Chapter 51: 51. Cancer quarrel.
{Pagne’s POV}
The night is cold, but the pleasant feeling inside
warms
up in a way I never thought I could feel. I look at the twins in the back, they’re already fast asleep in their car seats. They must be tired, I thought they would be chatty all the way ho, but once they were buckled into their car seats, it didn’t take long for them to doze off. They are so adorable.
I turn my face back to the road, adjusting my head on the head rest. For a mont, my eyes follow the windscreen wipers, back and forth as they wipe snow off the windscreen, forming a pattern of a half circle.
I am suddenly reminded of the half moon cookies we had at the amusent park. The twins wouldn’t stop complaining and asking why it was not a full moon instead. Thinking about the frustrated cookie seller now is making
laugh. They kept on asking him questions upon questions like they were so sort of food critics. Things would really have been awful if we ended up not buying from him.
My gaze shifts to the hand driving us ho. One hand in the wheel and the other is on the window with his head pressed on his fist.
Duke.
Duke Grand.
The Grand Duke of my fantasy.
He’s everything a person could wish for.
Everything and more.
He keeps giving
much, and the things he asks for in return, he says he will wait to get them. He won’t rush . He says he loves , I still don’t understand why, but he keeps showing
in ways I can’t help but cherish.
Just like today.
For a second, his eyes locks on mine and a soft smile crawls up his lips before Hee faces the road again.
When he said he would seduce
with all he had, kids and family too... This was what he ant, right?
If yes, then I am seduced.
I can’t deny that.
I didn’t expect a family outing, but after doing it, I feel so fulfilled and happy. So happy because there was once a ti I thought I would not even make it to this year.
I move my eyes from him and notice a pink billboard. It’s a breast cancer awareness notice.
"I had cancer." I jolt forward as the car cos to an abrupt halt. Instantly, my head turns to stare at the twins. Thankfully, they are fine.
"What happened? Why did you stop so suddenly?" I turn and face him and his eyes, they seem to be shaking. The expression on his face is fear, I know it, but what could have brought about thus?
"W_What did you just say?" He asks, Did he just stutter? Duke never stutters. Why is he acting like this?
"I said why did you suddenly stop the—"
"You have cancer?!"
Ah, now I know why he’s like that. Did I say it out loud? I didn’t an to.
"Tha— had. I had cancer. I am fine now." He doesn’t believe . The worried look in his eyes tells it all.
After being with him for a while, I know this much now... I know this look on his face. He’s extrely worried, to the point where he can’t hide it.
"Duke," I place a hand on his own. "Seriously, I am fine now. It was about two years ago, but I’m fine now, I promise. I don’t have any kind of pain."
I squeeze his palm in my own and try to give him a smile "Believe ." His eyes close tight for a second as he let’s out a deep sigh and I think I’m now hearing the honking sounds of other impatient drivers around us.
"L_ let’s get out of here first, we will cause traffic if we don’t move." I explain.
He doesn’t say a word. All he does is sigh again and again before turning his attention back to the road and setting the car in motion again, but not before sighing deeply again.
...
"What kind?" His voice breaks the silence that had continued after we began to move again. I look at the road, we’re almost ho. Just about five minutes more. "Pagne, what kind of cancer?" Oh, that’s what he ans.
"Stomach cancer." I say. "But don’t worry, I’m really fine now. We were quick to notice it so—"
"We?"
"M_myself and Rowan." Why do I suddenly feel like I’m doing sothing bad, or I’ve done sothing bad. "I was having constant stomach aches. He was my doctor so he had tested
and found out I had stomach cancer. I had surgery and everything worked out well."
That’s not the entire truth. I’m leaving a minor detail out about the outco of the surgery. But there’s no need to tell him that, he’ll only worry more. Besides, Rowan said that thing will not be permanent, it will be reversed soon.
"Dearest, you should know by now that every word that scum of a bitch told you was a lie." so words Duke had once said to
suddenly replays in my head. But I shake it away. No, Rowan could not have lied about that, he’s a doctor, even if he’s a dirty adulterer, he’s a good doctor. He wouldn’t lie about the results and after-effects of a surgery to his patient.
"Did you hear ?" I’m drawn back to reality by Duke’s question.
"W_what? What did you say?"
"I said you’re going to see a doctor with
first thing tomorrow morning."
"Wha— Duke, seriously, you’re overreacting. I am completely fine now. Have you seen
faint due to stomach pain? No. That ans I’m fine now."
How do I explain anything to him right now? He looks like he’s not even listening to
at all.
"I’ll be the judge of that."
Ugh you have got to be kidding . Why is he worrying for nothing? More importantly why did J have to blurt out nonsense about once having cancer and cause him to worry.
"Duke, you’re not even listening to . I am totally fine now. And besides, I have a eting with the marketing team tomorrow morning, I can’t just not show up."
Who am I even talking to? He’s clearly made up his mind. Urgh, seriously, he has nothing to worry about!
"Duke, Rowan perford the surgery himself and I am completely—"
"That’s even more reason for
to worry. I don’t trust that piece of shit you were once married to." Why did he have to make it sound like that?
"Rowan was a shitty husband, but he was a good doctor." Why do I feel like we’re arguing? Are we arguing?
"Oh now you are taking the side of a bastard who cheated on you."
"What are you even saying? I’m not taking his side! I’m just trying to say that you are being a little unreasonable here. There’s nothing to—"
"Am I being unreasonable?! After everything the bastard put you through, you don’t think it’s normal that I question his diagnosis?!"
"No! I don’t think it’s right. Rowan is one of the best doctors in—"
"Do you still love him?"
What the heck?! Where the hell did that question co from?
"What are you even saying right now?"
"Forget it, we’ll wake the twins if we continue."
What? What is wrong with him?
...
I’m tossing and turning in bed and I can’t seem to get it all out of my head! I an how do I make the man understand that I am perfectly fine now! And what was that nonsense about
still being in love with Rowan?
...
Two hours later, I’m still up looking at the ceiling. It’s past twelve now. Duke is probably fast asleep. While I’m here tossing and turning. I just can’t seem to find sleep for so reason.
Why can’t I get it out of my mind? Does he really believe that? Does Hee really still think that I’m in love with Rowan?
I don’t know either.
But I don’t see Rowan the sa way anymore. Doesn’t that an that I don’t love the man anymore.
The fact that I rarely ever think of him these days, doesn’t that an I don’t care about him again?
I don’t really know of I don’t love Rowan anymore, but I’m also very certain that I hate what happened this evening. I hate the tone of Duke’s voice when he asked
if I still loved Rowan.
I hate how sad he sounded.
I hate that we fought... If that could be called a fight.
I wish I could be with him right now and—
Huh?
What was that?
That thought?!
"Champagne!" I scream to myself in a low voice. "How can you think that?!" I can’t believe I just thought of that.
But, is it such a bad thought? Being next to him doesn’t necessarily an we’ll be doing anything.
Does it?
I just want to tell him I’m sorry if he felt I was taking Rowan’s side and honestly... I just want to see if I will fall asleep after making up with him.
Dear God, this train of thought is alright, right?
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