses, but each ti he ends it with just kisses."
"So nothing has happened?"
I blush and turn my face away from her, "No." I shake my head. "I keep wanting him, yet sothing keeps holding
back. And I think Duke senses that. He sohow knows I’m not fully committed to releasing everything to him even though I want to and that’s why he always holds back no matter how much he desperately wishes to have ."
"And what is this thing that keeps holding you back? What is the reason you can’t seem to give everything to him, even when you want to?"
"You knew how much I loved Rowan. With all sincerity, you knew I loved him."
"Yes, I know, Champagne, it was evident that your love for your husband was real."
"So do you think it’s normal to lose the love I had for him just like that? I an I’ve loved him for years. Do you think it’s believable if I tell you I no longer have any love for him?" Every ti I think about it this way, I feel like there’s sothing wrong with . Is it normal to feel this way?
"Do you think it’s normal for
to love soone else so quickly, so easily?" I ask.
"Champagne, co here." She pats the space next to her. "Co on, take a seat." I pats again. Reluctantly, I move my feet till I’m standing directly in front of her, drag in a deep breath and sighing, I sit down next to her.
"How do you feel when you think of Rowan?" She suddenly asks.
When I’m asked that question, what is the right answer? The truth is, "I don’t think of Rowan. Not when I’m with Duke at least. And when he does co to mind, it’s not like having nostalgia or anything, it’s just to compare him to how good Duke is to . The only other ti my head shifts towards him is when the private investigator Duke hired to gather evidence of his fraud towards
cos around. Other than that, Mary, I don’t think about him."
"And Duke? How often do you think of him?"
My lashes fall over my eyes as I turn my head away from her timidly, "Mary, you don’t need to ask that question again." I lift my lashes and stare into her eyes that are as dark as my own, "I think of him every ti. He’s all I can think about."
"Champagne, you see, the human heart is a complicated thing. Even God knows this. You might think it is abnormal to move on so quickly and easily from soone whom you’ve loved for so long. But the truth is, sotis all the heart needs is the right person in the right situation to change the way our hearts feel towards another person. For so people, yes, it would take years to get over such a heart break, but thank God he didn’t give you the kind of heart that would dwell on pain for a long ti. He gave you a heart that can easily love for a reason. And he put Duke in front of you, for a particular reason too. Losing your love for Rowan happened fast, and starting to love soone new was even faster, but nothing was wrong or abnormal about it."
"Really?"
"That is what I sincerely believe. So you shouldn’t be cautious or wary of declaring your love for him. I believe a month is good enough ti to fall in love with the right person."
"Then Mary, I should tell you this..." I’ve never said this out loud because I guess deep down I’ve felt like I was kind of wrong, but after this affirmation from Mary, that there’s nothing wrong with how I feel, I think it’s ti I confess it.
"I love Duke." I profess. "I love everything about him. From him as a person to the warmth of his entire family mbers. I love how they accept
even though they all know where I’m coming from. I love how he looks at
like I’m so kind of artwork that he just can’t stop appreciating even though I’m just plain old ."
Oh God, I feel so light saying this out loud. I’m so happy I can say these words out loud. "Mary, I do love him. I do... I really do. And now that you tell
it’s okay to find love in just a month, I just can’t help the sweet sweet tingles that are coursing through my body. Freely, without restraint... I love him"
"Now this is unfair."
"Ahh!" I scream and jump in shock as Duke suddenly walks in with the twins in his arms while still holding a white nylon bag that seems to contain more than ice-cream.
"D_Duke! Y_you guys are back. D_did you get the ice-cream? I_ I was just telling Mary t_that I love the chocolate flavor more. I_ I forgot to tell when you were going, haha—"
"Uh-hun, sure you were." Mary says with a laugh as she rises to her feet, "he knows you’re lying Champagne. Even Shelly and Renny seem to know too."
"Mary!" Oh dear God, I didn’t want him to hear it like this. I look at the twins in his arms and truthfully, it seems they also heard what I said. The funny eyes, blushing cheeks and silent giggles coming from them proves that Mary is right. They heard it all.
That I love Duke.
Oh I just can’t stand the way they are all staring at . I feel so embarrassed.
"I’ll take them, boss. You two seem to have sothing to talk about." She says and Duke places the twins down, handing the nylon bags in his hand to her too.
"Co on kids, let’s leave the adults to discuss." She says and they move along with her.
"Mummy, how much do you yove daddy?" Renny asks while giggling and running away.
Oh gosh! So they did hear it all!!
I can die of embarrassnt now.
Now it’s just the two of us left. Slowly, he begins to walk towards
"We—" The mont he opens his mouth to speak I don’t know what possesses , but I run around the couch just to avoid him and out the door.
"Oh co on! Pagne!!" He yells my na behind
as I run. I’m running and running without even thinking. I can’t face him right now.
It’s been so long since I’ve had to confess my feelings towards anyone. I can’t believe he heard what I said. I an I was going. To tell him eventually.
I can hear him still calling my na. Chasing ...
But I’m just so embarrassed because I only just confird my feelings for him too. So it’s unfair that he gets to find out imdiately I confird it for myself.
It’s embarrassing.
His voice has faded.
I’ve ended up inside a garden... Right now, it’s a garden of snow, but according to Duke, various kinds of flowers bloom here in spring.
I’m wearing sothing thin but thanks to the sun that is out today, the weather is sowhat warm even though the garden is covered in cold snow.
I make my way to a bench that is etched into a willow tree. I wipe the snow off the bench with my bare hands and sit myself down.
And now I’m wondering, why did I run?!
I’ll have to face him eventually.
But not now at least. Not now...
"Have you heard that saying?" I flinch, instantly rising to my feet to run again, but this ti he’s quick enough to grab my wrist.
"You can run, but you can’t hide." He pulls
by that wrist till I’m standing with my body pressed on his own. "You can always run Champagne," I now realize he’s breathing was heavy before, but it’s slowly returning to its normal pace, "But you can never hide from ." He breathes, "Because I will always find you."
Dear God, he doesn’t know, does he? That I don’t really want to hide from him. I want him to always find .
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